I...

I... meant it when I said that thankfully I was there today in the EBT office at the Re-enty Resource center to tell someone that they should be able to get their food stamps same day- only not in this county for someone reason unbeknownst to me and is totally part of the reason I am right in my crazy roundabout way of blaming the authority figureheads and their cronies for everything.  A judge I heard got so mad he threw his crack pipe at his boy toy for not showing him my blog sooner! Sorry, for lashes after!  Ha!
So my presence in the EBT office led to the front lady scoffing off like 'Oh fuck, what do I do,' I'm sure her boss gave the approval after recommending that they miraculously make room for the man do that I would be like 'Oh wait, maybe some people do get same day appointments or oh wait, maybe things are changing?'  No fool- you're not fooling me or my medical social workers.  It's beyond my control to do anything but blog about it.  OK, so Camp David may or may not be here- if so, I'm sure the other government workers or protective people are allowed to vacation with and or around the same area... it makes sense... I've lived where some days celebrities walk around by themselves or their friends and no paparazzi bother them... like they are one of the regular people.  How does it not make sense that it would be the same for the government people.  I mean- no one has probably thought of it that way... Ah ha!  Now I am furious that someone is still reading my screen- who cares.  Well, if this is in and or around camp David then I guess the person who should be off duty or is one of those robots I keep mentioning.  It isn't hard to imagine- think of it as a House sitter- I robot that can clean, dog forbid you have a dog because a dog would hate that robot as does the dog who hates the irobot vacuum of anyone who has one.  The dog has a sense of loyalty- the robot i a red flag for 'that ain't right- I don't get it, I don't want it to hurt you- therefore let me bark and warn my master because I, unlike a cat- will not eat your face off if you die.'  Arguably that is why a dog also barks at the cat- because it's friends with the robot that... well we all know how that movie with Will Smith went.  Sadly, I think that him having a robotic arm speaks volumes to why there is a sequel that may be the nightmare I'm living in.
I just explained it so well to another patron at the library-good thing that there is audio and visual that will have it put into someones hands that only makes the equipment as good as the person operating it, overseeing it, or maintaining it.  Meaning, that could easily be the wrong hands as easily as it could be the right ones, as it goes up and down the chain of command.
On one of the light rails (no I like to railed hard) see, hopefully the snotty asswipe that's too good to read something that foul puts down the paper... unless this is the 8th time someones asked him to read it and he;s the one who didn't refer me to the THU and so he throws the crack pipe and picks up my paper.  Then, realizes... oh shit, this fool could be right- only I didn't know it was that bad... and hey, I do notice something is a little different.... Thank Goodness every thing has to be accounted for here as to account for the inevitability that they are discovered as to validate the validity of what they were, are, and are failing at doing.... so he threw it in anger but is now also thankful that he has me in his life because even he may or may not have known what was going on.
I don't buy into anything... not here.
My friend let me borrow a hoodie one time- she and I neither one paid attention to it... only that I told her later that I feel like people are giving me snarls and mean looking at me.  She said, Oh, did you have that same hoodie on (I was wearing said gifted hoodie.)  I replied yes!  Duh, I wear it all the time.  At the time I lived just down the street from Levi Stadium- rivalry can be a hell of a thing.  Especially when you shop on a gameday sunday.
Thank goodness, after that I didn't even care- but it... I do feel the need to justify myself because I am so mad that this is going on.  I need to and am going to report the arresting officer for sexual harassment and press charges.. but I am putting it here in my blog first because I literally think it might be impossible to do.
I don't care anymore- this is my story and my life, and I know better.  So the person I got drugs from here used to ask why I didn't go out and do anything or whatever after... well, that's because when you aren't around or when the drugs aren't the bunk shit from Santa Clara County it's more about the sex and fun and whatever else... he then told me oh, I like to go shopping or blah blah blah....  Mind you this is someone who is in on the whole crooked cop, under cover, informant nonsense.   It had been a few months and if my incentive theory is right he had only gotten out of the deal the 'perks of the job.'  He wanted the actual payday that was due to him from the City- but he doesn't get it until I act6ually get caught up in the system.  Which I am now in- if you think about normal places- Fire, medical, and the police come in some kind of order.  Not here.  Here, I was tagged and then strung along until after being put in a medical emergency situation was then placed into a cop car- I called 911 myself and told them i needed an ambulance- but in this system was tagged as one of the people being given bunk shit and to send police and not an ambulance- that led to me being held in jail over night and then released.  Sadly- the people here are stupid, and believe in... I don't know what they believe in- but after being released (which had it been under normal circumstances would have been the withdrawal time and time for me to get back in touch with my guy and get high again only for him to again alert the system that I was to be 'his' again as a way to start the whole process over again.'  Instead, he knew I was leaving- his desperation to get paid and not be a failure at his job increased as did the ratio of good and bunk.  Are you following me?  So if you know my story you know that I then tried to get the hell out of town as was planned only to not make it- I got dehydrated and attempted suicide.  *I argue that even the nurses in jail know what is going on because they tell you to stay hydrated, and check your blood pressure all the time when you first come in to jail, in some situations for some people that are or aren't tagged in the system.  A similar situation happened- only the guy had a seizure and fell out of his bed in jail and had to have a drain put in his head and then a shunt placed.  This is where my theory that it goes all the way up the chain of command comes into play.  I am not saying the child who committed suicide was on these drugs- but it speaks volumes as to why I am telling my story.  I know that had I been successful in my attempt my mother would have not forgiven herself (I hope so anyways- lets just go with everything being a normal world).  That is not her debt to pay- in a system that I hold responsible for that kid on facebooks suicide- that mom may or may not have any idea other then her own self as being at fault.  I am the one saying their is more going on that affects everyone- in so many ways.  It's not my problem... well it is if the city has been doing all this behind the scenes until it rained and the sewage and water systems made shit run down the streets.  It was like the cruise ship disasters you hear about- only wait... if we spent all that tax money on the water and sewage systems what happened?  Oh wait- all your money is going to these behind the scene antics that are further increasing the gap of disparities and raising the level of need and corruption in a city that's running out of resources as the world calls bullshit.
This is my story- all I know is even my medical social worker who has seen some of this first hand today said, 'This is amiss' when we were trying to figure out where my 'free' phone was on the website provided by the company.  Is it a coincidence?  Does she have the power to bring about the attention needed for change and justice?  I don't think so, and I hope so- but just in case and in the interest of learning from history and not letting it repeat itself... I give you this-

p.s.- I've written like 4 drafts of a letter to send to a friend in jail- and I can't get to a stamp or envelop.  Even my EBT was stolen and after having it reprinted now has Zero dollars on it when there should be $166- sorry I have to write down my PIN and sorry that I don't have a phone to report and file a claim for it on and sorry there was no cash aid on it yet and sorry for.... Bullshit!  Yet, Marco at the re-entry center asked me yesterday about my application for cash aid... he doesn't work in the EBT office.  And today Marco also told me that I could go there everyday for food.  Bullshit!  Bullshit!