two factors without a phone suck...

i still haven’t purchased a fragrance- and sadly now need a new iPhone… (no, i have no issue with that statement…)

Today, I’m wearing a mask because your worth is worth it… and yes, for again my minority family members and my minority loved ones…even though I hate this damn thing and it is making my face break out and making me fidget and my anxiety a little more active then usual… thankfully, my anxiety isn’t connected to my gut or it could be a real shitty situation- and that’s the truth though.

okokok so I have to let some people in on the masks- the best are the ones with the four strings.  Like you may see me sporting here on out if the supplies remain consistent and my will to go out in public remains steadfast… so you have the four strings- what I do, is I grab the mask by its bottom set of strings and because of practice I sort of know where to grab and tie.  If you don’t- bendable bar to thy nose and press to fit the contour from the point of the v to the wide part of the v of your nose…. Omg I know I know I want to be speaking of the v in my abdominal region however, its still there and I still hate it.

okokok so it may stay there it may not after you then use the other non dominate hand to grab the bottom (not me the mask) and open it to the press in part of your underjaw.  

okokok so yay it should look something like a bra cup to be honest… you know where the boob or like cup of soup could rest… 

okokok so then deep breath, put it on your nose and hopefully, breath being held and smiling and laughing to a minimum this is serious business I say, as you may look as I did for the majority of the day- sketchy as can be…. So hold airflow- in or out really is overthinking the situation but thats only because I don’t know the answer…. Okokok so this isn’t a new paragraph only a convenience factor that the okokok started a new line… so it should rest on your nose maybe with your head tilted back because if you try and look in the mirror while you do this you will fail possibly and end up with seven years f bad luck so if worst comes to worst do as the legislatures are doing at my recommendations and putting hands in the pockets and I get it- but seven years is a long time and honestly we are all broke financially or fiscally so no need to dislocate the writing utensil or communicate limb that allows for bitching via electronic mail…

okokok bottom two strings to the back and not too tight- this set is to the the ones that are able to be like the letter of my name josh in reverse depending on the side- see I tell you a mirror and you could be…okokok so tie. no, don’t take the mask off and do it that way omg… thats then going to have….a actually do it… ill say at the ned of this what will be the issue and we shall compare answers and or answer and reality.  

okokok so I do the x thing or the first step of tie-ing shoe laves- I know this whole mother effing time no one has actually aided in the teaching of this so…

okokok so then I cheat and do the one loop and the pulling tight.  But then today I was like, omg my friend-nope.  Omg my friend- nope…. Omg my friend- nope…. It was the bloody string thats longer randomly brushing up against my neck or back or omg… so- that being said once oeuvre gotten it correct the strings are really easy to un-tie as to simply break them to be shorter… no ump needed.  Just grab at the knot et al and then grab with the other hand as close as can be and then pull- a funny face makes the mask fall but its tied so…

Okokok sip of coffee….

Okokok I need drop caps to be able too be copied and pasted in to these apparatuses I mean really I am doing a true service here

Okokok so this one is the annoying one… its the one that will make or break a glasses persons day in a manner of fogging… ugh.. and not to mention halitosis and then eye balls- like that can’t be ok…

okokok so just go bologna patch or then just below the question mark esc curve we all have and do the same and then shorten the same… seriously today at one point I grabbed the excess or slack and then pulled a loop through…. 

Okokok so did you tear the mask trying to get it over your head… no worries.  If you don’t tie or pull to tight as to save that frustration or energy for the communicative legginess to then be sent to the incumbents keeping money from people… money meaning, food, water, sugar, cigarettes, gasoline, electricity bills, lube, oil changes, air filters for the forced air machines of central air… I don’t know why but really to identify stupid is truly taxing enough… but then fo that same poor soul to then have to figure it out… like to figure stupid out… lemme think… ummm a problem as in actual our mathematical… not stupid…. But to then try to figure stupid out… what would that….see I still wayyyyyyyy back and over there.

Okokok… so the ears and the elastic ones- or stretchy ones… who’s getting the sore ears?  Ok so that can briskly turn int o mesa or a staff infection.. or just. Bait of a red tinged grudge against a mask that has truly done nothing but be utilized outside of its recommended factory parameters of use… so again for the incumbents…

So thats why I utilize the stringy ones but honestly whatever keep you with it on- for me, for you, for another, for someone who could get sick from all of us not doing so… now is not the time to rebel or the ‘i got rights’ insult to us all thats as misguided in todays reality and actuality as it is funny in the cinematography in which I’m referencing.   :) 

Smile- at least all the teddy bears of the… I mean tough guys and thugs.. of the world can do so without someone like me looking at them like they hung the moon.  Im for real though… 

make sure and up down side to side and then around a bout and then around a bout the situation… if its uncomfortable now it might not be in a minute or it could really be in a hour… so… just please God remember enough lives have been lost in regard to the virus and pandemic… hey, you sir, over there… no texting so no mask timing while driving or speeding or bee bopping down the road please… no need to risk an automobile collision or a another’s leg or femur and fido or kugo and your privilege to drive over a $0.74 mask… promise?

• I think is how I started this sentence, but that’s incorrect- ii know, ii know that not having my prescription eye wear is like affecting my overall state of being- and thats fine- if the person who possibly has the false sense of power over me in holding that piece of material close to their sense of self feels something… perfect.  Hold on to that and leave me the eff alone.  Okokok- sorry to start off with the like superficial side of mental health when things go to shit but oh well… no worried things don’t get worse form there… promise… it think we all agree that the situation above which is possibly also my actual reason for getting beat up the other night as well as my actuality is enough… so there. :)

I'm trying to like do better and edit and today and yesterday I noticed that something is different with the autocorrect or something (oh you wish- I've been this nightmare of a consistency for way to long…) … because I have the documents saved and yes, open a new one almost every time I start whatever you call this… so… anyways I’m quickly overviewing and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich… it not cut like triangles, its in half and its wonderful… if there is one thing I'm glad jail and the last couple of years didnt ruin for the rest of my life like soup is its a pbandj.  ugh, after eating soup out of a can cold with a plastic whatever was on hand or available at the time or moment for so long… it was heavenly and just what I needed then to get here- siirrrrrr I saw that eye roll in regards to the misoppurtunities but thats jus humor right?  Not like your… ugh see there you go personalizing and giving yourself away…. You really do do it to yourself sir…anyways…

• yes, ii’m still in the works of making all this better and creating justice in the injustice… ii had the worst dream last night… I was sitting somewhere and overheard someone say something about being modest about pulling the pitch’s motion card or also then holding the courts accountable for not honoring the right to a speedy trial (i see you august 4th court date… at 8:30am in the criminal courts building or ccb or like the one that you down to get to… like you know the one…. The one with the walkways and like I said…i can’t wait), which I asked for specifically.  Someone really cool once said, ‘we don’t speak in cliches here…’ and it was like what’s a cliche from the ground up kind of natural…I do it all the time but in my dream I said there is nothing modest in the law or law, only justice where there is injustice.  Kind o makes me sound like a douche bag- and I'm trying so hard to be able to accept compliments!  I’ve had a chip on my shoulder all morning about it… and how long it takes to do anything- patience didn’t get us to the moon, didn’t get us penicillin, or a petri dish, a Bentley, a Bentley SUV, apple products, pink lady apples, domino’s pizza, potty training which we all appreciate individually and collectively… so being patient or having patience can be just as harmful if not more harmful for yourself and others… like, hello- patience and a statue of limitations….hmmmm.   
• Pitch’s motion- check the spelling but it is where, if the judge allows it, I know I know, why wouldn’t they but anyways, the arresting officers backgrounds and complaints are brought into the court room… I mean they speak to my character just for not wearing a suit and tie… not to mention my past cases or criminal history… it only makes sense and I wish I could make it so that this was a standard or core measure that must be met- every case, every person, every arrest, every ticket, every time… no matter what and idgaf. :) 
• Your right to a speedy trial I wasn’t aware was optionable… but again to be further sought out the truth on august 4th… I'm excited but terribly nervous as I currently am further from suit… like last court date to this one in regards to clothing… doesn’t mean you have any power over me…. Just to be clear. if you requested- being that that public defender didn't allow me to see the judge that day or go into the court room we have a severe situation so im just saying- it is thirty days, and its a part of due process I think or who even knows with these jack asses…. But its supposed to be that you go to jury trail within thirty days of arraignment.
• Would the above be a conservative perspective or a liberal perspective?  To be honest and to be authentic… I don’t like labels.  And thats not slander or libel…. Ha!  And I didn’t bash one or take a side… ha!  
• So one more piece of me and then I’ve got to get real… Canada’s government has decided that their citizens are hurting and are in need- so they are being supported by there government financially in the amount of $8000.  Just because I'm feeling sassy and all haha… let me be real and say- no sir, I don’t want to just ‘why don’t I move there’ the situation and allow people to suffer and hurt here in the manner in which you are recommending with that ignorant ass ‘well, why don’t you move there’ statement… sorry I am not my own worst enemy but I am my own best devils advocate…can’t in my right mind think of who wouldn’t or doesn’t need money at this time… maybe I'm just tripping, and the only one needing some change… to think some of you are ok with holding a grudge against those receiving public benefits living like 400 percent below the federal poverty level or whatever and think your bank account isn’t the root cause of that rank coming from that situation then hopefully some money comes to us all again very quickly so that maybe allovit can get better … but okokok, for every time you didn't have a dollar or every time there was a pair of fabulousness that you didn't purchase or for every time you saw someone siting on the sidewalk holding out a styrofoam (thanks Siri no wonder a product that spelled in such a way isn’t biodegradable….geez) cup and felt a certain type of way- be it about the environment and climate change or the soul who wanted to purchase a cup of coffee and couldn’t…. Write to your incumbent and ask for fevered timely considerations… like I don’t demand or whatever you read in some of those ads… its rude and not polite…. And even I get a stank face over that situation.  
• Hello- democracy are you there?  Why are you allowing the egos in the senate to do what they’re doing to people?  Is there no real opportunity for someone to have the opportunity to then not be harmed by someone in the government the way in which is happened today by the senate… the united states senate… not the States one… or at least the California one is right here with me being like ‘thats the truth though!’  I see you two snotty ass people in this emade up positions within the senate that aren’t actually part of the US constitution… I see you trying to make discourse within the states as in the legislature and the executive branch bumping heads over a situation that you’re stoking the fire to… stop it.  Yessir I will Valley Ho this situation all day… like, do your job.
• Where do I file a grievance form… look now I be like ‘i have rights!’ Trying to  exercise my right to bring manslaughter charges or something equivocal against the senate majority leader and the senate minority leader… ugh, just get it together… Beyonce…. Ms. Carter or Mrs. Carter… I need a god damn… like can I gettta god dammn?!
• It is indeed them that are responsible for the hold up right?  yes… so what do I do about it?
• I am like about to cry- you know someone like me applies their efforts to filling out all this time ass concussing paperwork online and shit- all these tax dollars fly here and there and yet not to me but just right within reach, and then these nonprofits be trusted or skeptical of your not trusting them and then wanna again withhold benefits and shit you qualify for…. like, august 4th, I see you… nut yeah right when the ssi doc is supposed to arrive or the debit card is to arrive all of a hellova sudden you're displaced and all of that effort and courage is then….yeah, there are truly evil, not powerful, but mean and ewww types of behaviors and oh what’s that called conspiracy… yes, thats it…- then stupid ass people wanna make it so that all that is for not… ugh.  
• like, Mr. Governor- I know that things are real and this is real life- but when you’re in a position as I am in… where there are literally options coming and going that have no blank on the form but greatly impact the form…and then people at non-profits that steal your bus pass and then another non-profit thats affiliated with them that tells you ‘oh, well..’ In regards to the dollars and dollars and dollars someone like me spends to then go to and from more potentials of the same shit… and that was like in December and January… to now having hands put on me, and before that my iPhone being stolen and the nonprofit that it’s through telling me that because of covid-19 they aren’t able to help me acquire a new one but if I get one thats unlocked myself then it can be connected to the number in which my ssi, ui online, and every other something to make my life better is connected to from the last three years or so… like, what am I to do?  Not to mention that things like prk exist and then I read online that there are beds available, like, there are beds and yet, here I am… just waiting… and waiting and waiting… as my life ticks ticks ticks away… Im personalizing and kind of getting pissed off that in this life there is still a possibility of someone saying to me that I am being lied to or dooped and that actually being true.  It’s 2020, but I guess with the other things that have been thankfully uncovered or found out that it's not surprising… I just know that someone at the housing agency I am a customer of or a client of or a person seeking help says please advise.  I did finally look it up and apparently that is a police term… and I be like ughhhhhhh.  
• Lemme find out, eh…
• It wouldn’t surprise me, I mean think of it, confidential informants are like everywhere- its dreadful.  In the streets looting during the demonstrations, in housing thats for post incarceration to make sure and keep recidivism rates high as to speak to wha ta good job they are doing… don’t mention that the ci spoke badly or disrespected someones family that they just got back to and thats if it wasn’t a confidential informant that got them arrested in the first place then the fact that it could have been a few or one confidential informant in the jury box that then rendered the guilty verdict that put the person behind bars in the first place wether miranda rights were heard or not… so the issues I'm having are a bit out of the ordinary and peculiar to me and to others- there must be a not logical explanation… but a reason… aug 4th….
• Do you know how stressful it is to sleep with a bunch of people you don’t know in a room… like, I know we all fart, but still, it makes me uncomfortable and makes it hard for me to sleep well knowing that should something like that happen others will hear and then who knows… I realize that I'm not the only one… yes, I'm thankful that I can say I love your opinion…. but, is it happening where you live and or does this type of humanity even exist?
• Im so tired of being told that I’m actually being gotten one over on- like, what does that even mean?
• Ugh- I haven't forgotten but i haven't found it either… it was something about me worrying about myself, like why don’t I worry about myself instead of others and then sassy came to the table and said something that was like shocking… ill keep looking…
• The UK is building or has at least pledged to build 6000 new homes for the homeless this year… time frames speak 
• I want to speak to my insecurities but I refuse… the loves of my life are very sturdy… so there… no, in person!
• like, two factors and no phone… suck… bu tall of this and it was still a good day and the supreme court did landmark some equalities, my glasses come friday, and ¡in person…! And can it pleaseeeeeeeee be soon!  Pleaseeee… like, the greater good or the whatever is like…. Im over it… I got beast up, still don’t have a fucking phone and have to talk to the cops and ughhh like a hug. And I have to have a partial and like omg…  of course I haven’t because Im not trying to worry you but pleaseeeee