I smoked a...

Cig and omg- I was like stumbling.  Like those things are potent... and yes I am a light/lite weight.  Ask any crna that has ever given me something to make me a little less nervous in pre-op or going down the hallway and they will vouch for that shit.

So watching the devil wears Prada at the library... omg, can we say that I have eaten an onion bagel after having literally never ever wanted one... in jail in Milpitas/san Jose in the Elmwood correction facility.... I got a fucking piece of onion stuck in my teeth and literally could do nothing but drink ice cold water for hours and hours, like there is something to be said for nerve pain... dunno if it was m y mandibular, which is a terminal branch of cranial nerve 5 or your trigeminal nerve. Speaking of jail- I noticed today that Folgers coffee is $1.29 for 7 packets (or seven packets if I'm in an English class) as opposed to Starbucks for $6.49 for eight.  I mean- I will never ever get this Folgers crap again because of the association- sorry Folgers.  It's so good, I recommend it highly.  But, damn bitch.  Oh geez- lemme say now if I end up in jail again, please let me bum some if you have?  I will be thankful- this is more of me just being bitchy.

Call Donatella- get her jet.  You know what’s annoying about that American crime movie about the assassination of Gianni Versace?  I think we did it outside of the statue of when we have to pay her money for telling the story of how her father was shot outside his Miami home.    

So I do buy lottery tickets- Bridgett jones did or does it so there must be something there... I am sketchy so I do love scratchers.  Can I be very honest about something though....? I hate that this upgraded 'free phone free service' phone won’t scan the barcode.  For those that don’t know if you don’t win anything- you can win like a free ticket or a some dollas or the whole actual grand prize or whatever... the point is that 2nd chance not only has been developed to keep track of tickets and money and winnings but you can also win through the 2nd chance submissions.  It's annoying that there is an app not available to everyone that has a function further not available to everyone related to the things available... ugh, I do hope that I win again like I did in San Jose or like that officer that stole ir after he faked a firedrill did.  I still need to follow up about that as if it was a drill there should be something documented from the fire Marshall no?  as I did not see any firemen, man, or wo... i shall conclude that once again the effing cops or officers are effing liars.  my dad knows all about that kind of stuff, the fire code stuff that is- so glad he is willing to help in even that way---- ha i got jokes today.  We shall see.

So you know those annoying yellow things- bsc/tsttw bsc loves buying wine and then having to go over them.... so you know what this right- and this is on a leaving Walmart level or crossing the street or both...

When I was in San Jose- I read in their local publication- not the mercury news... but like the social magazine kinda.... within the first couple of pages they had a section where they would include tweets... One said, 'Keep writing Josh.’ I am curious... but I won't ask.  It had to be towards me right?  I think so... I want to say thank you.  It didn't make me feel like anything more then- shit that was like 6 months ago or so... I mean it gave me courage that got me out of that awful place and situation and home.  So thank you- even if it wasn't for me... thank you to the OH that reminds me I do love wired magazine, but I was thinking of... or meaning to cite/site Metro Silicon Valley.

Last night I was thinking about school... just getting a Judicial Degree, or going to LA film school or something... then I was like, I wonder if you can just get a 'generic' bachelor’s degree- kinda like an extension of high school or an update of sorts.  I don't know- I learned nothing about anything to do with Kosovo or desert storm or Nixon or anything in high school- people reference those things like daily in various ways and I'm like- wtf is that.  I want to go back to school so badly- but I don’t know for sure what I would major in- as I don’t think the above exists... did you know only 33% of people have Bachelor’s degrees?  I mean... that is what I think is written in the Audacity of Hope- up from 19%.  Not sure what the new numbers are as that was written on 2006- or published then..... But so far it is fantastic- the book, not the numbers.  Literally am I stupid to think that like almost everyone I encountered had a college education or something.  I mean I know that in other countries a master’s degree is a duh.  That's the truth... like, that's the issue.  This is the land of opportunity so why aren't more people taking the said opportunities?  Literally, I don't believe in lowering standards but I do believe in assessing why people don't or aren't or can’t meet them.  And I think that is a huge deal with college- besides just the money game.

I wish there was like a life insurance policy I could take out on myself.... if you can get a life insurance policy for $100,000 when you die for $11/$12 per month- why can’t I do that now.  Like, why can’t I take out a $100,000 life insurance policy on myself now to get back on my feet?  It would make much more sense than getting on ssi and having to take affordable housing and all- I’m not saying I don’t need it because I do however I think there are a lot of options that I have that others don’t being that only 33% of Americans have bachelor’s degrees.  I do realize I'd be getting a loan to pay the payments with the money from the loan and that is part of what crashed the housing market- lending people above the value of the home with the good faith that they would use said money renovate it or remodel it.  But is it really fair that not only is the system broken as stated by people way above my ranking in making those statements- but now I have to not only become a  victim of it but rely on it and wait on it and then also in a sense- the money I don’t care about.  like I do feel like getting ssi may or might or could or will keep someone else form getting it... others will say no or that’s stupid but that’s just how I think.... and it does literally apply to the affordable housing and apartment market when in fact there are only so many actual homes and apartments in the country.... ya know.  But at the same time what else am I to do.  Create a business plan for getting my life together or what all I need to do and what to do... like I want to write a book about things I learned in jail- like a not for tourist book kinda.   Remember those?  Or something.  But I don’t think I have the experience for that but I literally just walked to the water fountain one time and got in trouble over walking behind a co or deputy.  He was like doing ever does that- I was like do what?  Get water. He was like no; you don’t ever walk behind a co.  Just like you don’t ever walk up to a co with a full cup of coffee or really anything in your hand...  truth.  I guess someone has thrown something on them before or something... I don’t know.  The whole flushing the toilet thing and the only two flushes per 30 minutes... that resets after 5 minutes.  So you can flush the toilet am every five minutes... and it never be limited.... I think.... I didn’t try that like if there is a max per hour... but I am at least a two flusher... kinda back to back.... but instead I learned to wait five minutes before flush two and then I could have a after another five minutes.  So stupid huh?  well, it will or might keep someone with ungrateful parents from getting their ass beat or killed all so their parents can get insurance money from them... roll your eyes baby boomer and I’ll ask how medicated you are.... all this shit and crap people are on... its literally like we are taking away human emotions and empathy and caring.  I hate to say we are doing to ourselves through just living a real life- and I’m not trying to take away from people who have problems and are handling them... but there are some that are just victims no matter what and those are the ones I worry about.... omg my kid got suspended or having sex with another guy in the parking lot after school... what have I done to deserve this?  Ugh, not... omg junior- is you ok? Let’s talk about it?  Do you and he need the house to yourselves tonight while your father and I busy us or something along those lines.  Like, are you going to have trouble at school now, if you do I have zero tolerance for anyone hating on you for being you- so if something happens do not worry about what I will or am going to do but tell me regardless.  Do you feel like other kids do this and you were singled out?  Etc.