So it's all about what you do with the information you're given and why I like Dr. Rice on MasterClass. I hate that in a world where the gap is only growing- I dare say The United States of America In Worlds of a Country. What does he mean by that? Right now I'm in a community where some people can just literally appear- its like a light show at one of the music shows you can watch online. Oh wait- there are people in this country that don't have even access to access the facility to access youtube and watch a video that I'm speaking of. Could they actually walk to the library, possibly, if an officer didn't stop them (hopefully in a proper manner-whats that? The person I'm speaking of may not even know that.) Can I just say how angry I am that no one has mentioned taking guns away from officers? Is that crazy? I don't think so- I this community I hope it's already been done or will hopefully be done soon! Should an officer need a gun for a routine traffic stop? No. They have it. What if they don't follow the law? What if I don't feel safe putting down my phone that I'm recording them on? What if this is my third run in with this officer? What if I am a security guard who has never had a conversation with someone- then this dude from Alabama walks in and starts talking to me and then a real security guard walks up and distracts me, the other says goodbye.... So I don't think they are all fake- but budget cuts are budget cuts- and all I'm saying is that in this community it would go to make a meth lab only to further create disparities and corruption. I am so in favor of rolling black outs in this community! I dare say they have security systems advanced enough to close blinds and have windows that make it seem as though people are home- as replicas of themselves. Or someone else- how many billionaires or regular Joe's have not only their fake houses but houses to keep their mistresses in and then decoys for that and then that- I hope not many. Surely, at that level you can just be you, and make your relationship exactly what you want it to be. HaHa- this is how my world will work. I think. So look- you don't get to have a drone that is so advanced it can drop his phone with me present- calculating the physics involved to determine the cracks in the glass and show it to me! How many people actually grab the phone from that friend and say oh that sucks! What;s the probability involved in calculating the risk of that 'friend' asking to hold it after its broken- with me kinda high. I'll kiss it and make it better. I encourage the world to literally touch it. I don't know where all this would actually apply. You know I can't think of a time when my parents ever lied to me- until they tried to be my friend or something. If I thought in my mind that the first wreck I ever had, which happened the weekend I turned 16 was actually someone being mean it wouldn't be until now. In my heart I would never think that... but, I did get a car when I turned 16. Actually, a little before that. So that I could get used to it- you don't just put your baby in a car they've never driven and let them have at it!? Well mine didn't, and thankfully the turn I was going around was sharp and I did drive faster- a lot faster then I did with them in the car. I mean my mom drove a mini van... lets be real Anything was faster.. So the curve was sharp- I was going fast, I hadn't had anything to drink, and the tires literally popped off. I mean, I did know how to drive the car so I maneuvered it between a ditch and a mailbox that may have had inches on either side for me to get through once the tired were off. It was like they lost their grip on the rim- they were very much attached to the rim- but like a tire or rubber band that was too big for what it was around.
I also still drove fast after that- passed a teacher on the way to a football game cause naturally I was running late- I had to paint the windows with shoe polish! Actually, no- it was window paint. Arguably she told my parents- though she said she only would if she saw me doing that again. They didn't tell me if she did. I don't think anyone would hurt me just for being gay. I mean, I dont want to. After living in LA for a couple of years- I was called a silly faggot at LA Live with a friend and we were both like... parrrdon?! Or at least that's what our faces probably said, we both kept walking and after out of their view stopped and had a 'queen' out moment were we both turned to each other and said 'What the fuck was that?' I honestly thought I didn't hear them correctly. I then was with a friend at the first couple of times I went to the gay club in birmingham. Luckily, we stole cable for awhile and that got us HBO for free so I could watch the American Version of Queer as Folk. This was in High School so the last season when the club was bombed and what's his face got 'hate crimed.' It literally was so shockingly foreign, new and scary for me to be inside the gay club that though safe, I left. I was like- oh my! It's awesome and feels right?! But, then this club exists in my backyard? Oh no! I have to get out of here! It might get 'hate crimed.' If someone did do something to my tires- which I don't think they would, I still even have to justify even thinking so, I had friends to either stop them, try to fix it, or they covered it up and I had a dad that was no idiot. Either way- all I'm saying is that I still will argue with my mom, who still jsut wants me to admit I was drinking that it was my fault. I still, and I think last time I saw here argued- She said geez josh, I would think that even now you would just say you were drinking... of which I verbally slapped her with, geez mom... I can't believe after all this time you wouldn't trust my gut when I say the tires must have been low or something, that I was not drinking, and yes I was going too fast but it was just weird! I mean- I maneuvered a long nosed car you basically lay down in through a situation that only could have been done with me knowing the car and pushing the limits even with them in it- good and bad. We were driving in traffic and i sped up to let a car over then got back in my lane to avoid another car- I would have done it that way now, my mom probably wanted ot do it- might not have because her car was so slow, and when I resumed normal speed she said 'wow.' I was like what? I didn't get up that fast! It was a V6, I went from 65 to 75- maybe 85 in a hot second. I'm not giving a parenting class- just annoyed that someone earlier told me how lucky I was to be white. I was like, well according to you then even unshowered and homeless I'm better then you. I may carry myself that way, but I don't feel that way- arguably that's my issue with this issue. People think I'm so lucky to be white- I think I'm just lucky/Blessed/self-ish/motivated....any word you want to put in it's place that doesnt me ever having a mindset of it being a compitition and me winning because of skin color. Cause I hate it! I don't think that all people feel that way- for my current possibilities in reality I think Oprah built herself a 'steady man' to escort her at the Oscar's! Ha- Oprah be having a robotic degree also. I don't know- all I'm saying is that in the essence of not trying to figure people out- because they aren't problems... I believe she might take it one step further and go with artificial intelligence- I mean hey, when steadman act up this where he have to stay- in her guest house that has 5 bedrooms. HAHA! It's funny, but I didn't grow up in her world, make it out to be a billionaire- only to have that still happening even in all the ways in which the world has bettered itself. OK, so now we have computers literally everywhere, on buses-controlling traffic- yet people can't get to the offices to apply for aid when they need it, because of a person with an issue. (No Free Rides! Per the VTA.ORG) They have so many cameras that if they actually record all I think they do then some of these buildings around here have to be servers and storage. Kidding- only that convientily I know of an apartment complex in the 'real' world/LA where they have little cameras. Entrances and Exits with guards. And they dont record... they have policy instead for visitors...but she said, it's not that shocking that we don't. The more we have recorded the more it makes us liable for things out of our control.... I'm giving a lot of details. I don't care- trust, its more fun for me to just do what I want. I'm getting to here I feel like they have a community in the richest part of America that feels the opposite- only because of a legal system that hasn't been 'checked.' Isn't people as fake as reality TV may be being themselves the best. Well hell yeah- you can't take the ghetto out the- nevermind... someone checked me once for saying that word and I have never forgotten it and learned so much. I don't give details about others- but I will say that one of the websites, maybe the EDD asks you for your first car's color as a password protection/forgotten password question. Well, if i have grown up on facebook- that isn't hard. I mean myspace was king when I was introduced to social media. Point is I worry about things that don't even matter when you think of what some are going through on both ends of the spectrum. You haven't met that person- well arguably I've blow a guy from each side so there- just letting you know it was still me. Actually, they_____. Yep, still me. I used to bitch about a Doctor's office not having email- but that's because they only had it for inner office. Outside emails cannot be trusted when you consider people health and information. What about that the color to my car on my facebook page is the password unlock thing. If you think drugs completely negates a person and makes it so they aren't taken seriously then I would say- here's a cup tested by an outside/3rd party vendor and I'ma check you boo since you don't have a round way of thinking to do so. What do you mean, my steady man hardly be having to go to his place when he act up! I've figured it out, therefore I am- no, bitch... now, konk! That was NeNe and I dare say Ms. what's her names mom said- I just don't like him! And O, you back at the drawing board. I will use you at Katrina in New Orleans- some people may not even be able to see that. See that you're real and have real emotions- and can't better themselves. I started this like I do all things, about me. I don't think that times are changing, I think it's people. There wasn't one black person in that movie- and I ague that it isn't known by half the- no one reads this... but if they did, they may not know the reference to 'that john wayne' movie even if they had access to the library and could look it up and then had headphones to watch it in the quiet room/tech center without the officer improperly arresting and profiling them as someone was harassing them for being in their neighborhood/walking on their sidewalk and that's if their mama even let them leave the house because when I watched the view and they talked about profiling and those two women got into it about actual numbers and results from well rounded research about disparities, I can't relate. I'm in San Jose and I don't know that anything like that has ever been looked at here. It just weird here. I don't know. It makes sense what I'm saying though- it is so bad here that I feel like I'm on a fake Turman Show world of 'ok, cut!.' To the point I've even thought about- so if Meryl Streep is an actress that plays her role the entire time, wether filming or not... so if she's a cave woman in a movie, her assistant better watch her wooden club.... how does she say- ok, I'm done. I mean, I think I get the idea of it- but where does it stop? It's not that it's helped or hurt me knowing that- just that I know she does that as an actress on set... now imagine a world and situations where I think hmmm, if i were meryl how do I yell 'cut' as an actor who needs a re-take when I've lost my train of thought/lines because I'm in shock. I don't know how to make it better. I don't I wish I did. What I know about an officer exposing themselves is true- and I've upset an entire community by letting them know... I mean, if a dude I liked to puond senseless put two and two together after awhile based on things he knew or didnt know to be true I'd be pissed as it pertains to my job. Also, if I was a mama in this community i would be pissed also because that means they been double dipping like that when they don't supposed to be doing so, and what else do they or dont they know and are or arent doing to my community in all aspects. I love the Blind Side. Sandra Bullock did such a good job- so did Brad Pitt in Troy... but there aren't movie theaters around here... and fuck if anyone can afford anything around here. I know I can't. If you told me it was them fact checking me by doing all this then in LA you have to apply for 10 jobs, maybe 5 when you apply for cash-aid... here, they havent told me to do that. So once I turn in the last thing- will that be an opps my bad on my workers part? Why did my public defender feel the need to not fight harder and advise against what all they found during an arrest when they dropped the arrest itself as a charge and the other trumped up charges. And is a misdemeanor as a minor considered on a background check for college? And did I buy and do drugs in high school? Duh. Doesn't everyone? In a legit manner I hope so- this is not legit. I don't want to stretch it and say that everyone in high school does drugs in certain areas as it pertains to corrupt undercovers and arresting officers and judges and the parents write it off as just something that happens or know what the deal is or not... I don't know. I'll say that as a homeless person and a person with a home I could be treated the same way as just a person profiled at the King Library. Yes, there are library's spread out around- but who works there? I'll say that I get suspicious when a non-profit worker has a gmail address for her email... do they have a separate work email? I don't know. But I'm unsure how my HIPAA rights are protected in that instance. Here i (I just fast forwarded my Youtube music from Drake- it just so happens I'm more bitter about not having a cell phone then the fact that he's black. Naturally, now a white person is singing. I think, is mike posner white? or is that John Legend? or is that- I don't even think about color when I hear music. I didn't know g-easy was white. or at least in the music video he is- I was like wow. Never thought about it- didn't care, but I just thought about it so here it is in my blog.) There was smoke or mist coming from the fucking flag poles today outside of City Hall? I mean- is the Pope involved somehow- cause I don't take it to be a smoke signal or anything other then 'that's weird.' I watched the news in jail- it was the local news, the day I got out... it looked like a bunch of fake green screen none sense. Isn't that funny? They can make people appear out of thin air- but have a fake news channel.
I argue I've met people of all walks who are like, who cares? And I'm like- I am! I am? Ok, so only if you are in on it does my grammar mean that much to you and how much I think that depending on someones pupil size those people in the sidewalks could appear and be one way or another. I ain't trippin- if you think I am then clearly honestly you could be someone I'm talking about. All this money that this fool is talking about being wasted on drones and sensors and tha fuck is a solid state drive- and my baby didn't get into his college of choice in his home state because of this being a factor and or the profiling by, well hell I already knew they was corrupt but I am a white dad who can speak proper English and right it and care vary much about keeping the ones who don't know out of it and the ones who do working to make America greater because I've never been to (Migos is my nigga- eat your heart out drake... Handsome and Wealthy. I mean, hey- in this place you can be handsome and wealthy and without a phone.... whether it be free or not or paid for by taxes.) Hey Palo Alto! In your hood they don't have a 'Cash for phones now' both at walmart, but they do have a 'keys now' one. The Palo Alto vs San Jose. Oh but wait, I'm a hot computer geek and unlike Britney who is in control of her real dogs for security, you have fake ones in your your yard form some crazy ass alarm system so who cares about keys. Opps, Now the dogs are people and walking down the side walk and talking to people and each other and the.... no, stop there. Is the research from them interacting with each other taken into account into a separate system with artificial squared intelligence information.... and the mom in the ghetto is like, damn--- wait, what is a ghetto? Next year, he's going to wear his Birthday Suite and be like 'Suck It.' Get it? Get it? IF this is as closed as you think it is- watch clueless. That girl wigged cause honestly she may have never been on the freeway and that's scary- but, anyways who they were (oh fuck- Drake and started form the bottom just got my attention and so did that boat of a car/Bentley) raising money for- so I just googled where pismo beach is... its in California... I was in my thought process going with a foreign country... but not. Checkin myself and going to pee! Damn it, I missed dinner. I mean, the 'Come on Vacation- leave on probation' is a real joke about this place. The people that live here don't associate, work in offices with inclusive cafeterias and the few that get or have gotten caught up now or did fly in and out sometimes daily. Turns out my transition from traveler/travel nurse to staff nurse and having a stable home etc is turning out to be quite a journey! I can't stop there- cause just like with my social worker and her saying these meetings we go to and learn about the process are so false, yeah, imagine spending a year in jail (not my story) and finding out the same thing. It could be such a reality fuckwith mess on top of spirit crushing. Oh great, now he's blaming us for peoples spirits on top of empathy and I still don't know what that is...
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