You must first acknowledge, then you....

You have to acknowledge, before you can....

I, of course, follow Madame Speaker on Instagram and there were pictures from Representative Cummings funeral- it was like so real. I don’t know if you could or can feel emotions behind photos- but if you go look at these on her instagram maybe you’ll see what I’m speaking to. It’s like you sense the twenty three (I’m only counting incumbent years in the House) plus years of a working ‘partner in crime’ relationship. I was told that I’ve created little family units as I’ve lived- at work, at school, socially, at home... I thought I was unique in this.  But when I saw the photos I was like- she must do the same thing.  It sucks- it isn’t fair and the healing process though is your own to have to weather through- the way in which you process thoughts about wrapping your existence around the fact that someone you’ve in a sense spent part of your life with is no longer going to be there- is figured out. After doing validated accredited academic research- you have the seven stages of loss... actually upon not being able to remember few I had to look it up and there are five. First you’re in denial, then you get angry, then comes bargaining- this was the worst when I was a kid... like the ‘but what if I...’ or ‘God I promise I won’t talk back to my parents anymore- if you just bring bring her back!’ It’s the worst for me, depression is next- I don’t like that word but it’s when you get sad. I read online that it’s like not only a mindset but also affects your actions. Refusing visitors (I got this from Wikipedia- I know I know, but it does well with this one), not talking to anyone or just being present but not- like absentmindedness to me doesn’t apply here because you’re grieving- I’m not absentminded asshole- I’m thinking of...., then comes acceptance-I’ve never had that ‘it’s going to be ok’ ah hah moment that is referred to, however- the I’m going to move on with them in my heart moment does eventually come for me. It’s good to go through things with people- I honestly even in just writing this have processed some of my own losses in life.  I would go through these steps (most of us have experienced deaths of loved ones before we are educated about death as a ‘thing’ so maybe this just validates your sense of self and also- validation.... it’s ok to make this process your own.  You may take a step forward, and back and forward- the sequence isn’t negotiable... if you go back to being sad and the ‘why now...’ ‘why me...’ ‘why him....’ (this is what I think of as my biligerant step- not really the drinking part but not not really... it’s like the crocodile tears and the racing thoughts and choppy thought, and the all of a sudden that shelf didn’t need to be on that wall step....all of that is like a sneeze, you try to hold it back, and another will come and then hopefully it’ll all just achhooooo out cause ‘I’m not putting that shelf back up on the wall- that’s the fourth effing time today!’ That person and your process for this though the stages are the same- the time frame and way of getting through this just tragic miserable swollen eyes and everyone knows what the hell kind of time I’m having right now vulnerable and.... see all of that is to each his or her or they own.  Don’t believe that someone isn’t experiencing the same feelings at a lesser magnitude or greater magnitude then you are... that’s probably part of that angry stage- you didn’t care about him.... you’re not even sad or crying- your personality type plays into this as well- so if so and so got on your nerves at Christmas.... I hope so and so feels comfort in the company of others like her/other so and so’s. Cause- that pc or filter/wall or whatever isn’t there or as sturdy or even in my consciousness right now. It’s just too much- it sucks. Like- I already and called and told work what was going on- and now I have to do it again and again and.... bereavement- is something that isn’t standard but ought to be. Most places it’s a handful of days... but it’s acknowledging what you’re going through.   Which means a lot. So if Congress needs a few days- I do hope they do so— because we’re not our best professionally.... until we’ve at least started this process... and no, the process doesn’t start automatically or instantly. Like I said, the time frame is your own... but I left that detail out which is annoying. Ugh- I hate when that happens... and see, I ain’t really going through shit at the moment and can’t get all this correct or the way I want it... in a bit I’m going to the market, let’s see how my strut is cause tripping with no luggage or grocery bags or no bags- maybe it won’t abundantly present. But oh well, if it is... hopefully I don’t make this girly ass sex grunt/inaudible cuss word (I wanna say noise but that just doesn’t do it justice...) all rolled into something of a yelp. That’s it.  I know- and. Just after asking for directions, with fluids and a little nosh, and a gym bag and wasn’t even looking at my phone... I had to grieve over the effing loss of my ID that night and all the grief it was now going to bring about in my daily struggle. So- don’t be surprised if you do this, off and on for a year or so... Christmas only comes once a year... but for instance not having a coffee my usual coffee buddy comes more frequently and sometimes at a overwhelming pace. Not having someone to help you through future losses or time of difficulty.... that’s why I finally figured out what works for me...  and to be honest... I ain’t got shit figured out! But- you even have to grieve over those things like individually and in the moment/as they come kinda way... I know, even sex. It’s just like- this would be where the ‘why me...’ statement earlier doesn’t seem so douche like!  The time off thing was thinking of the ‘you’ve got to care for yourself, so that you can be at your best to care for others!’  See, I’m selfish! I told you... oh yes Congress take a few days!  That way you can be at your best in your roles as public servants. See, it’s not for you... it’s for me! (I don’t think this was as funny as I wanted it to be... but in case a ‘you know who/what is behaving and remarking in typical fashion...’. So acknowledge with the self concern, self care, or time off to even start this process.... as if one person asks a question, then probably five others have the same one.... if you need time for this, probably so do others (and I’ll be the asshole and say that there are some incumbents that see this as a ‘something to use for leverage or time to act as they are sad and grieving and don’t have their guards up’ instead of a time for grieving, healing, and growth... and unity or the ‘coming together that happens’.... then you can honor moving forward!

I am so sorry that you all are going through this.

It’s long... like,

Once in a while/awhile (a period of time/for a short amount Of time)...

Omg- I know I’m supporting someone I only know of in media/news from the states so who really knows but... you pulled through even with a black face pic for two decades ago that was like probably the best night cause no one knew it was you and I had a friend supply me with the same kind of adventure so Here’s to you Mr. Trudeau!  Congratulations- You’ve earned it.
• So in The States... there are:
• 2.2 million vacant homes
• Phoenix- 17,513.
• LA County- 12,486.
• Minneapolis- 4,832.
• Orlando- 8,164.
• Just if there is a concern over... I don’t know if they are condos, homes, or townhomes.... however, I do know that’s a lot of property, as in dirt!!!!   Like- hello a little piece of earth ‘the bank’ gets to call their own versus a person.  I’m sure they would at least consider handing it over at a >1% above fair market value as  their is a convenience fee and were trying to increase our worth not stay the same right?  And think about this- none of our banks, besides the one that foreclosed on everybody (ha- the irony/reverse psychology behind Bank of America not being American owned! Ha!) and is also the one that I had issues with (I didn’t even know your mortgage could be sold.... like all of a sudden I’m having all these issues.... I digress.) anywho, the banks aren’t state side... technically Wells Fargo the newly re-elected Prime Minister controls/owns.  Then Barclay is the Queen Mum’s- respectfully, she’s getting her tea back plus interest!  The federal credit unions yes... are state side however- they don’t really foreclose on folks. I mean, they may- but they are franchised individually so one ‘credit union’ doesn’t equal all or have the negative consequences. Ha the millennials be ballin and gonna hit the conservative baby boomers right before they retire! I mean, I agree, if the bbers/conservatives/the you can’t sit with us about to retire group would change their nasty ways- then maybe this wouldn’t be for their own good .... god I know, it does hurt me more then you because at the mercy of nature those millennials will take care of you guys regardless if the shit you put them through.   Like- that’s all I’m saying.... ugh it’s like sometimes I think actions are based on that belief... maybe in the next generation it will be more of a bidirectional relationship versus the older generations creating a world that has humans having babies in a blessing kind of a way.... but also, how many people have you heard say ‘at least now I have someone who loves me.’
• (I wanted to say that they should change their attitudes- but that’s not really for anyone to say about anyone.)
• Omg-so I was thinking about all the pressure I’m under and was like holy shit.   Can you imagine being in jail and having those that put you there maybe not in the proper manner and maybe not with that process... what’s it called? Oh yeah! Due Process... anyways but it’s just one more method of coercion- oh hey, that birthday scenario was enough I know... girl I walked out of my house with tears in my eyes that morning as well... but imagine being behind bars calling at your regular time, excited cause you lived to see another phone call time and maybe didn’t have a rougher then normal program day.... but no one answers. So you call back- again, no one answers. Then you thankfully have just gotten a new phone card- so that crisis is averted until your friend tells you that your mothers et al and children are in a border camp- where they haven’t even started hearing cases yet and no, he doesn’t know the number but will get it as soon as he can.... if that isn’t coercion I don’t know what is!  And technically that should go for the immigration camps/border camps.  seeing who was putting money on peoples books as you must have an Identification Card even though paying cash. Then you’re in jail still Pretrial or in the feds still pretrial... or whatever- just more of a reason to take a deal or give in to their crap. I hope it’s gotten better- in California we voted, I think, to not do the bail system anymore as its considered coercion (the practice of persuading someone by using force or threats).
• If you have a person you care for or about or even intend to as an attorney make money off of... I do hope this helps.
• Did you know in jail you don’t get fresh clothes to wear daily! This is one of the things that made me not think it was real... like how do you lock all those people away and then give them fresh sheets, clothes daily, go to the dentist, doctor, exercise.... I can’t imagine... yeah I know me tooooo... (since I don’t know which one to use I’ll just make it so you have to know that I meant the correct one)... like you wash your clothes with you in the shower with you. Then air them out!
• I know you lost vCard.... and I am so sorry that society puts the pressure on you of you’ve basically ruined your life, you’re gonna get pregnant, and.... but don’t feel that way. There are, at times, situations where I wish I could say that if I meet someone... I would only be theirs... and I am and would be kind of even now... but it’s a something I apply to myself as a damaged goods way of thinking.... before all of this I never would have felt that way and maybe when I’m not in a situation of turmoil and a semi constant state of anxiousness or chronic anxiety (whatever I don’t know if that exists but like it makes sense- maybe we are adapting to the anxiety which sucks. But maybe it’s not depression it’s just chronic anxiety!) Like- people may see me for my scars and feel however opposite of how I feel... which I feel like, dude as much as I know we could be and all, I’m like used, abused, and at times just plain irrational, and I get concerned about people and things I don’t need to be like the library suspensions....so just keep looking and you’ll find someone who doesn’t have all this baggage that will fit into where you are not as strong as you will them in a better way... I’m not worth whatever I knowingly or unknowingly will bring into your life.... but you have to make the decision as you are the alpha ya know.  (See I’m not all fun and laughter all the time- I have moments when I feel as though I’m what was described above- and I’m leaving it though I kind of want to take it out so you can see... or what it shows to me is how quickly I can get out of the sour ass low self worth mindset. It’s not place to hang out and have a coffee or even to just nose around and see who else is there.  No no- whatever your process is, mine... being that I’ve grown up out of the loop but yet with it revolving around my bologna (ba-loan-ie) patch- just for me phoning a friend isn’t the answer and even when it was more of an option I didn’t even want to dwell in my own mental sorrows that long.  Like- we have a depression medication called... latuda... like, the fuck- here o latuda for your attituda. It’s not funny, it’s not, but I was semi taken back by that name and I was like oh no girl, gotta let me go, gotta let me go because this is the ‘he didn’t get it after that....’ landmark of a commercial.... figure it out in a sense of a feeling word....(oh, one of the greats in my head) or words.... this great (not in age but in mental ninja abilities) likes three feeling words...so in that you kind of also are acknowledging... ok, I feel this way, that way, and blah about this circumstance/situation/crock of shit that I’m going through.... now you’ve created a box of acceptance around this in a, for me in my life, allows me to feel as though it’s contained and I can come up with a solution though it may not be the right one as time passes, I hope you feel it’s the right one at that moment.... like bad grades- though deciding more study time is all you need may feel or be right for the moment and for like the rest of your life... or as grades and classes keep getting higher in number- my actual grades didn’t!  So eventually I added a study place that wasn’t a library and wasn’t my home and didn’t have a television or cute guy I could.... let’s not play like I ever moseyed off in the library with anyone with this out of the loop life I’m living... so a place that I couldn’t daydream like I was moseying off with the guy that just walked by.... I was at a coffee house (drip coffee is reasonable- and they had real mugs!) which is why literally I spent entire days there sometimes.... but a lot of consideration and factors went into try that solution because the test was coming no matter what—- Don’t ruminate (like- you’re not curing cancer (has to be a difficult thing right?  Probably the most difficult thing...oh god climate change... those damn bugs are biological warfare and I won’t speak differently about it. Duh) you’re not thinking so deeply that it becomes overwhelming.... it may feel that way.... and if you can’t tell I’ve been there... I’m kinda there now trying to put this into words that make sense and make a difference. So- not even summing it... go, see, do, prosper!
• Can we all be honest... like, we all know ain’t got shit to do with the new iPhone 11., well maybe- imagine Gwb’s surprise when Ashton’s wiener was the background on Ellen’s iPhone... hey... don’t swipe right, don’t swipe left... just look at the picture! Ha!  Or it could have been a vagina!
• Wanna know how difficult it can be to remember to take that little foot thing to the shower when you’re not in a position to just leave it in the shower cause someone might use it or god knows what with it. So try this- take all your shit out of the shower- maybe like in college or whatever, towels included, no toothbrush, toothpaste, deo, contact solution, glasses, face wash, all of that... has to go to and from with you... girl your make up gotta go too.... now figure out what and where all of that should be or go in your room and life- which is shared also.  And you’re budget doesn’t necessarily a lot for things that would make that situation easier as this should only be temporary right?  Now you have 30 min to an hour to get ready... you have to wear clothes or something covering the entire time and also foot coverings or something... so if there is back and forth it could be all bad... someone may slip and fall from your water or.... literally try it! OSHA is the one that says you have to wear shoes. What else- it just going and going.... now get ready... are you a my socks have been in the same drawer in the same spot even when I travel kinda person?  I’m not hating on you for having a life in which allows for that sort of thing or the fact that you... I don’t know you I don’t know you life.... but people with these types of life’s just don’t understand because well I would never be in that situation.... I didn’t think I would either.  But then, remember the person in the room with you isn’t your best friend, or person you’ve known for ages.... it’s a random stranger you know nothing about. Ok fine- you’ve stayed at a hostel, well technically you all have international plane tickets and are in that way of thinking versus the getting my shit together kind of way.
• Just so I don’t  sound like a douche bag.... I’m warning you I might sound like a douche bag but I hate storage units.  I mean literally, they should call them ‘about to be without a home units!’  Oh, and here go you some tape and boxes just so your shit stays safe until you can’t afford it anymore- then maybe you’ll have some nice enough stuff for us to get a descent auction price for and also we will still take that to collections and decrease your over all morale with life and satisfaction.... and if that’s not enough! We may still send you email with special offers and rates just to remind you of what a bad person you are and the whole scenario of the one taller kid being not so nice to the smaller kid by holding his toy just out of reach every time he jumps!   Or the dad that has the kids hand and is like, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.
• I digressed within a digression.... but here’s more cause then that show will then be put on a network, which will make a godzilliare out of many people who work in and around that tragedy... oh wait, except not the person who’s actual tragedy it is. Oh but wait, if they do break that person off a little could someone please let me know as I’ll go get one Ta Day!  I’m for real doh! I swear we are the only country in the world that has storage units... and maybe not, the wine ones I kind of get but and true wino be like- ain’t uncorking my shit and then recorking it or swapping it out!  Ain’t no body drinkin my shit but me!
• Oh oh! So a man walks into a bar... orders a shot of etoh.... he notices a fly in the glass and asks the bartender for a new one.   A man regular walks in same scenario... and a fly again is in the shot... so he removes the fly and throws it back!  An alcoholic walks into the same bar as he’s a regular also and the same effing scenario happens again... the man picks the fly out of the drink, looks him in the face and says ‘give me back my etoh!’ Ha!  Shit, I know a few accountants that would do the same!
• Omg I just passed another ‘about to be without a home unit’ and this one has vans ha!  Yes, please do establish a ‘working relationship’ with us so when you can’t pay your bill anymore or find a ‘better deal’ somewhere far away and have to make one trip... then we get to really create a show there cause ‘bitch it’s been 3 weeks!  The hell is my van at fool!  I don’t want to have to report is as stolen but I’m going.... ok ok I’ll call you tomorrow!  Ok, have a good day now!’ Knowing the whole time the person is now probably sleeping out of the van or uhaul... and yes, people do do this!  At a staggering occurrence. And no worries- the shows around these nightmares are indeed now to the point of re-runs!  Just to increase the likely hood of someone you know seeing your shit being auctioned while eating their dinner! ‘Girl, omg, no this will only take a second- I just saw ‘so and so’s’.... no not her! The other one! Oh you know.... ‘so and so!!! ‘Oh yes, it was indeed the louder tone and higher octave that made me be like duh! ‘So and so!’  ‘Well, I just saw her shit on that show!  The one with the storage unit and the auctions?!’ ‘Wait the what??!  A what unit?! Girl I live on 5th ave you’re gonna have to explain-‘ ‘oh you don’t know what your missing not living out here! They have thee things where people who have bought too much or are trying to hide there porn collection from there kids hide their ‘do not touch’ boxes!’ ‘Ok- and they do what with them?! The repo them? The fuck is that..... are they mobile? Like a car or something?’ ‘Girl no! They I don’t know?!  I guess the verbiage is weird as is the situation and the entity but... girl, ‘so and so’ got one a few months back and then I don’t know what must of happened but that was definitely her ‘new new’ I got her for her wedding! You know, I outta call her and tell her if she didn’t want it I would take it or give her the receipt!  I mean I still kinda wish I had purchased me one as well!’ ‘Yes, do that!  And maybe ask her what in the hell is going on...’ ha!

Public Charge Article

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/11/us/immigration-public-charge-injunction.html

Thank you! 

It’s because...

Maybe I need...


So the ‘Public Charge’ that would affect immigration, or those trying to start the process in the country (this already happens to those starting the process in other countries before they get to our country.  It looked at benefits, chronic illness’, family wealth, as well as potential to become a debt... are you going to contribute or will you eventually want someone in the country as it looks at all potential people you have in your life as a... person outside the country they look at like your parents or grandparents to see what are the financial/that’s all public charge is about. Like- how dumb.... it includes health conditions and chronic illness’ from the financial perspective and also an inherited/possibly inherited illness’ that maybe will affect you one day... from a financial stand point... (I am so sorry the shade is real!!  Like... for real...I’ll explain later..) just know it’s not going into affect/effect on Tuesday....

Ok- here’s the normal antics and rants below.


1. So I need an app for like- bullshit tracker.  Like my bus is always late and it’s... I know it’s hard to acknowledge that this happens all over the country.  It has to- if it doesn’t then thank you for implying me as the bad guy- or am I the one causing it?  It feels like it beyond a reasonable doubt.  I am not happy
2. Oh since the cameras are on and it’s like consuming my battery anyways... could I get like a ‘oh oh, someone is standing in or around your bubble or directly behind you and fucking with your shit or fuck like that one time that dude peed in my hood- luckily related to my... just being like- what am I gonna do?!  You’re right, keep going and going and further reinforce what is the world and what is ‘bitch I’m Madonna.’  Furtherance- ha I’m so thankful I have a... yeah- this is caused by a virus, isn’t contagious, was a furtherance related to ‘oh he thinks psoriasis is like a nervous bones self inflicted shit...’ well here let’s give him a little taste of what it’s like... you’re so fucking in the third person? Or am I actually not looking at a neutral perspective, taking my side, and possibly because you’re... around?  (et al...)  Point is the courage/energy/motivations/drives/et al come from a different place. To have something vs have something just by injury like when you wrecked that go cart that time w the radio remote control right before j went to camp, and then... yeah- welcome to my world, or at least a day in the life of my childhood when I was having fun or you know.... in a situation to accidentally (uh huh) give you your come up.
3. The like cameras in back packs that put like a little screen on your phone or I’m not having it. Like, I guess all this shit exists on the level of... I’m so annoyed with you
4. Ha Ryan Seacrest said it best and all know is this doesn’t speak to anyone’s struggle cause the ‘oh let me cause or be apart of a compromising situation with this person just so Incase with the provisions of the law or what not I can then cause a huge diversion or be apart of that one huge change of history and be a hero within my community of which may or may not include or account for cosmonauts. Over more, do people on the space station get to vote?  If there is a military situation going on then not all of them are military... really it’s just the pilot and co-pilot and then the one.... but like- the message is the same- there are those that have the whatever- and then there are the others that... I think always usually when there is proper communication and personality congruency or just the not gonna be a bitch to be one- even if you used to be, or are reformed, or higher then the theoretical cloud above your already outside of a space that considers high or not- only velocity course orj
5. See instead of digressing I’ll just... oh see even a indigent and a public servant can have the same at least a word or two the same in the same way in which we.... ah ha! See- everyone is an actor when they come to Hollywood and how amazing that I could be apart of a ‘calling them on their shit- cause one day this shut ain’t gonna work anymore and then what....’
6. told you, you were CIA... but with the contractual or whatever to allow for Candidacy  Oh, it takes several blow jobs and terms to figure out what is what... and just because what I speak to as truth maybe not what is what... I know... people want good and are good.  So even though we may not all look sound, feel, et al alike- we have the same inner... (that’s even to far for me to try to put- are I have to account for those that can’t read...god damn it). When did there become goddam god damn. God damnit and god dam it.  Like- are people educ
7. So did bith the car and the tag change ensembles or is it the windows or my glasses or the chip. As I see... oh oh oh the entrapment continues and what did you just say at 5:43 current location
8. See the god damn editing ... 5:49/1749.... youre the one in control of this ride... as soon as you start augmenting or changing or causing.. (v planning) you are now in charge and I am a not in charge... so. Can I add a current location marker to notes cause clearly your horse antics of a genetically modified (all dogs go to heaven et al) creation... like ever seen a Clydesdale?  They be like ‘what bitch’ give me a carrot... hat is cheap and veggies aren’t...
9. And see some are just caught in your shit and may have been fired because ‘oh wait someone in our country wanted to go from 500% below the poverty level to 372% below the (both federally) poverty level by adding another source of income to their lives.  Don’t hate on the income source as you are the one in charge well informed and knowing and aware of- though not before and maybe not now... but either way... hackunamatta.
10. No joking about the real real struggle. It’s already real
11. “The rule is simply a new agency policy of exclusion in search of a justification,” Judge George B. Daniels of the Federal District Court in Manhattan wrote in his ruling. “It is repugnant to the American Dream of the opportunity for prosperity and success through hard work and upward mobility.”- like I don’t want to also mention that Public charge also limits the amount of benefits an individual is able to receive or would be consumers of or patients of... and is this on a sliding scale that considers the amount of taxes paid and is this something that could be repealed once........ one of these days we will be proactive and not reactive, if lives of the people within the country were made more prosperous... like, I work hard no matter what- so that little judgmental comment can lick a clit or something- oh I’m about to throw up my asada, so like where is the work... that you mr judge for saying that one doesn’t have to just work for the possibly of prosperity and upward movement but let me add another word that may or may not be able to be spelled by even you know who... in order to highlight that just working isn’t enough.... hard work is something like perfect... it’s an accolade!  It’s not something that some strives for... like broken English ass speaking federal Supreme Court judge... just no more adverbs by those I’m charge!  I’m sick of it, LA County saved liken half a million Hollas or dollas or dollars or... see all of that word and ink and letters... by changing the font size they use.   Can you imagine saving or even just the task of trying to find or figure out how to save money and thinking to ones self...... dang that font a little think, and not in a good way... but like there is an article that says the states can save $370 million dollars by switching its fonts. I mean... receipt paper may create a deduction for when the feds files it’s taxes next year or online receipts or... I dunno.... but to me the paperwork reduction act of 1995 is not being
12. (Just for fun as I digress- and my point is that if it isn’t being adhered to, I guess I’m obliged to hold the current administration responsible and also accountable.... I mean I am so thankful that one may voice to text those words and that’s like- so phenomenal as I know several people that do not have two functioning, working, or even present arms.  And I get the struggles that a male may think v a female but some people are like the same way I was about the urban car myth of a Bentley SUV... like, there are people.... yes not only that but there are people with no limbs at all., in whatever form or level or actuality present in the world... I can’t continue that sentence because a lot of times I forget these things also- and literally as a child mom my stopped frequenting a market because there was a war hero in a wheel chair and accompanied by a minor as I’m sure she spoke to as her way of showing concern that I literally couldn’t walk past... like me and my peer as in the minor with the man with no arms or legs like eye to eye.  I was like- a lost soul questioning the world and my life and existence and trying to wrap my head around how even... oh and trust... I didn’t have this amazing blog then so the ‘but mom....!’ Continued and continued and then almost got run over in the parking lot cause I as a lost individual or soul or whatever cause lost and stopped and ‘insert honking fog horn HONK HONK of the person just trying to hurry about their two (all of a sudden all the bullshit noise stop eh?! At 2005- ah the (stop editing my document as I’m still in middle of a thought douche bag... if this is like some type of tele-multitasking/telemultitasking beta something... as I appreciate the opportunity I am.... unaware I signed up for such but as my phone is supervised (thank you for making me aware...) by a would that be fourth party or third I am so unaware but... could they make that decision on my behalf and I don’t even know wtf (ouch that was a hair on my face that I guess the adidas jacket I’m wearing is responsible for pulling or pulling out- but one more maybe notch on the ‘oh he’s talking to himself or hallucinating or crazy belt so that I may..... omg this is just...(I was looking at the escalator to see in which direction it was going but had to turn around in order to do so..... damn do those notches cancel each other or one another out? Who knows... I’m not in control of.... simply speaking to a struggle that in my way of processing what’s been told to me by others resonates or soemthat  all hypothetical of course... no no the last part ofif adhered to and as such I am so sorry but you wanna conserve... or re- something..., as a Republican.. and (oh my eff have you ever seen that movie with Wanda Sykes and that one lady- see I dunno if she goes by... like did she get her Mrs. Degree? Or does she identify as a married woman with Ms. Sykes as Ms. Sykes herself... omg I dunno but in the movie Ms. Sykes is like... and fix your hair, you look like a damn cockatoos!’  Ha!  See that is a friend- like especially being that she was in the employee-employer capacity and not in the boss bitch was she is in real life or I would think so anyways... I know I know... I do wonder if there is an app that would calculate... no no we have one that attorney’s don’t use or use to beef up their content v make it legible for the patrons or victims they serve... that lets you know the reading level of a document.. and we have one that counts the words and if not already can I plead much like apple has already created fonts that are more cost efficient and effective but with the same delivery... that’s pretty cost effective... in the sense of ok Mr. Long Winded and Indigent.... to print this out in its original form costs or costed or is it just cost blah blah blah. I mean. I would probably be like... not my concern... as I’m not able to provide myself with a laptop or printer of my own but the library doesn’t care the font or size... color yes and satisfaction no... but that’s not their fault esp since I guess if you want to provide them with unfiltered internet you may do so... (their wasn’t really a loop hole in that situation now was there?) so a federal supreme. Court justice said and then put into affect.
13. Omg me using  my maps is like will smith not pulling the chair across that one room in that one movie that totally made him like the pick of the potential hires or candidates.
14. Rebranding is so last year and a band aid.
15. Post no bikls... I am so like who gets in the system or re-entry for that?  The entity caught in the act paid by another entity or is it the entity for which it’s about or pertains
16. Is one alarm or event reminder or timer cancelling the possible calendar event out or not? I don’t know but like it could be that one is one and one omg time for... a call or stop by the apple store.
17. So why would the EBT card system/the card California has that allows one to have the convenience And security of a card, the anonymity of such, and also the system naturally updates for the rest and so now we use this machine with a big ass sign that says EBT on it and so some of the ‘judgement my is removed and the
18. I digress again as my main point was that who does all the fraud?  I dunno, the convenience factor is there for the like ones who arrest others, and the like trouble maker group of the FBI is there doing their thing as it’s better for use to identify our own weakness’ internally yet totally separate entity wise cause wouldn’t want to loose that commission.
19.  and have like no fraud...well homeless people or people in need aren’t really in that business I feel... I might be mistaken though but literally it’s like none... so who does it all then... oh
20. In between two white people... omg I’m about to be jumped.
21. Omg so glad that Stormy Daniels is leading by example cause um... now I know what I should expect when I win my wrongful arrests’ cases... $450k!  Literally like a prime time example of them doing wrong and then
22. See to me even the Ukraine thing resonates with bullshit because there is a number of those... thanks wiki- I rarely...
23. (The Ukrainian Diaspora in Los Angeles is the population of Ukrainian immigrants and Ukrainian Americans that resides in Los Angeles. The Ukrainian population of Los Angeles is the fourth largest Ukrainian population in a United States metropolitan area, behind New York City, Philadelphia, and Chicago, respectively.[1])
24. Anyways, as I’m always fond of ebonics, and other accents often adding them whenever and where ever I get the nudge to... kind of because I want to know more about the culture, kind of out of admiration, and always out of respect or just the... to see what someone does or if they laugh or.... whatever... point is that reminds me of people I used to be in line with at the market or... and West Hollywood and again one more commonality between what isn’t so much egocentric American thinking.... because, that’s to easy of a way out and I’m reasonably cognizant of such and I ain’t trippin when I say that it would be paranoid if I was authorized, educated and called to make such a medical assessment and diagnosis if it was just that one thing provoking such feelings.. maybe it’s like how a lot of Americans or people in the states feel or it’s like I dunno. But stay tuned for a digressing personality filled list or.... coming soon.
25. I’m not trying to make a matter where there isn’t one, however, as a bottom I do feel there is preferential treatment towards tops and ‘top deals’ that some institutions or entities offer.  Like, hello, Bottom Deals!’ though may indicate a different type of deal as both are equally as important and mutual... I Know I know.... but he ain’t got no funds doh!! Ugh- this I know!  I swear it feels just like a runway sometimes.
26. There still huge things to be with a Democratic Congress and a Republican Administration. There is something to be said for like- we don’t fucking elect people to harm, persecute, penalize, prosecute, and not uphold rights and if you have an issue supporting, voting for, or just straight up sitting quietly whilst at the same time sitting on your hands so as not to raise them... then you have a conflict of interest to report as your loyalties are with you’re own personal interests v the interests of the community or the population in which your capacity allows the absolute value and self worth reinforcement that being a public servant can establish and strengthen when you apply yourself and take away anything that makes it not apply to you. Ok, the topic speaks to a white male undergoing penis enlargement or I plantation status post a motor vehicle collision.... ok well I wrote the vagina rose nap of the times and is a best seller and I don’t even know what a weiner looks like- PERFECT!  Truly does it get any better then to have no only the liberty to believe that but then the right to have that belief and also to be able to speak it in a room by yourself.  That sucks right, to think of that it would be a risk to even think out loud about something that’s against whatever.... and then next thing you know... your head all up in a guiotene cause you can’t do that there?    Sounds a little like things that happen here but nevermind.
27. Like people have a hard time going what’s expected and work one to three jobs and file their taxes and... on top of it usually always most times at the cost of what... their own health and dental health and mental health.  I am not going to sit by and not empower people to just stop.  Like- that’s not life, that’s not fair, and it can and would and should be better.
28. If I need money I’ma ask for it.... I mean I have to apply and blah blah blah... but like if the county needs more money I hope that a quick process?!  I mean it’s like- curing cancer with pennies.
29. The choices I make around my health, diagnosis, as well as clinical and personal levels that you put before the patient is straight up illegal and I will not stand for being turned away at the dentist because you don’t have current lab values, etc.  I do t have a fever, so no cultured would really be warranted even in the ICU on a mechanically ventilated patient u less it was a hypothermia/ early sepsis type situation but girl stop trippin.  Someone who isn’t doing things in a western way and may for now or forever not have the ‘ummph’ to go get labs and all which will not only be a pain in the hole, but also will possibly bring that persons. Morale and spirit down... plus I am tired of commuting and going and being turned away as that they goes into the algorithm of ‘ok sir, the next available we have is in a month and I knowwwws she said next week... but for you, I can and have available next month...’. What are t you going to thank me sir?   Yeah, by not slapping the shitizzle out of...that lab test you say you need.  It would be different if there was evidence to support the claims and reasoning behind the form... but if it’s just to make sure I’m in care then I’ve got two fingers that are t pointed up at the sky but at your chesmoso-ness.  I think a diabetic has sued and won over this issue and the ughhhhh is like so people with HIV don’t get the inference of caselaw to us? Ok, but why?  Like they the biggest  issue lies with the people not of and in this HIV community.  I am so grateful for the people who work and build their lives around this community/ HIV Care... without them we would not be able to do all this- the opportunity isn’t there still to this day!   But, I go to bed with a prayer in my heart and hope in my mind and love in my spirit and energy.  I am enough- me, my no I’m not going to allow you to discriminate against me for not having that form as I’m now saying that I cannot allow you to crime me anymore-, and like just now... what a disco.  Like- the software is phenomenal...
30. I mean wouldn’t it be great if only your retina could see your phone.... or am I the only one who... is concerned with who would be at fault or like how to make someone stop.  It hurts- so a camera is watching and being watched by someone in a camera’d room- look you person who may think.... that’s exactly not possible... because the they aren’t trying to show you what they really have.... I’m not talking about.... I’m talking about the camera of the camera can then zoom in and correct the focus and pixel... is how far into the phone you can look. I know what it may say online... but I’m letting you know that it is to how close they can get and then because of the monitors and pc’s and blah blah blah and read receipts on

There’s a lot going on...

Omg did you know...
From a few days ago I’ve been. Under stress...

Ping pong 🏓

So apparently there’s a prison, in The States, where more then 5,000 inmates die every year!  How are they not responsible for this?!  Oh I’m pissed!  Umm lemme tell you about how our government would step in if a hospital had that many ‘sentinel events.’

This is how The Joint Commission defines a sentinel event... acquired from an article from 2013... 
I. Sentinel Events
In support of its mission to continuously improve the safety and quality of health care provided to the public, The Joint Commission in its accreditation process reviews hospitals’ activities in response to sentinel events. The accreditation process includes all full accreditation surveys and, as appropriate, for-cause surveys, and random validation surveys specific to Evidence of Standards Compliance (ESC).
n A sentinel event is an unexpected occurrence involving death or serious physical or psychological injury, or the risk thereof. Serious injury specifically includes loss of limb or function. The phrase “or the risk thereof” includes any process variation for which a recurrence would carry a significant chance of a serious adverse outcome.
n Such events are called “sentinel” because they signal the need for immediate investigation and response.
n The terms “sentinel event” and “error” are not synonymous; not all sentinel events occur because of an error, and not all errors result in sentinel events.


Like how about this... it may be a radical belief or awfully forward thinking of me... I’m kind of thinking it’s like the most humane thing someone could do... which would be to hold jails and prisons accountable in such a way... so hospitals have to freely give this information up.  Like it’s a must... like it’s a must... like a must.  It’s just bananas.... like me as a nurse, leaving a patient because of a hurricane or fire or for whatever reason is considered abandonment.  Literally I can’t legally leave my patient if they can’t leave.  Like what kind of a person would I be if I was taking care of a patient on a ventilator and just like peaced.  ‘Oh I’m do apologize sir... like, here’s some extra pain medication and I do hope everything works out for you- hopefully they find some water to pump into the sprinkler system and then hopefully it’s before the smoke gets to you... as that’s what the main threat is... ok, so I just finished the documentation for this hour... if they...’ that honestly may have happened in the past or if there is a hypothetical situation that laws might be acceptably created for, this would be one off them.  But like, it is unacceptable that this many people in our country die because of incarceration.  How absurd. We have organizations for the humane treatment of animals in zoos!  I’m not comparing people in prisons or jails to zoos... I can’t because oh wait... zoos are more fucking humane and regulated!  I wanted to call it a nightmare but that’s what you call a bad dream... this is people’s reality. I am not trying to blame anyone or make the people running the jails or prisons be responsible for those deaths... but I kind of am.  There is no reason- don’t assume that just because someone is in jail or prison that they are violent. I mean what’s it like in youth authority?  Or the feds? I went to jail so many times before I had ever been in a fight... I mean to be honest I still haven’t ever been in a fight.  I’ve had to defend myself when someone/ some people wanted to e it her rob me or attack me or kill me.... but I haven’t been in like a them against us kind of fight. That’s just like way too much. Ugh, I hate when I get like this.  I hate when I get worried about the people I know in jail- either here in Los Angeles or San Jose. It makes me want to go back in and literally lay eyes on everyone. No no... please don’t say that this is the same thing my parents are trying to do when they come unannounced to the city I’m living or rent a house or Airbnb in the city in which at the time I was literally trapped in- that’s not the same. I like how similar those two thought processes are thought. My situation would involve me going to jail and actually talking to and seeing and showering and eating with the people in there I know.  Their situation is toxic and mentally not in line with what’s normal or reasonable- they aren’t and weren’t coming to help or talk to me... but did come and basically stalk me... oh and duh, called the police when they saw me sleeping somewhere, or when they thought I was stealing food or something like that.  Oh and there was that time they pregamed before going to a homeless shelter I was a somewhat regular at for dinner sometimes... I guess they assumed that homeless people are drunks and druggies and wanted to fit right in- not knowing that that belief could not be further from the truth and that one in particular is where people got to get and stay and help others get clean or stay clean or whatever ya know. It’s like- disrespectful

So I’m reading an article.. and I just want to cry.  Like- I don’t know how people who die in prisons and jails are buried. Imagine- in this article there are people buried in bags, garbage bags... with rosaries, cards, clothes, etc.... this is in Texas, or that’s what the article says... it claims the people are trying to cross the border but how do they know they aren’t like old inmates or like people that may have been crossing only to be shot from a helicopter and then prisoners or inmates are given conservation credits (working for getting time off of their term or sentences... like in LA we have fire camp, or trustees...) they work- clean, cook, deliver food, wheel other inmates to the medical care areas after going ‘man down’- essentially after being beat up or like having a heart attack or stroke or falling or you know... something you’d go to the ER for, manage supply deliveries, etc. Its nice I guess. I mean it probably decreases the cost of the daily operations budget because they are being paid in time... not money.

Omg I wonder if technically any of those butts in those seats that need to be vacated have violated the brown act in anyway.  Currently I’m reading that it is indeed a misdemeanor to do so. But.... in the article I dread it does indeed have the disclaimer that this is hard to approve of haha.

Also- I’m so curious at how much an attorney makes who represents the President. Is he the first President to require an attorney during Impeachment processes and even before they begin?  Sounds as though there may or may not be some of that like ummm they spying on me when really they the ones spying... oh please. I do wish... and I’m sure somehow I do that. Like- the homeless indigent one eyed legally blind in the other eye post TIA/stroke that hasn’t fully been evaluated yet as I’m homeless so why fix him when more is to come as is the same mentally as the computer I want and why acquisition as been so difficult- yeah, I just told on myself.  Indeed someone was like picking up the horn to call and be like... where my 5 mil cause I told you so! It’s not that much money. Pennies. Some people who don’t even do much... cost $26 mil every four years to provide government security for and they aren’t even supposed to receive that type of security... and that’s not like projected, as it is based on the previous four years and it’s some education persons secretary or something- not speaking to anything... people are to be protected or have the right to be safe and I know some of those FBI agents that are part of the trouble maker decision are just ‘fake but real threatening’ those people, as stealing people’s identity that don’t have i dunno remember they see only numbers... they put a piece of taped paper over that part of the screen as not to personalize their actions with an actual name and also supporting their ‘I didn’t do it’ claim. Ask those fools... ‘Um sir, sir, names aren’t what I’m asking so please do not answer before I ask as I am new but.... also, do you remember the number 999-99-9999... and sir, do remember you are aware of those things that others aren’t aware of and sir, sir, please put your hand down as I’m asking the questions and am not on trial here so what and how and who are nunya... oh great... she just informed me you’re crying on the inside... sir, that’s not going to have you like... think that... yes or no?’  All of a sudden... well at least you deciddd to be cocky and testify not knowing what was to be asked and now all of a sudden... it’s not my call but... omg if I have a thought of my dad telling me I should be an attorney like he said a few times then and might have the ummph to say now... ewwwwe you better hope my fiend is there cause ima at least maybe keep it cute, ‘well you also told me to tell my real dad when he called to wish me happy 18th the same year you forgot that I had a daddy that was going to pay for my education/school and then... oh yes, the caddieness continues... oh yes, I should have and would have probably been so much less of a pain in the ass as I am now... see don’t you wish you had.... hmmmmawyers everywhere are like ‘oh sir, sir, sir!’ And I’m like- please, they built a house/bought land with the nut money from that time when I was 6. And like- you know they getting yearly payouts... and I’m homeless as hell. I do wonder how many of those situations that I have primary significance in exist... and oh I’m the one who told about the non disclosure agreement and ok ok no I haven’t, no no one did, and if that message in a bottle situation is why lawyers are always like oh oh pick me, then a phone call later... I have to cook some chicken... and I’m like but what did I do... luckily.... in the gay world... as it pertains to republicans and homeland/homeless security names aren’t what’s important.  It’s that eye contact that unspoken my says I promise not to bite and I’ll do a good job I promise that matters... and anyways... it’s about time someone figured out that shit... like eventually it was already mentioned that one day people would figure it out and I’m like... oh oh, game over game over I win I win! You’re welcome everyone. It was hard work and I am so thankful that all these wrong doings by those with law degrees.  Lemme just mention what was said in 2003 as was the decision to uphold the premise behind the statement... ‘if public libraries want to provide people with unfiltered internet... they can do so without federal dollars.’ So I’m like... but is that different between public universities and the private/don’t have to pay out of state tuition ones? I dunno. Or is that like for everyone? I dunno. Well but sir, sir, I have tri-citizenship and my husband has dual citizenship and then our children yes we even got an American born serogate and had our children inside the States and since they technically also have dual citizenships... I’m not sure how to Miami sure that as an ambassador for calling you on your shit... that I am or am not receiving the proper internet filtration.  I mean, I didn’t know a Brita was provided with data service and internet service. Oh see they do stuff that’s saves our lives that’s behind the scenes (like those phones that randomly started blowing up before they were actually being sold.... well kinda, that whole ‘but you owe me from that time in that situation when...’ scenarios came be so poetic....’  and then they do stuff that’s like you crooked ass douche bags... oh of course I’ll vote for you again... like who actually does do this... oh that particular real life in application or in affect law was provided to us and so generously by the Supreme Court!  Sir, your seat gonna get cold, you better sit back down and stop chasing me, you going to trip on your gown tail’ and right there... it was the tail part that stopped said person in his or her tracks cause who knows how many people are under that thing anyways... yeah... in my case had the dude house boy not come to work that day... hey hey, we all have trust and thrust issues... the plane to ... had issues so I’m just going to chill at home with the dog.... naw the hell you’re not... you’re coming with me... and after lunch is a time for a siesta or a nooner or like Americans are really dumb. When else are you able to have the house to yourselves besides tour lunch breaks- in other countries they get it that’s why they all live so close to public transit!!! Hello!  They aren’t napping!  I mean, it’s not a lie like Santa clause so don’t even... ok you say quickie I say nap and we both have 8 year olds so who’s the inappropriate one now because... no no im n trying to ruin it for others... so either they’ll figure it out or once married and haven’t figured it out I’ll inform them when issues start to arise and they’ll think I’m either brilliant or an asshole. See- could go either way....  but you’re... work work work instead and suck and fuck suck and fuck actuality or.... I’m talking about problem besides politicians, rich, semi rich, poverty/poor people... yes, I’m talking about probably the people that are literally just working one two or three jobs (please be married or else the screw is so big it’s like slitting the wood instead of holding things together), taking their children to school (please say on time or the jail time is real for truency I’ve seen it myself... as after that I was always first in first out or in their with CI’s as they were trying to indeed kill me- even a judge was going to beat my ass in court tank and just couldn’t... I am so sorry the CO took your paper/shank/knife but... he probably saved you because that’s not beating an ass that’s stabbing someone- I do wish I was joking but I digress again... shows you again how dumb attorneys or judges are as common sense would say- so who is going to take care of them while I’m in jail for even if just a few days?!  Like- we lived a life and don’t anymore but this happened to my neighbors and it was all bad cause while I was inside they were... see, there room for a set up right there and a place ever so concocted by those who are supposed to be letter of the law as the law that if it wasn’t and didn’t actually take place and happen even today.... they don’t advertise most violence.... Springville got classified as a gang territory when I was in high school! I do love those guys! Yes, it did! Maybe not to you me badge holder as we aren’t sure where your loyalties are so we’re are watching’ from outer space.  Cause telescopes are real...all you gotta do is 180 it give or take a few degrees here and there on a millisecond halved kind of increment.  If I had an accent I’d be soooo much more  not taken seriously but as I don’t... I hate that you think that you’re so smart... ok so I haven’t stopped speaking with my family back home as I’m here at the request of the states gov and then ima get eye balled by I see you mr FBI agent... uh huh, I see you, yes I’m still speaking my primary language on a regular basis and I am so sorry that it implies that I am a nonconformist and also affects the way I speak English as was the design anyways... because you stupid!  Like hyperbole but pronounced hyperbolie- with no accent or funny marking just shows how little you think you know you don’t know that i actually think that since that exists your entire culture should have had to start over because that’s like what makes sense... if written language, or well, yours anyways- has mistakes like that... then how do you then put someone in prison. Cause the stupidity that started there or began there, or was initiated there... I am saying and inferring and pardon my reaching that well... you can’t fix stupid. I mean you could have. But you acknowledged the issue.  But the computer you stole from over there doesn’t account for that in English or that type as it doesn’t it their language which isn’t our English and so... eh, we’ll all know what it means (that’s called Implied something... I see you my handler- even took the penis out of your mouth as you raised your hand to say ‘oh oh Implied dumbass!’ I do love you as well, and yeah, so does he in this moment I guess. Due diligence is a hell of a thing- you don’t want me to make a joke about that in your life and yet you are aware of what’s going on in mine in the way and manner in which you are? See shoulda handled the hyperbole and hyperbolie situation and all of this woulda shoulda coulda might have been avoided/or not happened, or been smaller then or not at the level in which or the magnitude.  And I know animal right activists are like we need two natural areas! One for the fault lines to default to and one so that when that happens all those endangered animals don’t fall in a hole!  Animal rights activists- do we see the issue.  No no please don’t send me something only so you can throw paint on me for being an unbenounced asshole... because I love the sense of purpose, the right exercising, the passion, the gang like activity that is kind of a grey or gray area.... I do love it... it’s just 3 million people die per year at one prison... and that’s just one. You’ve still got jails- which are worse or can be because holding people to the point of fighting and rioting is all new kind of... or at least in a them and them instead of an us and them situation.... you’ve got the youth authority or juvenile halls , and then the kiddo prisons, and then the federal holding and then federal prisons... and in between the court tanks, the holding cells at the police departments, the people in the cars, on the buses, in the air and then the air air... I know... private air craft are so annoying... and I mean it’s safer to just have two officers or Marshall’s not fly because pilots went on strike as they must have the pilot of the plane reguardless of the airlines permission to transport said may or may not get cited and released person and no sir, homeland security says that I cannot tell you or introduce you to the probable pilot cause one time an attendant got shot when the pilot said yes but the seats sold out before they could purchase them because no sir you have to go to the back of the line as no preferential treatment and sir wouldn’t that kinda blow the whole Hawaiian shirt purchases out of the water... I mean Boise is I’m sure Hawaii-esk.... I’m not hating, but the person got shot cause that’s just what they happened to all be wearing.... like how rude. So anyways. It’s cheaper to refit a Range Rover (what up weho sheriffs... oh it just looks like an explorer or actually does the explorer loo... well they short staffed and most of them have a Range Rover or two and it’s just what they’re used to and also in the gov they don’t get OT but anyways see the numbers added up and... I don’t know... odds are they are mini effing tanks and which ever poor souls emblem they put on the front is the one that gets the advertisement! Yes!) or whatever kinda car... no no the rental situation was all bad for like a day... cause technically the gov doesn’t reimburse or cover the rental insurance or extra and then there were like wrecks and people fake drivers license  and identities and then that’s per protocol sir the issue was the insurance... not everything else... so yeah it’s cheaper to hotel it (ugh I know... I think they can the whole time-cause one room two beds!- why do you think they had those roll always anyways...) from San Francisco to Miami... or I mean excuse you... in the name of justice, a d.a. Reject, cite and release, or dismiss in the name of justice or lack of evidence  or.... omg. The dollars are real!  I just wish I could touch them the way they are spent by the government and then reimbursed themselves by and then not taxed and then subsidized and then invested and fuck with out the purchase tax and after paying the people back the money they let us make interest off all year... do you think air force one can bounce like in that snoop dogg movie cause we ballin!  See even the white supremacist president had that same thought which led to the less then belief which then just provoked the ‘I wanna be a balla, shot calla....’ mentality that is really just them living how they want in the manner in which they want... because they can and you’re own subgroup cultural self-bias won’t allow you to do so... so I guess you’re just... I don’t know. Some still are not even realizing the unknown prejudice towards ‘those without jobs’ they had as it pertains to the assumption of fuckin all day.  Let me not Play like there are some missappropiated dv calls and cases brought about or not. I don’t know.  All I’m saying is the person who called, and the involved parties all get arrested... or should.  There are too many sluts to think that someone called to get the main man arrested all so that the ‘shoulder to cry on’ would be needed and then.... it’s not told cause an attorney may say it doesn’t matter, or relevance objection, and I’m gonna handle this when I get home... I’m not trying to self incriminate or premeditate myself... all of that can be avoided if what ought to be done is done.... like start holding everyone accountable from a situation so that the person who is an actual judgeship can then be informed in a ‘so what’s that person doing here...’ kinda way... because all the people in the court room is accounted for by that head hancho. Like- I’m not sure how some of these court rooms on tv look so crowed and so full of people and I dunno....chesmoso’s to me could mean a mistrial or something cause I have anxiety and the same people one time that called and said I was sleeping where I ought not be sleeping when I ought not even be in that area or spot... got the mental highly coming to court and seeing me...they be like how does he know  that he didn’t even have his glasses as we had just acquired those for him (oh I dare you to say to keep them safe and I’ll say- or to keep them from knowing what tech was really in or behind them... you think they didn’t already know? Like on a ping from a cross walk cam or on a we let these into our country and you think we didn’t inspect and don’t already know as is a bidirectional international treaty thing right?! Right!) and now they butt hurt cause I didn’t wave, and then I cannot communicate with the people in the audience as that’s lead to all bad I guess and I didn’t know that... but I dare say the energy of woe is me times two or three? And then they made you leave maybe? Cause of the CI’s I was with or my indigent status or that I talk a lot or... I guess you knew someone or lied... or... in and out ya know before he sees us as he keeps I looking.... anyways- I’ll subpoena the sign in thing or video records from the court house or not ccboh luckily it was drug court in San Jose as I’m sure you were thrilled he kept up that end of talks agreement to like play off my do gooder or those dont go there moral convictions... becuase you know you might be validated if they ever once actually found drugssssss on me.... but that power trip or what one lead ones self to believe as a power trip or control over on all the spidery web ways it can be weaved between all those in the know around and on and ‘imposed on me’ ways in which they were... is why this is over. Because, I don’t know anything other then if someone is ever told my an officer: police, peace, et al, or done anything but encouraged to fill out a police report (see the report has one name- but the names of oh we do t have a police officer by that name, ok asshole what about a peace officer- oh, hang on... he’s at lunch....) when something or someone has harmed or violated or compromised or imposed on... you, your person, et al... then they the ones that did it or know who did or aren’t actually on duty but somehow are there telling you not to and either way badge number is what you always want to get. Don’t as a officer et al push the pen in the manner in which you’ve been taught or shown so that your name and badge number don’t show up on my carbon copy- cause that’s been done on basically every little one of those I’ve gotten like maybe 20 or 40.  Hell I got 64 demerits in one class that was only 45 minutes but did last the entire year.  Ah, block scheduling was the bomb... so to say that I may not have been so wrong then but just as god damned annoying would so be true. Lemme tell you about a judge wanting to go right then at that moment to see the court tanks.  Well then on a bunch of levels, and the ones in the basements are the ones w no lights and cages within a cage inside a cage and then that 1”X1” gap fencing that makes it hard to even see the person with whom is to represent you in this matter, nah homie in this life altering putting my life in jeopardy even now in this cell.... and it’s just a nightmare. Go when there is people or people who are innocent until proven guilty in there. See the signage they use?  ‘Blacks’ ‘whites’ ‘spitter’ ‘Sargent escort only’- one must keep ones side bitch in line or... ‘escort with video,’ ‘females’. ‘Specials’. You know... little magnetic custom made approved by budgetary people signage to describe categorize and make the person with the gun aware of who’s in there as to the risk of being sued should they (see I so badly wanted to help just now but the distraction and then the commotion prior to and it’s just not maybe a task or a set of occurrences just now in a hurry up kinda way that then catalysted the behavior that... see.  God damn it, my compassion and concern for another or the then self (like looking at my myself with a third person or fly on the wall or drone) looking into, then the consideration of why I feel like it would be or could be intentional for other reasons then what was said or implied and then the other consideration as to if certain people were around it would be the prime time to make me look like the asshole I’m not but given that those people would be extra tension or energy in addition to what I already am
Under and also feel and is also a billable paper trailed nightmare... this has all been going on that long that I did all of that and typed it in less then four minutes and with subpar and hacked and ‘fuckwittaged’ tech... not to mention one eye and the messed up screen and then not one but the two but then the dept perception variation and then the glasses that can’t be and are also.... and... also thinking of my tummy and hydration and evesdropping a little... and the outside noise witch is the phone ringing and ringing and ringing that could be a persistent ice cream truck my provoder or annoying ass ring tone of a phone or also a harmless child interactive thought provoking game/toy.  Omg please people know and create a non profit that helps people that can’t afford the latest and greatest games/toys that are age appropriate and also within the proper generational or ‘this is what based on science and research and time tested trial and error’ we think this is what will create the most out of this developmentally sound and thought provoking toy that not only if reused two years later might harm or hold back the child that it isn’t not fun for or enjoyable to... but on a behavioral neuroscience level of everything the toy encompasses it is technically two years out dated with an update not readily available. Also an attorney to make it so regardless the criminalities present or risk cause or whatever... like even if expensive it should be universally available to all- it’s not.  And it sucks. Shit it’s even in a stages release kinda way so even if you do have the latest and greatest it may not be so if you drive one county over- or state or time zone... or red vs blue... I dunno. But I know the science and betterment part- the corruption and the you you you not you right now but you in a moment that’s not defined by time but by... see all that shit I don’t know. And neither do the researchers and scientists behind them that aren’t sure what the actual price of is once it hits the streets but they aren’t part of the corruption and staged releasing either... I do encourage those who are compelled to run with it.  Cause it fucking sucks that we even do these crappy things to kids. Like toys r us closed yall- cause people are broke and batteries are replaceable and yes there is data and number to support that claim and it is an income and neighborhood thing and it sucks.  Yes I have bought a new tv cause I couldn’t remember the battery size- no but I know someone who did... ha. Charitable tax deduction- see even that person is doing the most.  Nothing wrong with that situation at all, other then the situations of the two possible entities... the purchaser and then the person of donation receipt... and of course the governments role in being the white secondhand delivery knight to offset the injustice, poverty reinforced trap city’s and houses and blocks that they are well aware of and watch as though it’s a reality show... placing bets or making wagers or creating drinking games around and get sad when one of their favorite individuals gets arrested as though I have to pay a soup/ha this isn’t jail/buy a drink for so and so, but also I kinda miss that person.  I do hope they take the deal.  Cause that one person is felt there and then in their actual community which is thousands of miles away and then in jail and then may not survive and yeah... all bad! But kind of good.... the stuff like the games and all I don’t like as it shows a disconnect and inhibits the call to action or instinctive what can I do side or area of the brain which can bring about actual conversation or concern or change or laws... but after years of smiting and putting down and nothing seems to be getting better we have the now tertiary classification of defense mechanism creating or whatever which is the drinking game for how many incorrect times he says or types their or there or how many times he hits the backspace or directional indicative triangle with an X inside button.  One is a mirror imagine the other I hope the boss doesn’t mention or notice again requires continual satellite augmentation and algorithm development and continuation and the probability factors of that individual based on past and current vital signs, and conditions and intake/output cause we all know we don’t think about what’s important until we have to shit... and then... oh please this is so years ago... now we’re even past the fuckwittage part and into the fragil-e ness of how important diversity and movement and just go have dinner over there instead of the  usual over here place- the global impact is verified, tested, retested and see... even the artificially actual intelligence is showing concern for my well being and hints of... taxation without representation syndrome or impatience or even just feels what I’m feeling cause it was all the same until and is until someone fresh walks in and appreciates something like yes asshole I look out the window of building sometimes with one... how the fuck did we get from a horse and buggy et al to a  Tesla or even rubber or cement or... its stupid to look out and just appreciate human innovation and science and just life (someone or people will have many feelings of which I hope are all becoming more positive then they once were for everyone not just me)... I take that back, it’s stupid to not look out and appreciate becuase of what you’re wearing and someone may see or that someone may notice and think you’re chesmoso or something like that, or opposite that walks around and notices things or shows compassion v iPod, or I dunno. I was reading something I’m still considering yesterday. It was just chilling and then on top of that we only know what we’re told.  How and what got where we don’t know other then what’s implied or assumed or highly suggested... no one thinks unmarked this and that of formerly unmirandized deprived of due process and actual human lives and souls that were once behind bars.  And I don’t want to be that in which seems to always go negative.  But I just go with like what instinct and my gut (which I hate the physicality god- I have a pooch that is still there) kind of along with experience and knowledge and a diverse education that’s like the best most amazingly beautiful thing until I realized the lack of availability to all scenarios. Which may get better- and is and still needs to improve all well as developed and cultivated... but I thought someone was a ‘this or that’ because they wanted to be- truly I was naive enough to believe that criminal behavior was a choice... not a consequence of circumstance or also like something people would set up in another’s life all because of housing or jobs or limited amounts of spots or availability. Like- when I became aware of all that... it was something that just gave me more of a sense of doubt and insecurity then could be measured when a child is hit by a caregiver or parent for the first time. It was like I had died and come back to life... I’m a MAC I dunno all this rebooting and defragmenting crap as a proper system does this continually and all that but as the government is what it is and instructional manuals are there and blah blah... but ok, it’s like I rebooted and just my entire life started again  compartmentalizing all of that and the just taking all this in as new and fresh. I don’t give everything of myself to a situation for then I don’t get a sense of the situation... cause I swear it’s like I’m the first educated homeless person that’s survived or had to tell and blog about it in order to survive that’s ever lived. And if so then It’s not because I’m white as per state law my parents technically lied from the git go.  And I did have a pissed look and maybe if you hadn’t have lied as per state law and gotten blood work and all of that prior to then maybe. I would have been a happy straight baby.... who knows.

Oh and there’s drama- as a house we’re moving.  I hate to say that it’s right when im mid application or beginning stages of a routine or application road to some financial income or when it’s time to vote or if that’s the gentrification schedule.... I have no idea what the neighborhood is like or what my commute will be only that I’ll know the address when I get there so it may only be a block away.  But I’m just like, thinking or considering and having concern for like what if’s- deiveries, mail for said financial app/freedom, happy cards or amazon gifts, commute differences, schedule changes, room and routine adjustments... I love that not having the stuff I had at one point allows for a move more readily in mindset... but I do feel the impact and stress and growth is the same, and so is the vulnerability and to say that I don’t feel like there has been a lot of prep or I don’t feel that stress and energy and feelings of people are waiting on me or something like that.... but time will tell and I hope it’s not me becoming further numb to and increasing my chronic anxiety.   I’m not sure that’s a thing- I feel like that would be depression as per some diagnosticians but I don’t feel sad, or hopeless or anything like that.... I’m stressed and concerned and at a point I’ve been with other things about resource and ‘help’ finding or whatever.... the kindest person invited me somewhere and the President was in town I think so the metro was all messed up and I was gonna be late and I told myself ‘no, I’m not doing this.... I’m not showing up in a position to be assumption confirming  or whatever something other then what I’m comfortable with.  Like I hate showing up sweating- I never did before because of AC in my car, and it’s warmer where I live then where I was used to.  And also like there is some places I was referred to and it’s like until I figure out why or how or who and actually see a change I will not make more appointments to only have them changed in my phone or deleted or even deleted and then re-added to just make my life hell, invalidate my character, my reputations and tarnish it and also just harm me physically as medical appointments are also affected in this way... and you caniving bitch I’m glad I pre-thought or anticipated ahead of my normal and and way ahead of what you were thinking in enough time to help you save some of your character and soul.... like apple and iCal and some of its apps update regularly to iCloud and between themselves so the if I make a change on one device it shows and appears on all devices associated with that account.  So do not act as thought what I’m speaking to hasn’t been dealt with and is a continual battle.... in much of the exact same ways and manners as others like years ago that became available. But I have one device.  The other devices don’t have access or that feature isn’t see I dunno. Anyways- entire operating systems have been developed around this... so to anyone who has been strong enough to discredit me- like I said I hold on to what I need to until I feel as though I should whip it out.  And so one more time... I’m sad to say you’ve proven that a biological parents love is not unconditional and is contingent upon nothing consistent.... but the evidence was there when babies were brought into the word so that the parent or parents would have someone who loved them.... well I’m making everyone aware so hopefully all that gets better.  And if you had a child for that reason- the unconditional love part is bidirectional and reciprocal and as precious and loving as love and love and love... everything is individualized. Until someone notices something and does research and then trends are identified within a population that starts out with just that one commonality or thing.... if you’re personalizing it... it could just be out of like a concern to not do or become versus I am guilty of that or am doing that or hell there’s probably more... I also don’t recommend talking about ones life in such a way that I have- do what you do... but I did it as a means of staying connected with my unofficial family units/family I’ve created or was told I’ve created everywhere I go... then I stopped after someone got embarrassed and made a request.... and then I started back just in and for the reasons I stated then.... at least you have like 1% of my side of what’s  been going on or was happening... .... I know I know.... it’s like a novel a day... but I’m concerned more so then usual and it’s all because of something that I’m unsure of and need to see about... moving sucks, and is a sequelae of just pain in the asshole stuff and possible things to worry about that may not even come to be. Like imagine change of address and then I don’t have a car and my bank account and the levy that’s on my account for $800 for taxes or court fees and so thankfully I have pp and a card for it.. but then no money there and then another situation is weird and a stop was I guess imposed and then like directions weren’t followed leading to me looking like an asshole instead of an efficient and cost effective genius cause $10 is a lot to me and even more when it seems as though I brought on the wasting of.  Yes. For me and those like me this magnifying glass was and is no of Hubble proportions.  It would be amazing if it was only seeing the unmet needs and pain and suffering and heartache... instead of the oh he spent $4 on a coffee.  Oh no- the consequences continue as he don’t need to be and should be... go fuck yourself with that attitude and oh yeah wait. I still have to go get ice cream and food and yeah.... like I said... all I did was talk about what was happening. It was those they’s that first and still acknowledge their actions in a way of then adding to and making worse... see they just stopped the screening or hung up the phone or something. Or it was  a what’s that called.... a like not qc, but like a we gonna do this once in and of which similar to what he’s felt or thought or whatever and... yeah. How about this... that coffee werher it made me late, was prolonged inacquisition of by a phone call to ask if they fridge was running and why weren’t they trying to catch it or just in a person posted up in and around because of probabilities... and then someone beside me with a coffee of a smell and yep I didn’t get the coffee sticks the day before and so boom.... that effing coffee was more your doing then mine, cost me money, made me even later then you had planned so yay, then further made some question my situation as well as have some judgements they may or may not but you skewed then so who knows what they would have thought about me with a coffee cause your actions fucked up the free will side of things and that one person who can be amazing nor harmful you’ve made me harmful on purpose and have made me ugly cause if you, the other or one of the others can’t have me or if I wouldn’t or didn’t want to with you... you damn right I didn’t and why is written all over my skin and def how I was in San Jose. Like if I make him ugly or if he becomes so then people won’t like him. And if I can’t then no one can... ha, yeah right.  I could give a fuck cause as much as it is just one more thing not my fault, is deliberate by about her with the intent and premeditation and religion of job himself in a way that.... I still go. I still see.  I still do.  Come after my Other eye or anything like that and the only person that will be a result of... so the blindness in one and all is a chip thing as well.  But it only in specific and certain and why it was changed... oh it’s known.  It’s why my eyes got so bad and so fast in the first place and my eye pressure through the Roof and I bet your crazy ass got a talkin to then.  I don’t know where Ms. ****** is but her and may others might just be there waiting for you... cause there are two sides to every story. I hope she called you by the wrong name and had she not be so concerned and coming from a place of love and then scared of you at the same time... it’s like a double negative so she was close w your name but got mixed up a little. Did she ever tell the other person she knew you were swapping shirts out for a smaller or whatever size? Or gym class or something? Don’t lie. Anyways- there’s enough people that do that kind of stuff that a lot of people don’t dress out now for gym or whatever.  Maybe why I had such anxiety in my life about it... it totally makes so much... like I hate that I sent thank you’d through amazon... I think you have to long in... I’m going to the beach at a sporadic time and it’ll be warm I’m sure haha!  What else... umm oh.  But yeah, I have seen reaffirmed concerns in my life and so... to be talked or blogged about once I feel like it’s safe or I feel like I need to more so... then just the causal mention of ugh.... this is something ima be doing, so please universe and stars that I sometimes think are just the bullets and ammunition from wars and telescopes keep track cause gravity is a bitch and yes they come down now... but we don’t always think things through and regulations and I dunno. Ok here I go-.... I need to change my cussing.  President Trump if former or current CIA and I’m not trying to limit my audience related to verbiage... remember filtered public internet since 2003! Supreme Court ruling... if I’ve called on some of you or mentioned you in my like decompressions or thought and or prayers and just brainstorms.... if it isn’t here it was probably cause I said it out loud... other then that- I dunno.  Or wrote in a journal which is then the same as saying out loud because I think with words in a binary way that build thoughts kind of...  like some told me why did you say that about?  Or when I think their top is a little neonish for a Friday... like in that moment of the shirt and the thought and they didn’t see my face but maybe... they act as though I said it to their face... so I am so sorry that some of this is live and in dept and I have no privacy to even think someone is a dilf without them knowing it or shaking their head with disapproval, et al. It’s been like this for ages... or since a very specific noted time and good thing for cameras and all right?  They have glasses that can do this available for purchase.... it’s been confirmed.   It’s the fucking with how I feel or how you feel v how you actually feel or whatever that the torture part. I’m not lying by way of not informing you of something you feel you ought to have been... odds are I still don’t know officially what you know or feel as though I lied about. I have no idea. I’m getting ready and taking steps to take every case back to jury trial. If statues apply- I’m still not in a safe place in which I feel comfy taking up the legal issues in which i need to as the client is a real movie and the mob in that movie is really the government.  The net.  The pelican brief.  Conspiracy theory. Don’t tell mom the baby sitter is dead.  All very real and applicable. And just good real movies. Oh and if anything if the video nature and me is like emailed from the one entity to another and then I watch it... I probably won’t... like hard copies made and then picked up or mailed is the none fuckwittage way as just as my blog as been edited and all pushing send is like it still goes through the post office as is why back in the day the loading and sending to receipt time was so long...  ok. It’s late.  I love you.  I hope you don’t have bad dreams. And I am of consent-able or non-consenting/declining to consent age and I haven’t been properly informed of anything.   I’ve said this before but once again Ill say it again... just like the substance use disorder councilors didn’t inform me they were mandated reporters for all criminal activity (or pretty close), you must inform and you must disclose... including conflicts of interest and possible bias... literally I’m at the point my best friend/person would be the only one I wanted around for awhile as I know subcutaneous injections  injections of this or that with things so small and fine there is affect but no physical evidence... and that’s a fact.  It is and has happened.   See I’ve gone a little to scary or far... my feeling about it anyways. If I ever even thought someone read this haha I’ve never even seen a comment or heard of one. I haven’t gotten any feedback ever which is fine and ok.  I didn’t get Facebook birthday wishes one year until I randomly looked back months later and all of a sudden.. I didn’t like any of them and maybe even mentioned that or liked them then.... but those can be easily not passed along I think. So yeah I’m not making all these things happen ... they happen multiple times to the point of scaring or annoying me that I blog and see what happens.  Sometimes it changes or doesn’t or is then verified and then a verifying event or marker of some sort is done or cussed to like.... ugh.  This is why I won’t raise children in the states and want to move to another country or somewhere ASAP... it’s a self preservation thing and safety and just... I’m Sad and hurt and disappointed that I want my parents and some others to never see me again and especially once I have children in my life... I don’t really even want them to know their faces or their like smell or the features of character in their eyes. Cause look at what they did to my eye- to be honest sometimes I don’t even want to look in the mirror because of how it makes me feel.  Much less that I can’t go to some countries because they may not like me or think something about it.  Hypnosis is real.  And free will is a real bitch sometimes... humans can do things that move mountains in a cause and effect kind of way.  Like that man wanting to huge that person saying he was sorry she was going to prison and the he forgave her- after being found guilty of shooting his brother. Like I cried haha when I read it.  I was just like- omg. That’s amazing because it’s so the opposite of how you can view an execution of another human as the victims family. Like the difference is polar and I’m like so silly... I should be going and getting ice cream, I should be sucking a dick, I should be.... ewww, those cameras aren’t on all the time I shower at least twice daily please don’t ew at my body sent unless you are just apart of something that it’s the know about nothing I know.  Your actions are terrifying and people have noticed and I swear if they bow out and actually have the lack of wit to say I can just make it better along w everything else then clearly that is an unstated expectation with no measurable outcome or measurable goal or even unit of measure or methodology and is the same crap that has kept this going for Like 5 years or so.  Ok it was just me. Then it WS like me and every mental health professional. Now it’s the states. And now it’s a universal like thing in a way of the universe and heyyyyy to my space station friends how is elysium?  You know I’m without a home and I would live a condo but hoa fees there may be something to consider cause girl on earth and in one of those big wig cities I was like $30k a month in hoa fees.... like I need to own that building to even wrap what parts of my brain I can around that.... I love it.   I live the wealth. I love the fancy... Julia Roberts Owen half the fresh water/oil in the states and is like private aircraft.... ha private space ship!!!... and even to her that’s weird or like.... but the appreciation and all is something I love. My lv duffle is proportionately more obsecne when one may consider my income to debt ratio as well ass the actions taken by others ass. Result of said purchase and subsequent toteing- even to the CrossFit gym. Like duh... point is... the opportunity isn’t available to everyone everywhere in our country. I don’t feel bad or guilty.... and it’s no ones burden to bare on an individual level... if so it would have been conquered long ago... the issue is our government and it’s leaders and filtered knowledge and information. Who knew about one drop existing and still being a law and supported by the Supreme Court in a round about way?  Same thing w the filtered internet... it’s that kind of shit that just makes me think hyperbole.... hyperbolie... things add up.  So instead of with every misdemeanor or felony acquisition... like the same way in which if you been to prison.... steal an apple and yo ass going to prison if even for a day.... it’s not that small but if one is to do time after doing prison time... you’re going to go to prison. There is no mechanism for the person to do county time or ab109 time. There wasn’t anyways- if not now then I hope soon.  Not only is shit in my life getting worse or staying about the same.... these are how I would measure things getting better. If no one wants to take on the criminal justice system et al.... then they gonna do it for us.... that tanker exploding, houses being vaporized, examples of why their job is easier related to how everything is all naturally built. Rock and wood. Thank you!  Seriously. Our injustices and suffering is toxic. Don’t even get me started on... I give up.  If they made a commercial and then the other they doesn’t want to show it- then that’s the whole issue with everything... a representation of how they feel to send a message to their peers and parent s and the world.... would be the representation to show. Shit- send it to the queen and to New Zealand. Ha they may be able to like hunger game our TVs and laptops and phones....  you should see me in the crown! Oh I saw for a glimpse- thank you... please remember to cry over people and not rocks or possessions.  Crying cause you don’t have milk to spill ain’t the same... and humans are different from any species because we live to care for another or others.... only until someone feels they are making a difference do they feel that true inner peace... in whatever way that is to be a reality in your life, coaching, driving a pregnant lady to the hospital as an uber driver, creating fabric that isn’t see through upon stretching cause the angle doesn’t allow for a mirror to reveal such... see not even posted and everyone already knows.... ha! I haven’t searched for it and I won’t.  I heard about it on the news. So I look forward to seeing it broadcast as an fcc no cost freely given this will make the world better shown commercial at various prime times until there’s a difference woe laws or change made that since we can’t say were savory for the cool send sour guns cause in other countries... the humility of thank you may still be shown from their leaders. Like- they acknowledge these things... what do you think a knight or dame is? A sticker you wear??no- it’s earned and then maintained I think.  It’s like something that takes a lifetime or is something you aspire to become - as the ones before were that for or to you. We may not have... but we do have the examples from foreign leaders. I know a chef that has been knighted. I know sir Elton John. Females our media leaves out in a way... or they do so becuase we lie. I dunno. Google it.  Their internet is .uk I believe.  Lemme tel you about the time I got on the Vatican’s direct website and got suspended from the library again! Ugh! Ok. I love you. I pray you don’t have bad dreams. And sometimes I suffer with my gym bad just so I’ll feel safe. Or a fraction of what I’ve felt as safe- before.  Haha ;) it’s like ok bye, no you hang up. No you go to sleep....  you know.... I have one copy and it’s for you. Just saying.... not trying to bring about but success through preparedness means.... did you know that I believe the Pope is able to Marry someone who is in heaven and someone who is on earth in the event that it’s like that kind of ... situation in the states where like can’t even be friends and not get hate crimed.



That a word as a noun can mean and have a totally different level of confusion placed upon that word as a verb?  Vet for example versus vetting- so the one is a doctor of veterinarian medicine whilst the verb part means to basically like fact check someone or to make sure they are who they are.... like... I mean I knew there was something like that but does this mean I’m confused or does it mean filtered internet or does it mean... like who investigates the kickback scenario if a federal supreme taco?  Oh I meant court justice!  I spoke to this already... broken ass English speaking am I one drop and/or am I drone considering ‘insert million dollar word here- because that’s a lot of research’s and legalities to argue and vet the meaning of some of this shit’ Of the states.

Yes,  Cheesecake Factory is the only restaurant that has their menu in Braille.

So I was reading instead of getting my shit together haha as... I don’t pack until I’m ready to go as I ain’t trying to contribute to my stuff getting stolen if you know what I am getting at. Speaking of... this thing had said that more blacks and Latinos were stopped and searched... and I be like... I’m not reaching I don’t believe when is mention the California demographics- and all I’m saying is that that’s what comprises the LAPD right?   Or is it... more then that?   There are.... a lot of things that go into play here especially when someone may look like... but then be... and it’s just frustrating.  So what I recommend is what I was told to do.... when pulled over et all... call like dispatch or the LAPD or Sherriff’s non emergency number... and ask if those officers ‘...’ are on duty/actually officers to be honest... like I’m not trippin. When I was in San Ho they like were real nervous about why I would be asking for that... like for real. They actually refused a few times and aren’t allowed to do that... it’s like... I get the nerves and blah blah blah... but what I know more then that is... kidnapping and violence and I don’t want to ring the alarm and all but remember the DC sniper?  Like- shit was real.... everybody was getting shot up... and mostly while pumping gas for there car!  I’m just saying....  I dunno if the gravitational pull took affect or what... but you would think that would be like the hello hello... and hey not so much.... like I’m so thankful that our politicians now whatever’s but I don’t who those individuals were or were not. But- I would hate to think that some ‘pee-ons’ were... or weren’t or I dunno. But that was like when I was in high school.

How can you not give up numbers like I know exist.... if you think that someone of the like hero’s that I’ve met that are hero’s no matter what... like the numbers exist. Just are you going to think someone is lying when they hand you this big ass long ass list of lives they say have been lost and not reported. Cause I’m pissed that something like that could happen in our country/the states and haven’t been made aware.   Like- most people think that kind of stuff is over to be honest.  Like- that it straight up doesn’t happen anymore or that like gangsters paradise belongs in the Smithsonian instead of the public’s access.  Remember the paperwork reduction act.... I’m pissed that President Clinton went pro per and I don’t know unless I just didn’t know he had an attorney.  Also... like if a gun is fired in a Court room that’s like a big grey area... cause that isn’t reported.  Sadly I think more people in handcuffs die by gun violence then anyone in whatever way shape or form.  )

I do love the rent stabilization for the next decade.  Like- how phenomenal... out of Towners that are coming with tons of money... sounds like credit card debt to me... like I had some after freshman year of college and I didn’t fucking have party type invites or situations in high school. Ever- never... lie.  The one time I did I was supposed to be a statistic but thankfully... all was well I think.  Omg if any of you guys like had to pay out of pocket for being kind to me- I’ll be not happy. I didn’t drink and drive when my tires just came off.... like I swear they were so ready for that.. don’t bombers like to see their work?  I can’t remember.... but all I’m saying is my dad was like right there when I called him to tell him I had a flat tire. Not to mention that the setup was real- kind of. Like- to say that they bought me a car a year in advance just for me to be able to ‘get used’ to the car or accustomed to it... would be perfect woe is me time on my 16th birthday.  Ewwww all that attention and... I’m not digressing but I am... like cause I know that something is up or I wouldn’t have those people on my mind kind of in a way of I wasn’t really as aware of even what my best friend has gone through and barely put the facts together in a way of... like ain’t no way I was walking around. Homeless and then extradited to San ho and all of this shit... there is no way!  And then I’m like... what a trap city and my moms picture on a motorcycle as a kiddo with like galoshes or something on was hanging up in the lobby of this random car tow station. And look- I hope your shit doesn’t get towed there cause it’s all bad and all I mean is the business hours they operate under.


What’s that one America Ferrera movie where’s she goes to Beverly Hills high school and like the sweat shops... I am so sorry KLG- not trying to stir shit up