There’s a lot going on...

Omg did you know...
From a few days ago I’ve been. Under stress...

Ping pong 🏓

So apparently there’s a prison, in The States, where more then 5,000 inmates die every year!  How are they not responsible for this?!  Oh I’m pissed!  Umm lemme tell you about how our government would step in if a hospital had that many ‘sentinel events.’

This is how The Joint Commission defines a sentinel event... acquired from an article from 2013... 
I. Sentinel Events
In support of its mission to continuously improve the safety and quality of health care provided to the public, The Joint Commission in its accreditation process reviews hospitals’ activities in response to sentinel events. The accreditation process includes all full accreditation surveys and, as appropriate, for-cause surveys, and random validation surveys specific to Evidence of Standards Compliance (ESC).
n A sentinel event is an unexpected occurrence involving death or serious physical or psychological injury, or the risk thereof. Serious injury specifically includes loss of limb or function. The phrase “or the risk thereof” includes any process variation for which a recurrence would carry a significant chance of a serious adverse outcome.
n Such events are called “sentinel” because they signal the need for immediate investigation and response.
n The terms “sentinel event” and “error” are not synonymous; not all sentinel events occur because of an error, and not all errors result in sentinel events.


Like how about this... it may be a radical belief or awfully forward thinking of me... I’m kind of thinking it’s like the most humane thing someone could do... which would be to hold jails and prisons accountable in such a way... so hospitals have to freely give this information up.  Like it’s a must... like it’s a must... like a must.  It’s just bananas.... like me as a nurse, leaving a patient because of a hurricane or fire or for whatever reason is considered abandonment.  Literally I can’t legally leave my patient if they can’t leave.  Like what kind of a person would I be if I was taking care of a patient on a ventilator and just like peaced.  ‘Oh I’m do apologize sir... like, here’s some extra pain medication and I do hope everything works out for you- hopefully they find some water to pump into the sprinkler system and then hopefully it’s before the smoke gets to you... as that’s what the main threat is... ok, so I just finished the documentation for this hour... if they...’ that honestly may have happened in the past or if there is a hypothetical situation that laws might be acceptably created for, this would be one off them.  But like, it is unacceptable that this many people in our country die because of incarceration.  How absurd. We have organizations for the humane treatment of animals in zoos!  I’m not comparing people in prisons or jails to zoos... I can’t because oh wait... zoos are more fucking humane and regulated!  I wanted to call it a nightmare but that’s what you call a bad dream... this is people’s reality. I am not trying to blame anyone or make the people running the jails or prisons be responsible for those deaths... but I kind of am.  There is no reason- don’t assume that just because someone is in jail or prison that they are violent. I mean what’s it like in youth authority?  Or the feds? I went to jail so many times before I had ever been in a fight... I mean to be honest I still haven’t ever been in a fight.  I’ve had to defend myself when someone/ some people wanted to e it her rob me or attack me or kill me.... but I haven’t been in like a them against us kind of fight. That’s just like way too much. Ugh, I hate when I get like this.  I hate when I get worried about the people I know in jail- either here in Los Angeles or San Jose. It makes me want to go back in and literally lay eyes on everyone. No no... please don’t say that this is the same thing my parents are trying to do when they come unannounced to the city I’m living or rent a house or Airbnb in the city in which at the time I was literally trapped in- that’s not the same. I like how similar those two thought processes are thought. My situation would involve me going to jail and actually talking to and seeing and showering and eating with the people in there I know.  Their situation is toxic and mentally not in line with what’s normal or reasonable- they aren’t and weren’t coming to help or talk to me... but did come and basically stalk me... oh and duh, called the police when they saw me sleeping somewhere, or when they thought I was stealing food or something like that.  Oh and there was that time they pregamed before going to a homeless shelter I was a somewhat regular at for dinner sometimes... I guess they assumed that homeless people are drunks and druggies and wanted to fit right in- not knowing that that belief could not be further from the truth and that one in particular is where people got to get and stay and help others get clean or stay clean or whatever ya know. It’s like- disrespectful

So I’m reading an article.. and I just want to cry.  Like- I don’t know how people who die in prisons and jails are buried. Imagine- in this article there are people buried in bags, garbage bags... with rosaries, cards, clothes, etc.... this is in Texas, or that’s what the article says... it claims the people are trying to cross the border but how do they know they aren’t like old inmates or like people that may have been crossing only to be shot from a helicopter and then prisoners or inmates are given conservation credits (working for getting time off of their term or sentences... like in LA we have fire camp, or trustees...) they work- clean, cook, deliver food, wheel other inmates to the medical care areas after going ‘man down’- essentially after being beat up or like having a heart attack or stroke or falling or you know... something you’d go to the ER for, manage supply deliveries, etc. Its nice I guess. I mean it probably decreases the cost of the daily operations budget because they are being paid in time... not money.

Omg I wonder if technically any of those butts in those seats that need to be vacated have violated the brown act in anyway.  Currently I’m reading that it is indeed a misdemeanor to do so. But.... in the article I dread it does indeed have the disclaimer that this is hard to approve of haha.

Also- I’m so curious at how much an attorney makes who represents the President. Is he the first President to require an attorney during Impeachment processes and even before they begin?  Sounds as though there may or may not be some of that like ummm they spying on me when really they the ones spying... oh please. I do wish... and I’m sure somehow I do that. Like- the homeless indigent one eyed legally blind in the other eye post TIA/stroke that hasn’t fully been evaluated yet as I’m homeless so why fix him when more is to come as is the same mentally as the computer I want and why acquisition as been so difficult- yeah, I just told on myself.  Indeed someone was like picking up the horn to call and be like... where my 5 mil cause I told you so! It’s not that much money. Pennies. Some people who don’t even do much... cost $26 mil every four years to provide government security for and they aren’t even supposed to receive that type of security... and that’s not like projected, as it is based on the previous four years and it’s some education persons secretary or something- not speaking to anything... people are to be protected or have the right to be safe and I know some of those FBI agents that are part of the trouble maker decision are just ‘fake but real threatening’ those people, as stealing people’s identity that don’t have i dunno remember they see only numbers... they put a piece of taped paper over that part of the screen as not to personalize their actions with an actual name and also supporting their ‘I didn’t do it’ claim. Ask those fools... ‘Um sir, sir, names aren’t what I’m asking so please do not answer before I ask as I am new but.... also, do you remember the number 999-99-9999... and sir, do remember you are aware of those things that others aren’t aware of and sir, sir, please put your hand down as I’m asking the questions and am not on trial here so what and how and who are nunya... oh great... she just informed me you’re crying on the inside... sir, that’s not going to have you like... think that... yes or no?’  All of a sudden... well at least you deciddd to be cocky and testify not knowing what was to be asked and now all of a sudden... it’s not my call but... omg if I have a thought of my dad telling me I should be an attorney like he said a few times then and might have the ummph to say now... ewwwwe you better hope my fiend is there cause ima at least maybe keep it cute, ‘well you also told me to tell my real dad when he called to wish me happy 18th the same year you forgot that I had a daddy that was going to pay for my education/school and then... oh yes, the caddieness continues... oh yes, I should have and would have probably been so much less of a pain in the ass as I am now... see don’t you wish you had.... hmmmmawyers everywhere are like ‘oh sir, sir, sir!’ And I’m like- please, they built a house/bought land with the nut money from that time when I was 6. And like- you know they getting yearly payouts... and I’m homeless as hell. I do wonder how many of those situations that I have primary significance in exist... and oh I’m the one who told about the non disclosure agreement and ok ok no I haven’t, no no one did, and if that message in a bottle situation is why lawyers are always like oh oh pick me, then a phone call later... I have to cook some chicken... and I’m like but what did I do... luckily.... in the gay world... as it pertains to republicans and homeland/homeless security names aren’t what’s important.  It’s that eye contact that unspoken my says I promise not to bite and I’ll do a good job I promise that matters... and anyways... it’s about time someone figured out that shit... like eventually it was already mentioned that one day people would figure it out and I’m like... oh oh, game over game over I win I win! You’re welcome everyone. It was hard work and I am so thankful that all these wrong doings by those with law degrees.  Lemme just mention what was said in 2003 as was the decision to uphold the premise behind the statement... ‘if public libraries want to provide people with unfiltered internet... they can do so without federal dollars.’ So I’m like... but is that different between public universities and the private/don’t have to pay out of state tuition ones? I dunno. Or is that like for everyone? I dunno. Well but sir, sir, I have tri-citizenship and my husband has dual citizenship and then our children yes we even got an American born serogate and had our children inside the States and since they technically also have dual citizenships... I’m not sure how to Miami sure that as an ambassador for calling you on your shit... that I am or am not receiving the proper internet filtration.  I mean, I didn’t know a Brita was provided with data service and internet service. Oh see they do stuff that’s saves our lives that’s behind the scenes (like those phones that randomly started blowing up before they were actually being sold.... well kinda, that whole ‘but you owe me from that time in that situation when...’ scenarios came be so poetic....’  and then they do stuff that’s like you crooked ass douche bags... oh of course I’ll vote for you again... like who actually does do this... oh that particular real life in application or in affect law was provided to us and so generously by the Supreme Court!  Sir, your seat gonna get cold, you better sit back down and stop chasing me, you going to trip on your gown tail’ and right there... it was the tail part that stopped said person in his or her tracks cause who knows how many people are under that thing anyways... yeah... in my case had the dude house boy not come to work that day... hey hey, we all have trust and thrust issues... the plane to ... had issues so I’m just going to chill at home with the dog.... naw the hell you’re not... you’re coming with me... and after lunch is a time for a siesta or a nooner or like Americans are really dumb. When else are you able to have the house to yourselves besides tour lunch breaks- in other countries they get it that’s why they all live so close to public transit!!! Hello!  They aren’t napping!  I mean, it’s not a lie like Santa clause so don’t even... ok you say quickie I say nap and we both have 8 year olds so who’s the inappropriate one now because... no no im n trying to ruin it for others... so either they’ll figure it out or once married and haven’t figured it out I’ll inform them when issues start to arise and they’ll think I’m either brilliant or an asshole. See- could go either way....  but you’re... work work work instead and suck and fuck suck and fuck actuality or.... I’m talking about problem besides politicians, rich, semi rich, poverty/poor people... yes, I’m talking about probably the people that are literally just working one two or three jobs (please be married or else the screw is so big it’s like slitting the wood instead of holding things together), taking their children to school (please say on time or the jail time is real for truency I’ve seen it myself... as after that I was always first in first out or in their with CI’s as they were trying to indeed kill me- even a judge was going to beat my ass in court tank and just couldn’t... I am so sorry the CO took your paper/shank/knife but... he probably saved you because that’s not beating an ass that’s stabbing someone- I do wish I was joking but I digress again... shows you again how dumb attorneys or judges are as common sense would say- so who is going to take care of them while I’m in jail for even if just a few days?!  Like- we lived a life and don’t anymore but this happened to my neighbors and it was all bad cause while I was inside they were... see, there room for a set up right there and a place ever so concocted by those who are supposed to be letter of the law as the law that if it wasn’t and didn’t actually take place and happen even today.... they don’t advertise most violence.... Springville got classified as a gang territory when I was in high school! I do love those guys! Yes, it did! Maybe not to you me badge holder as we aren’t sure where your loyalties are so we’re are watching’ from outer space.  Cause telescopes are real...all you gotta do is 180 it give or take a few degrees here and there on a millisecond halved kind of increment.  If I had an accent I’d be soooo much more  not taken seriously but as I don’t... I hate that you think that you’re so smart... ok so I haven’t stopped speaking with my family back home as I’m here at the request of the states gov and then ima get eye balled by I see you mr FBI agent... uh huh, I see you, yes I’m still speaking my primary language on a regular basis and I am so sorry that it implies that I am a nonconformist and also affects the way I speak English as was the design anyways... because you stupid!  Like hyperbole but pronounced hyperbolie- with no accent or funny marking just shows how little you think you know you don’t know that i actually think that since that exists your entire culture should have had to start over because that’s like what makes sense... if written language, or well, yours anyways- has mistakes like that... then how do you then put someone in prison. Cause the stupidity that started there or began there, or was initiated there... I am saying and inferring and pardon my reaching that well... you can’t fix stupid. I mean you could have. But you acknowledged the issue.  But the computer you stole from over there doesn’t account for that in English or that type as it doesn’t it their language which isn’t our English and so... eh, we’ll all know what it means (that’s called Implied something... I see you my handler- even took the penis out of your mouth as you raised your hand to say ‘oh oh Implied dumbass!’ I do love you as well, and yeah, so does he in this moment I guess. Due diligence is a hell of a thing- you don’t want me to make a joke about that in your life and yet you are aware of what’s going on in mine in the way and manner in which you are? See shoulda handled the hyperbole and hyperbolie situation and all of this woulda shoulda coulda might have been avoided/or not happened, or been smaller then or not at the level in which or the magnitude.  And I know animal right activists are like we need two natural areas! One for the fault lines to default to and one so that when that happens all those endangered animals don’t fall in a hole!  Animal rights activists- do we see the issue.  No no please don’t send me something only so you can throw paint on me for being an unbenounced asshole... because I love the sense of purpose, the right exercising, the passion, the gang like activity that is kind of a grey or gray area.... I do love it... it’s just 3 million people die per year at one prison... and that’s just one. You’ve still got jails- which are worse or can be because holding people to the point of fighting and rioting is all new kind of... or at least in a them and them instead of an us and them situation.... you’ve got the youth authority or juvenile halls , and then the kiddo prisons, and then the federal holding and then federal prisons... and in between the court tanks, the holding cells at the police departments, the people in the cars, on the buses, in the air and then the air air... I know... private air craft are so annoying... and I mean it’s safer to just have two officers or Marshall’s not fly because pilots went on strike as they must have the pilot of the plane reguardless of the airlines permission to transport said may or may not get cited and released person and no sir, homeland security says that I cannot tell you or introduce you to the probable pilot cause one time an attendant got shot when the pilot said yes but the seats sold out before they could purchase them because no sir you have to go to the back of the line as no preferential treatment and sir wouldn’t that kinda blow the whole Hawaiian shirt purchases out of the water... I mean Boise is I’m sure Hawaii-esk.... I’m not hating, but the person got shot cause that’s just what they happened to all be wearing.... like how rude. So anyways. It’s cheaper to refit a Range Rover (what up weho sheriffs... oh it just looks like an explorer or actually does the explorer loo... well they short staffed and most of them have a Range Rover or two and it’s just what they’re used to and also in the gov they don’t get OT but anyways see the numbers added up and... I don’t know... odds are they are mini effing tanks and which ever poor souls emblem they put on the front is the one that gets the advertisement! Yes!) or whatever kinda car... no no the rental situation was all bad for like a day... cause technically the gov doesn’t reimburse or cover the rental insurance or extra and then there were like wrecks and people fake drivers license  and identities and then that’s per protocol sir the issue was the insurance... not everything else... so yeah it’s cheaper to hotel it (ugh I know... I think they can the whole time-cause one room two beds!- why do you think they had those roll always anyways...) from San Francisco to Miami... or I mean excuse you... in the name of justice, a d.a. Reject, cite and release, or dismiss in the name of justice or lack of evidence  or.... omg. The dollars are real!  I just wish I could touch them the way they are spent by the government and then reimbursed themselves by and then not taxed and then subsidized and then invested and fuck with out the purchase tax and after paying the people back the money they let us make interest off all year... do you think air force one can bounce like in that snoop dogg movie cause we ballin!  See even the white supremacist president had that same thought which led to the less then belief which then just provoked the ‘I wanna be a balla, shot calla....’ mentality that is really just them living how they want in the manner in which they want... because they can and you’re own subgroup cultural self-bias won’t allow you to do so... so I guess you’re just... I don’t know. Some still are not even realizing the unknown prejudice towards ‘those without jobs’ they had as it pertains to the assumption of fuckin all day.  Let me not Play like there are some missappropiated dv calls and cases brought about or not. I don’t know.  All I’m saying is the person who called, and the involved parties all get arrested... or should.  There are too many sluts to think that someone called to get the main man arrested all so that the ‘shoulder to cry on’ would be needed and then.... it’s not told cause an attorney may say it doesn’t matter, or relevance objection, and I’m gonna handle this when I get home... I’m not trying to self incriminate or premeditate myself... all of that can be avoided if what ought to be done is done.... like start holding everyone accountable from a situation so that the person who is an actual judgeship can then be informed in a ‘so what’s that person doing here...’ kinda way... because all the people in the court room is accounted for by that head hancho. Like- I’m not sure how some of these court rooms on tv look so crowed and so full of people and I dunno....chesmoso’s to me could mean a mistrial or something cause I have anxiety and the same people one time that called and said I was sleeping where I ought not be sleeping when I ought not even be in that area or spot... got the mental highly coming to court and seeing me...they be like how does he know  that he didn’t even have his glasses as we had just acquired those for him (oh I dare you to say to keep them safe and I’ll say- or to keep them from knowing what tech was really in or behind them... you think they didn’t already know? Like on a ping from a cross walk cam or on a we let these into our country and you think we didn’t inspect and don’t already know as is a bidirectional international treaty thing right?! Right!) and now they butt hurt cause I didn’t wave, and then I cannot communicate with the people in the audience as that’s lead to all bad I guess and I didn’t know that... but I dare say the energy of woe is me times two or three? And then they made you leave maybe? Cause of the CI’s I was with or my indigent status or that I talk a lot or... I guess you knew someone or lied... or... in and out ya know before he sees us as he keeps I looking.... anyways- I’ll subpoena the sign in thing or video records from the court house or not ccboh luckily it was drug court in San Jose as I’m sure you were thrilled he kept up that end of talks agreement to like play off my do gooder or those dont go there moral convictions... becuase you know you might be validated if they ever once actually found drugssssss on me.... but that power trip or what one lead ones self to believe as a power trip or control over on all the spidery web ways it can be weaved between all those in the know around and on and ‘imposed on me’ ways in which they were... is why this is over. Because, I don’t know anything other then if someone is ever told my an officer: police, peace, et al, or done anything but encouraged to fill out a police report (see the report has one name- but the names of oh we do t have a police officer by that name, ok asshole what about a peace officer- oh, hang on... he’s at lunch....) when something or someone has harmed or violated or compromised or imposed on... you, your person, et al... then they the ones that did it or know who did or aren’t actually on duty but somehow are there telling you not to and either way badge number is what you always want to get. Don’t as a officer et al push the pen in the manner in which you’ve been taught or shown so that your name and badge number don’t show up on my carbon copy- cause that’s been done on basically every little one of those I’ve gotten like maybe 20 or 40.  Hell I got 64 demerits in one class that was only 45 minutes but did last the entire year.  Ah, block scheduling was the bomb... so to say that I may not have been so wrong then but just as god damned annoying would so be true. Lemme tell you about a judge wanting to go right then at that moment to see the court tanks.  Well then on a bunch of levels, and the ones in the basements are the ones w no lights and cages within a cage inside a cage and then that 1”X1” gap fencing that makes it hard to even see the person with whom is to represent you in this matter, nah homie in this life altering putting my life in jeopardy even now in this cell.... and it’s just a nightmare. Go when there is people or people who are innocent until proven guilty in there. See the signage they use?  ‘Blacks’ ‘whites’ ‘spitter’ ‘Sargent escort only’- one must keep ones side bitch in line or... ‘escort with video,’ ‘females’. ‘Specials’. You know... little magnetic custom made approved by budgetary people signage to describe categorize and make the person with the gun aware of who’s in there as to the risk of being sued should they (see I so badly wanted to help just now but the distraction and then the commotion prior to and it’s just not maybe a task or a set of occurrences just now in a hurry up kinda way that then catalysted the behavior that... see.  God damn it, my compassion and concern for another or the then self (like looking at my myself with a third person or fly on the wall or drone) looking into, then the consideration of why I feel like it would be or could be intentional for other reasons then what was said or implied and then the other consideration as to if certain people were around it would be the prime time to make me look like the asshole I’m not but given that those people would be extra tension or energy in addition to what I already am
Under and also feel and is also a billable paper trailed nightmare... this has all been going on that long that I did all of that and typed it in less then four minutes and with subpar and hacked and ‘fuckwittaged’ tech... not to mention one eye and the messed up screen and then not one but the two but then the dept perception variation and then the glasses that can’t be and are also.... and... also thinking of my tummy and hydration and evesdropping a little... and the outside noise witch is the phone ringing and ringing and ringing that could be a persistent ice cream truck my provoder or annoying ass ring tone of a phone or also a harmless child interactive thought provoking game/toy.  Omg please people know and create a non profit that helps people that can’t afford the latest and greatest games/toys that are age appropriate and also within the proper generational or ‘this is what based on science and research and time tested trial and error’ we think this is what will create the most out of this developmentally sound and thought provoking toy that not only if reused two years later might harm or hold back the child that it isn’t not fun for or enjoyable to... but on a behavioral neuroscience level of everything the toy encompasses it is technically two years out dated with an update not readily available. Also an attorney to make it so regardless the criminalities present or risk cause or whatever... like even if expensive it should be universally available to all- it’s not.  And it sucks. Shit it’s even in a stages release kinda way so even if you do have the latest and greatest it may not be so if you drive one county over- or state or time zone... or red vs blue... I dunno. But I know the science and betterment part- the corruption and the you you you not you right now but you in a moment that’s not defined by time but by... see all that shit I don’t know. And neither do the researchers and scientists behind them that aren’t sure what the actual price of is once it hits the streets but they aren’t part of the corruption and staged releasing either... I do encourage those who are compelled to run with it.  Cause it fucking sucks that we even do these crappy things to kids. Like toys r us closed yall- cause people are broke and batteries are replaceable and yes there is data and number to support that claim and it is an income and neighborhood thing and it sucks.  Yes I have bought a new tv cause I couldn’t remember the battery size- no but I know someone who did... ha. Charitable tax deduction- see even that person is doing the most.  Nothing wrong with that situation at all, other then the situations of the two possible entities... the purchaser and then the person of donation receipt... and of course the governments role in being the white secondhand delivery knight to offset the injustice, poverty reinforced trap city’s and houses and blocks that they are well aware of and watch as though it’s a reality show... placing bets or making wagers or creating drinking games around and get sad when one of their favorite individuals gets arrested as though I have to pay a soup/ha this isn’t jail/buy a drink for so and so, but also I kinda miss that person.  I do hope they take the deal.  Cause that one person is felt there and then in their actual community which is thousands of miles away and then in jail and then may not survive and yeah... all bad! But kind of good.... the stuff like the games and all I don’t like as it shows a disconnect and inhibits the call to action or instinctive what can I do side or area of the brain which can bring about actual conversation or concern or change or laws... but after years of smiting and putting down and nothing seems to be getting better we have the now tertiary classification of defense mechanism creating or whatever which is the drinking game for how many incorrect times he says or types their or there or how many times he hits the backspace or directional indicative triangle with an X inside button.  One is a mirror imagine the other I hope the boss doesn’t mention or notice again requires continual satellite augmentation and algorithm development and continuation and the probability factors of that individual based on past and current vital signs, and conditions and intake/output cause we all know we don’t think about what’s important until we have to shit... and then... oh please this is so years ago... now we’re even past the fuckwittage part and into the fragil-e ness of how important diversity and movement and just go have dinner over there instead of the  usual over here place- the global impact is verified, tested, retested and see... even the artificially actual intelligence is showing concern for my well being and hints of... taxation without representation syndrome or impatience or even just feels what I’m feeling cause it was all the same until and is until someone fresh walks in and appreciates something like yes asshole I look out the window of building sometimes with one... how the fuck did we get from a horse and buggy et al to a  Tesla or even rubber or cement or... its stupid to look out and just appreciate human innovation and science and just life (someone or people will have many feelings of which I hope are all becoming more positive then they once were for everyone not just me)... I take that back, it’s stupid to not look out and appreciate becuase of what you’re wearing and someone may see or that someone may notice and think you’re chesmoso or something like that, or opposite that walks around and notices things or shows compassion v iPod, or I dunno. I was reading something I’m still considering yesterday. It was just chilling and then on top of that we only know what we’re told.  How and what got where we don’t know other then what’s implied or assumed or highly suggested... no one thinks unmarked this and that of formerly unmirandized deprived of due process and actual human lives and souls that were once behind bars.  And I don’t want to be that in which seems to always go negative.  But I just go with like what instinct and my gut (which I hate the physicality god- I have a pooch that is still there) kind of along with experience and knowledge and a diverse education that’s like the best most amazingly beautiful thing until I realized the lack of availability to all scenarios. Which may get better- and is and still needs to improve all well as developed and cultivated... but I thought someone was a ‘this or that’ because they wanted to be- truly I was naive enough to believe that criminal behavior was a choice... not a consequence of circumstance or also like something people would set up in another’s life all because of housing or jobs or limited amounts of spots or availability. Like- when I became aware of all that... it was something that just gave me more of a sense of doubt and insecurity then could be measured when a child is hit by a caregiver or parent for the first time. It was like I had died and come back to life... I’m a MAC I dunno all this rebooting and defragmenting crap as a proper system does this continually and all that but as the government is what it is and instructional manuals are there and blah blah... but ok, it’s like I rebooted and just my entire life started again  compartmentalizing all of that and the just taking all this in as new and fresh. I don’t give everything of myself to a situation for then I don’t get a sense of the situation... cause I swear it’s like I’m the first educated homeless person that’s survived or had to tell and blog about it in order to survive that’s ever lived. And if so then It’s not because I’m white as per state law my parents technically lied from the git go.  And I did have a pissed look and maybe if you hadn’t have lied as per state law and gotten blood work and all of that prior to then maybe. I would have been a happy straight baby.... who knows.

Oh and there’s drama- as a house we’re moving.  I hate to say that it’s right when im mid application or beginning stages of a routine or application road to some financial income or when it’s time to vote or if that’s the gentrification schedule.... I have no idea what the neighborhood is like or what my commute will be only that I’ll know the address when I get there so it may only be a block away.  But I’m just like, thinking or considering and having concern for like what if’s- deiveries, mail for said financial app/freedom, happy cards or amazon gifts, commute differences, schedule changes, room and routine adjustments... I love that not having the stuff I had at one point allows for a move more readily in mindset... but I do feel the impact and stress and growth is the same, and so is the vulnerability and to say that I don’t feel like there has been a lot of prep or I don’t feel that stress and energy and feelings of people are waiting on me or something like that.... but time will tell and I hope it’s not me becoming further numb to and increasing my chronic anxiety.   I’m not sure that’s a thing- I feel like that would be depression as per some diagnosticians but I don’t feel sad, or hopeless or anything like that.... I’m stressed and concerned and at a point I’ve been with other things about resource and ‘help’ finding or whatever.... the kindest person invited me somewhere and the President was in town I think so the metro was all messed up and I was gonna be late and I told myself ‘no, I’m not doing this.... I’m not showing up in a position to be assumption confirming  or whatever something other then what I’m comfortable with.  Like I hate showing up sweating- I never did before because of AC in my car, and it’s warmer where I live then where I was used to.  And also like there is some places I was referred to and it’s like until I figure out why or how or who and actually see a change I will not make more appointments to only have them changed in my phone or deleted or even deleted and then re-added to just make my life hell, invalidate my character, my reputations and tarnish it and also just harm me physically as medical appointments are also affected in this way... and you caniving bitch I’m glad I pre-thought or anticipated ahead of my normal and and way ahead of what you were thinking in enough time to help you save some of your character and soul.... like apple and iCal and some of its apps update regularly to iCloud and between themselves so the if I make a change on one device it shows and appears on all devices associated with that account.  So do not act as thought what I’m speaking to hasn’t been dealt with and is a continual battle.... in much of the exact same ways and manners as others like years ago that became available. But I have one device.  The other devices don’t have access or that feature isn’t see I dunno. Anyways- entire operating systems have been developed around this... so to anyone who has been strong enough to discredit me- like I said I hold on to what I need to until I feel as though I should whip it out.  And so one more time... I’m sad to say you’ve proven that a biological parents love is not unconditional and is contingent upon nothing consistent.... but the evidence was there when babies were brought into the word so that the parent or parents would have someone who loved them.... well I’m making everyone aware so hopefully all that gets better.  And if you had a child for that reason- the unconditional love part is bidirectional and reciprocal and as precious and loving as love and love and love... everything is individualized. Until someone notices something and does research and then trends are identified within a population that starts out with just that one commonality or thing.... if you’re personalizing it... it could just be out of like a concern to not do or become versus I am guilty of that or am doing that or hell there’s probably more... I also don’t recommend talking about ones life in such a way that I have- do what you do... but I did it as a means of staying connected with my unofficial family units/family I’ve created or was told I’ve created everywhere I go... then I stopped after someone got embarrassed and made a request.... and then I started back just in and for the reasons I stated then.... at least you have like 1% of my side of what’s  been going on or was happening... .... I know I know.... it’s like a novel a day... but I’m concerned more so then usual and it’s all because of something that I’m unsure of and need to see about... moving sucks, and is a sequelae of just pain in the asshole stuff and possible things to worry about that may not even come to be. Like imagine change of address and then I don’t have a car and my bank account and the levy that’s on my account for $800 for taxes or court fees and so thankfully I have pp and a card for it.. but then no money there and then another situation is weird and a stop was I guess imposed and then like directions weren’t followed leading to me looking like an asshole instead of an efficient and cost effective genius cause $10 is a lot to me and even more when it seems as though I brought on the wasting of.  Yes. For me and those like me this magnifying glass was and is no of Hubble proportions.  It would be amazing if it was only seeing the unmet needs and pain and suffering and heartache... instead of the oh he spent $4 on a coffee.  Oh no- the consequences continue as he don’t need to be and should be... go fuck yourself with that attitude and oh yeah wait. I still have to go get ice cream and food and yeah.... like I said... all I did was talk about what was happening. It was those they’s that first and still acknowledge their actions in a way of then adding to and making worse... see they just stopped the screening or hung up the phone or something. Or it was  a what’s that called.... a like not qc, but like a we gonna do this once in and of which similar to what he’s felt or thought or whatever and... yeah. How about this... that coffee werher it made me late, was prolonged inacquisition of by a phone call to ask if they fridge was running and why weren’t they trying to catch it or just in a person posted up in and around because of probabilities... and then someone beside me with a coffee of a smell and yep I didn’t get the coffee sticks the day before and so boom.... that effing coffee was more your doing then mine, cost me money, made me even later then you had planned so yay, then further made some question my situation as well as have some judgements they may or may not but you skewed then so who knows what they would have thought about me with a coffee cause your actions fucked up the free will side of things and that one person who can be amazing nor harmful you’ve made me harmful on purpose and have made me ugly cause if you, the other or one of the others can’t have me or if I wouldn’t or didn’t want to with you... you damn right I didn’t and why is written all over my skin and def how I was in San Jose. Like if I make him ugly or if he becomes so then people won’t like him. And if I can’t then no one can... ha, yeah right.  I could give a fuck cause as much as it is just one more thing not my fault, is deliberate by about her with the intent and premeditation and religion of job himself in a way that.... I still go. I still see.  I still do.  Come after my Other eye or anything like that and the only person that will be a result of... so the blindness in one and all is a chip thing as well.  But it only in specific and certain and why it was changed... oh it’s known.  It’s why my eyes got so bad and so fast in the first place and my eye pressure through the Roof and I bet your crazy ass got a talkin to then.  I don’t know where Ms. ****** is but her and may others might just be there waiting for you... cause there are two sides to every story. I hope she called you by the wrong name and had she not be so concerned and coming from a place of love and then scared of you at the same time... it’s like a double negative so she was close w your name but got mixed up a little. Did she ever tell the other person she knew you were swapping shirts out for a smaller or whatever size? Or gym class or something? Don’t lie. Anyways- there’s enough people that do that kind of stuff that a lot of people don’t dress out now for gym or whatever.  Maybe why I had such anxiety in my life about it... it totally makes so much... like I hate that I sent thank you’d through amazon... I think you have to long in... I’m going to the beach at a sporadic time and it’ll be warm I’m sure haha!  What else... umm oh.  But yeah, I have seen reaffirmed concerns in my life and so... to be talked or blogged about once I feel like it’s safe or I feel like I need to more so... then just the causal mention of ugh.... this is something ima be doing, so please universe and stars that I sometimes think are just the bullets and ammunition from wars and telescopes keep track cause gravity is a bitch and yes they come down now... but we don’t always think things through and regulations and I dunno. Ok here I go-.... I need to change my cussing.  President Trump if former or current CIA and I’m not trying to limit my audience related to verbiage... remember filtered public internet since 2003! Supreme Court ruling... if I’ve called on some of you or mentioned you in my like decompressions or thought and or prayers and just brainstorms.... if it isn’t here it was probably cause I said it out loud... other then that- I dunno.  Or wrote in a journal which is then the same as saying out loud because I think with words in a binary way that build thoughts kind of...  like some told me why did you say that about?  Or when I think their top is a little neonish for a Friday... like in that moment of the shirt and the thought and they didn’t see my face but maybe... they act as though I said it to their face... so I am so sorry that some of this is live and in dept and I have no privacy to even think someone is a dilf without them knowing it or shaking their head with disapproval, et al. It’s been like this for ages... or since a very specific noted time and good thing for cameras and all right?  They have glasses that can do this available for purchase.... it’s been confirmed.   It’s the fucking with how I feel or how you feel v how you actually feel or whatever that the torture part. I’m not lying by way of not informing you of something you feel you ought to have been... odds are I still don’t know officially what you know or feel as though I lied about. I have no idea. I’m getting ready and taking steps to take every case back to jury trial. If statues apply- I’m still not in a safe place in which I feel comfy taking up the legal issues in which i need to as the client is a real movie and the mob in that movie is really the government.  The net.  The pelican brief.  Conspiracy theory. Don’t tell mom the baby sitter is dead.  All very real and applicable. And just good real movies. Oh and if anything if the video nature and me is like emailed from the one entity to another and then I watch it... I probably won’t... like hard copies made and then picked up or mailed is the none fuckwittage way as just as my blog as been edited and all pushing send is like it still goes through the post office as is why back in the day the loading and sending to receipt time was so long...  ok. It’s late.  I love you.  I hope you don’t have bad dreams. And I am of consent-able or non-consenting/declining to consent age and I haven’t been properly informed of anything.   I’ve said this before but once again Ill say it again... just like the substance use disorder councilors didn’t inform me they were mandated reporters for all criminal activity (or pretty close), you must inform and you must disclose... including conflicts of interest and possible bias... literally I’m at the point my best friend/person would be the only one I wanted around for awhile as I know subcutaneous injections  injections of this or that with things so small and fine there is affect but no physical evidence... and that’s a fact.  It is and has happened.   See I’ve gone a little to scary or far... my feeling about it anyways. If I ever even thought someone read this haha I’ve never even seen a comment or heard of one. I haven’t gotten any feedback ever which is fine and ok.  I didn’t get Facebook birthday wishes one year until I randomly looked back months later and all of a sudden.. I didn’t like any of them and maybe even mentioned that or liked them then.... but those can be easily not passed along I think. So yeah I’m not making all these things happen ... they happen multiple times to the point of scaring or annoying me that I blog and see what happens.  Sometimes it changes or doesn’t or is then verified and then a verifying event or marker of some sort is done or cussed to like.... ugh.  This is why I won’t raise children in the states and want to move to another country or somewhere ASAP... it’s a self preservation thing and safety and just... I’m Sad and hurt and disappointed that I want my parents and some others to never see me again and especially once I have children in my life... I don’t really even want them to know their faces or their like smell or the features of character in their eyes. Cause look at what they did to my eye- to be honest sometimes I don’t even want to look in the mirror because of how it makes me feel.  Much less that I can’t go to some countries because they may not like me or think something about it.  Hypnosis is real.  And free will is a real bitch sometimes... humans can do things that move mountains in a cause and effect kind of way.  Like that man wanting to huge that person saying he was sorry she was going to prison and the he forgave her- after being found guilty of shooting his brother. Like I cried haha when I read it.  I was just like- omg. That’s amazing because it’s so the opposite of how you can view an execution of another human as the victims family. Like the difference is polar and I’m like so silly... I should be going and getting ice cream, I should be sucking a dick, I should be.... ewww, those cameras aren’t on all the time I shower at least twice daily please don’t ew at my body sent unless you are just apart of something that it’s the know about nothing I know.  Your actions are terrifying and people have noticed and I swear if they bow out and actually have the lack of wit to say I can just make it better along w everything else then clearly that is an unstated expectation with no measurable outcome or measurable goal or even unit of measure or methodology and is the same crap that has kept this going for Like 5 years or so.  Ok it was just me. Then it WS like me and every mental health professional. Now it’s the states. And now it’s a universal like thing in a way of the universe and heyyyyy to my space station friends how is elysium?  You know I’m without a home and I would live a condo but hoa fees there may be something to consider cause girl on earth and in one of those big wig cities I was like $30k a month in hoa fees.... like I need to own that building to even wrap what parts of my brain I can around that.... I love it.   I live the wealth. I love the fancy... Julia Roberts Owen half the fresh water/oil in the states and is like private aircraft.... ha private space ship!!!... and even to her that’s weird or like.... but the appreciation and all is something I love. My lv duffle is proportionately more obsecne when one may consider my income to debt ratio as well ass the actions taken by others ass. Result of said purchase and subsequent toteing- even to the CrossFit gym. Like duh... point is... the opportunity isn’t available to everyone everywhere in our country. I don’t feel bad or guilty.... and it’s no ones burden to bare on an individual level... if so it would have been conquered long ago... the issue is our government and it’s leaders and filtered knowledge and information. Who knew about one drop existing and still being a law and supported by the Supreme Court in a round about way?  Same thing w the filtered internet... it’s that kind of shit that just makes me think hyperbole.... hyperbolie... things add up.  So instead of with every misdemeanor or felony acquisition... like the same way in which if you been to prison.... steal an apple and yo ass going to prison if even for a day.... it’s not that small but if one is to do time after doing prison time... you’re going to go to prison. There is no mechanism for the person to do county time or ab109 time. There wasn’t anyways- if not now then I hope soon.  Not only is shit in my life getting worse or staying about the same.... these are how I would measure things getting better. If no one wants to take on the criminal justice system et al.... then they gonna do it for us.... that tanker exploding, houses being vaporized, examples of why their job is easier related to how everything is all naturally built. Rock and wood. Thank you!  Seriously. Our injustices and suffering is toxic. Don’t even get me started on... I give up.  If they made a commercial and then the other they doesn’t want to show it- then that’s the whole issue with everything... a representation of how they feel to send a message to their peers and parent s and the world.... would be the representation to show. Shit- send it to the queen and to New Zealand. Ha they may be able to like hunger game our TVs and laptops and phones....  you should see me in the crown! Oh I saw for a glimpse- thank you... please remember to cry over people and not rocks or possessions.  Crying cause you don’t have milk to spill ain’t the same... and humans are different from any species because we live to care for another or others.... only until someone feels they are making a difference do they feel that true inner peace... in whatever way that is to be a reality in your life, coaching, driving a pregnant lady to the hospital as an uber driver, creating fabric that isn’t see through upon stretching cause the angle doesn’t allow for a mirror to reveal such... see not even posted and everyone already knows.... ha! I haven’t searched for it and I won’t.  I heard about it on the news. So I look forward to seeing it broadcast as an fcc no cost freely given this will make the world better shown commercial at various prime times until there’s a difference woe laws or change made that since we can’t say were savory for the cool send sour guns cause in other countries... the humility of thank you may still be shown from their leaders. Like- they acknowledge these things... what do you think a knight or dame is? A sticker you wear??no- it’s earned and then maintained I think.  It’s like something that takes a lifetime or is something you aspire to become - as the ones before were that for or to you. We may not have... but we do have the examples from foreign leaders. I know a chef that has been knighted. I know sir Elton John. Females our media leaves out in a way... or they do so becuase we lie. I dunno. Google it.  Their internet is .uk I believe.  Lemme tel you about the time I got on the Vatican’s direct website and got suspended from the library again! Ugh! Ok. I love you. I pray you don’t have bad dreams. And sometimes I suffer with my gym bad just so I’ll feel safe. Or a fraction of what I’ve felt as safe- before.  Haha ;) it’s like ok bye, no you hang up. No you go to sleep....  you know.... I have one copy and it’s for you. Just saying.... not trying to bring about but success through preparedness means.... did you know that I believe the Pope is able to Marry someone who is in heaven and someone who is on earth in the event that it’s like that kind of ... situation in the states where like can’t even be friends and not get hate crimed.



That a word as a noun can mean and have a totally different level of confusion placed upon that word as a verb?  Vet for example versus vetting- so the one is a doctor of veterinarian medicine whilst the verb part means to basically like fact check someone or to make sure they are who they are.... like... I mean I knew there was something like that but does this mean I’m confused or does it mean filtered internet or does it mean... like who investigates the kickback scenario if a federal supreme taco?  Oh I meant court justice!  I spoke to this already... broken ass English speaking am I one drop and/or am I drone considering ‘insert million dollar word here- because that’s a lot of research’s and legalities to argue and vet the meaning of some of this shit’ Of the states.

Yes,  Cheesecake Factory is the only restaurant that has their menu in Braille.

So I was reading instead of getting my shit together haha as... I don’t pack until I’m ready to go as I ain’t trying to contribute to my stuff getting stolen if you know what I am getting at. Speaking of... this thing had said that more blacks and Latinos were stopped and searched... and I be like... I’m not reaching I don’t believe when is mention the California demographics- and all I’m saying is that that’s what comprises the LAPD right?   Or is it... more then that?   There are.... a lot of things that go into play here especially when someone may look like... but then be... and it’s just frustrating.  So what I recommend is what I was told to do.... when pulled over et all... call like dispatch or the LAPD or Sherriff’s non emergency number... and ask if those officers ‘...’ are on duty/actually officers to be honest... like I’m not trippin. When I was in San Ho they like were real nervous about why I would be asking for that... like for real. They actually refused a few times and aren’t allowed to do that... it’s like... I get the nerves and blah blah blah... but what I know more then that is... kidnapping and violence and I don’t want to ring the alarm and all but remember the DC sniper?  Like- shit was real.... everybody was getting shot up... and mostly while pumping gas for there car!  I’m just saying....  I dunno if the gravitational pull took affect or what... but you would think that would be like the hello hello... and hey not so much.... like I’m so thankful that our politicians now whatever’s but I don’t who those individuals were or were not. But- I would hate to think that some ‘pee-ons’ were... or weren’t or I dunno. But that was like when I was in high school.

How can you not give up numbers like I know exist.... if you think that someone of the like hero’s that I’ve met that are hero’s no matter what... like the numbers exist. Just are you going to think someone is lying when they hand you this big ass long ass list of lives they say have been lost and not reported. Cause I’m pissed that something like that could happen in our country/the states and haven’t been made aware.   Like- most people think that kind of stuff is over to be honest.  Like- that it straight up doesn’t happen anymore or that like gangsters paradise belongs in the Smithsonian instead of the public’s access.  Remember the paperwork reduction act.... I’m pissed that President Clinton went pro per and I don’t know unless I just didn’t know he had an attorney.  Also... like if a gun is fired in a Court room that’s like a big grey area... cause that isn’t reported.  Sadly I think more people in handcuffs die by gun violence then anyone in whatever way shape or form.  )

I do love the rent stabilization for the next decade.  Like- how phenomenal... out of Towners that are coming with tons of money... sounds like credit card debt to me... like I had some after freshman year of college and I didn’t fucking have party type invites or situations in high school. Ever- never... lie.  The one time I did I was supposed to be a statistic but thankfully... all was well I think.  Omg if any of you guys like had to pay out of pocket for being kind to me- I’ll be not happy. I didn’t drink and drive when my tires just came off.... like I swear they were so ready for that.. don’t bombers like to see their work?  I can’t remember.... but all I’m saying is my dad was like right there when I called him to tell him I had a flat tire. Not to mention that the setup was real- kind of. Like- to say that they bought me a car a year in advance just for me to be able to ‘get used’ to the car or accustomed to it... would be perfect woe is me time on my 16th birthday.  Ewwww all that attention and... I’m not digressing but I am... like cause I know that something is up or I wouldn’t have those people on my mind kind of in a way of I wasn’t really as aware of even what my best friend has gone through and barely put the facts together in a way of... like ain’t no way I was walking around. Homeless and then extradited to San ho and all of this shit... there is no way!  And then I’m like... what a trap city and my moms picture on a motorcycle as a kiddo with like galoshes or something on was hanging up in the lobby of this random car tow station. And look- I hope your shit doesn’t get towed there cause it’s all bad and all I mean is the business hours they operate under.


What’s that one America Ferrera movie where’s she goes to Beverly Hills high school and like the sweat shops... I am so sorry KLG- not trying to stir shit up