Monday, August 28, 2017
Does no one else watch the news?
No! Either then or now- it's really hard to find, probably even for those who have the means to be concerned with what we are doing in New Orleans? Did we have time to evacuate our old ass tech and computers and nonsense and.... I don't know... but what systems are being utilized by those to whom this is a life- not a fucking business. I get it- but it's frustrating when the police cars in new Orleans were literally drones.... back up plan they weren't sure would.... well good thing there was only someone standing on the side of the road trying to flag them down with a mom and an actual baby- I mean a person is worth it.... but let the drones be the eyes.... huh? not where I'm at.... but other places its happening... Like- where are they now? And pseudo people gotta go! No more- its all crazy making! And and anti whatever that's actually being whatever by actual people and shit will get real weird for everyone.... oh wait..... it already is has and will continue to until we start thinking about the depression after the violence.... I mean Texas is like what the fuck.... I know so is boston... but with all these explorers can't something actually just be done to say that 'yes, as an educated person telling me the most undermining thing you can say about another person or a group or whatever is that- oh they are on drugs.' Literally- its so fucking pointing the finger with... some people don't have the sense to consider that they might be the wrong ones and part of the problem by just being too good to think of a person as a person.... Para transit people I hate that you cant see what I see when I'm on the cal-train or on the bart.... I'm thankful they have the buses for you but hate that you don't get the experience--- but then the handsome and wealthy would have to deal with you you? Well, the tax dollars already are, and have been.... so step up. and literally- it's so stupid that whatever it is it is.... and Yes- sadly we blew the hell up out of another country as the trigger happy youngings? I don't know... but glad the new Disney land is going so well...
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Internet Explorer...
Internet explorer is the only supported browser at the public
library I’m at- everyone knows it’s the least secure and mind you I can’t even
fucking find the refresh button… literally it doesn’t exist. I’m so annoyed that this is how it is for
people- I mean, I am so thankful that I have never been in a position to
discredit, judge, condone, hate on, violate, or disregard the regard for a
human life in thought, word or deed the way so many people have… I mean, not
only that but they have created legislation, computer programs/tech, or be in
authoritative roles to just be total assholes and act like the person sleeping
on the sidewalk is exactly what I say they think… today is a total example… they
have no regard for me or anyone as a person or even… I once did a presentation
on Physician Assisted Suicide in support for the idea as a…. sometimes, and in
all ways I am/people are more humane to their animals then they are people or
their family…. I know that I don’t know anyone who has shaken their dog to
death but I’ll be a human to be regarded when I say I’ve been a part of saving
such as a Registered Nurse…. Literally, I’m creating that first person for
you…. In my presentation I said, ‘I am not sure what actual drugs/substances
are prescribed/given/ dispensed… whatever in the actual process for humans… I
said I don’t know. I personally love
that- an officer will probably make up some shit as something they are though
to do then say that as a way of maintaining their authority or something that
I’m calling bullshit on…. A person who also did a presentation on this had to
one up me… she said I think the information Josh was lacking was that they are
‘Benzo’s.’ That’s what is prescribed…..
sorry bitch, I didn’t like you then, I don’t like you now… but it’s more
related to your closed minded way of thinking…. Why in the hell when we have
paralytics, sedatives, benzo’s, a whole medical practice that is anesthesia-
analgesia, this is from google/wiki I think- I had to look it up so I could get
it right or correct for the assholes too busy covering their asses to actually
make a difference vs discredit me….. In the practice of medicine (especially surgery and
dentistry), anesthesia or anesthesia is a state of temporary induced loss of
sensation or awareness. It may include analgesia (relief from or prevention of
pain), paralysis (muscle relaxation), amnesia (loss of memory), or
unconsciousness.
So
that person is an example of everything I’m not…. I don’t know that what I
presented on then is anything like this.
I hope so if it exists but I don’t know for sure… but the whole ‘benzo’s’ thing just twerks or
tweeks me in the wrong way… sorry for being stellar. The class was living with loss- a person
literally spoke about the death of her dog and sending someone sympathy cards
which she didn’t receive but wished she had--- I was a wreck and couldn’t
handle it so I kinda laughed it off like an asshole I am just because I
couldn’t lose it before I presented mine… I am so terrified of getting up in
front of people…. Well I was then… I kinda am now only because I am not
terrified of being wrong… I’m terrified of presenting mis-information or for
example I love being gay. I love
everything about it (granted I love it even more than I did in Alabama or when
I kid because I know what it is to be able to ‘be’ and be totally safe and
protected. I will advocate for that all
day- but, I also know that a parent, after their child tells them they are gay
or ‘different’ could kill that same person. It’s happened, happens, and will
stop. But, that’s where I get nervous-
should I run for President or Senate would do it as me…. Literally nothing more
or less. San Jose is a perfect example of everything I fear only in actuality. I heard that empathy is dead or dying in the
Bay Area. It’s so bad that I think some
people are drone robots incapable of just feeling… when I was a kid my mom and
I were on the way somewhere there was an older woman doing yard work- looking
back I she’s was perfectly capable and fine… but I said to my mom, Oh that poor
lady- will you take me back to help her?
I think my mom literally felt the emotion I was feeling in my eyes. She said, oh she’s ok- she might enjoy it….
I’m speaking generally but from what I’ve experienced that whole scenario makes
me weak or something… I like it. I still
feel that way- and when I see violence decreased but suffering increasing I get
so overwhelmed that I can’t function… cause what is all this for then. It’s universal and under reported and not
categorized correctly because compare
So in the interest of justice or lack of whatever I’m posting
random things like this- it’s a message I sent to a person, a human life about what’s
happening in my day
Person……(Yes sorry. I was driving between errands on the way
home) Was this persons reply to me which I got today, but the time stamp from
google voice which I use on the windows machine at the public library says I
received it yesterday at 1621
ME….. today…It’s so weird how the texting for google voice
works- like it says I received/you sent that reply at 4:21 or 1621 yet- I
didn't leave the library until 1700. I
was talking about libel- not liable... sorry.
Person….(I don't know why there is a delay but sorry that it
didn't reach you before you left. I am at work ………… What is happening in SF for
you today? Are you finding anywhere to sleep?)
ME……-lol well I sleep by the bay bridge... it's beautiful. Literally
it lights up at night- im scared of the dark and was just attacked... its been
fine until I blogged about.... today three officers came around and totally
harassed me.... I told them about my attack and that I was the victim and that
I was terrified I might have killed/harmed one of them and they said that self
defense wasn't the case and that I was not a victim.... good thing they are
just enforcers of the law and not interpreters right? But anyways, I will still
go back there tonight cause its where I feel safest and they aren't around when
you need them and if they are they are probably the problem.... apparently that
is 'port' property and though there is no signage they were informing/educating
me as such.... but, I think they are totally incompetent so....
Here’s some updates in other matters….
How to get a copy of your library suspension paperwork
Becky Moskowitz
<Becky.Moskowitz@lawfoundation.org>
2:35 PM (20 hours ago)
to me
Dear Mr. Ray,
I contacted the East San Jose Carnegie Branch Library and
asked them to provide us with a copy of your suspension paperwork. The Branch Manager, Aleta Dimas, said that
you can either email her at Aleta.Dimas@sjlibrary.org or call her at
1-408-808-3075 to arrange a time to either pick up your paperwork, or ask her
to email it to you. You can also call
Senior Security Officer Lee Pendleton at 408-808-2048 to request this
information.
If you are unable to do this, Ms. Dimas told me that I should
make a Public Records Request for the information. I don’t know how long it will take to get a
response this way. I think that we will
get the information sooner if you request that they email it to you. Please let me know, if you have questions or
problems. Also, please let me know if
you want me to make the Public Records Request.
Thank you,
Becky Moskowitz | Senior Attorney
Health Legal Services | Mental Health Advocacy Project
becky.moskowitz@lawfoundation.org | p 408.280.2487 | f 408.350.1158
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
Advancing Justice in Silicon Valley
152 North Third Street, 3rd Floor
San Jose, California 95112
www.lawfoundation.org
Joshua Ray <jray3401@gmail.com>
2:55 PM (19 hours ago)
to Becky
I guess I will just post this on my blog and let someone call
for me... cause I don't have a phone.... and I don't know what else to do....
I've already emailed someone at library administration downtown whom informed
me about my first hearing for the paperwork... which is where administration
for the San Jose Public Library system is... and no reply...
Best,
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
Becky Moskowitz
<Becky.Moskowitz@lawfoundation.org>
3:17 PM (19 hours ago)
to me
Dear Mr. Ray,
I can understand your frustration that no one replied to your
prior email. Now that I already
contacted Aleta Dimas, she will likely be more responsive. Ms. Dimas said that you can email her at
Aleta.Dimas@sjlibrary.org and ask her to email you a copy of your suspension
paperwork. Could you please try emailing
her to request the suspension information and let me know that you did it? If you want, you can CC me on the email. I can follow up with her, if she doesn’t
respond to you within a reasonable time.
Once she responds, please forward me her email, so I can read it and
discuss next steps with you.
Based on Ms. Dimas’s response to me, I don’t think they will
give the information to someone else calling on your behalf unless you are
available to talk with Ms. Dimas or Mr. Pendleton directly. Therefore, I recommend that you email her.
Thank you,
Becky Moskowitz | Senior Attorney
Health Legal Services | Mental Health Advocacy Project
becky.moskowitz@lawfoundation.org | p 408.280.2487 | f 408.350.1158
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
Advancing Justice in Silicon Valley
152 North Third Street, 3rd Floor
San Jose, California 95112
www.lawfoundation.org
From: Joshua Ray [mailto:jray3401@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2017 2:55 PM
To: Becky Moskowitz
Subject: Re: How to get a copy of your library suspension
paperwork
Joshua Ray <jray3401@gmail.com>
10:06 AM (44 minutes ago)
to Becky
Also- why did you contact that branch? I don't think your getting it- the point is
that technically I don't access to 'this' in the entire County of Santa Clara-
as you yourself noted.... I don't have a phone because per the free phone
people I can't use 80 s market as an address because too many people get their
mail there. So because I am banned from the library, and that is the place I
know to go also that reliably has a payphone I can use then I can't even call
them in that manner... never mind the fact that I am literally dependent on
'free meals' from the salvation army, et al... and getting the in between
nutrition as best I can... so being that I don't have the change for a phone
call and they don't have a 1-800 number and the uplift pass I have doesn't
technically get you out of the County of Santa Clara.... the fact that you are
an attorney being paid and billing Ryan White and wanting me to literally do
things that aren't possible without me putting myself in harms way after
already being attacked and spending 30 days in jail for j-walking, etc. makes
me so disappointed...
Best,
Josh
Joshua Ray <jray3401@gmail.com>
11:04 AM (23 hours ago)
to Becky
Thank you! May I ask
what your billable hours are and the cost- it pertains to Ryan White?
Best,
Joshua Ray
Becky Moskowitz <Becky.Moskowitz@lawfoundation.org>
11:07 AM (23 hours
ago)
to me
We don’t charge clients for our services. I don’t know how much we bill grants for our
hourly rate. Why does Ryan White need
this information? If I know more about
what they are looking for, I can try to track down the information you need.
Becky Moskowitz | Senior Attorney
Health Legal Services | Mental Health Advocacy Project
becky.moskowitz@lawfoundation.org | p 408.280.2487 | f 408.350.1158
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
Advancing Justice in Silicon Valley
152 North Third Street, 3rd Floor
San Jose, California 95112
www.lawfoundation.org
Please tell me that someone gets my issue- a private attorney
that essentially makes the same in my mind- or is worth more to me wouldn’t
evade these questions the way she is and also would have gotten shit done and
even be thinking ahead at like well this is what we’re going to do…. We’re
going to I don’t know file a billion dollar law suit, call the newspaper, have
the California District Attorney or Homeland Security or whatever…. It would be
a totally different story… At the end of the day (wordiness Ms. Kardashian
West- per the GRE), she gets paid from whatever… I don’t think she has earned a
dime… literally if anything she’s a totally distraction and by me having to
email her and etc when time is everything cause I’m at 8 minutes remaining at
library 1…. Going to lunch- thank you….
Yes, I’m homeless how he going to lunch?
Please see yourself away from my blog asshole… same thing with my
family. They not only because I’m gay
think I’m less of a person and or not a person at all/whatever… but additionally
feel a need to be so worried they just be sick to death… literally Munchhausen
syndrome by proxy,…. Anyways- trust when I say I know what I’m talking
about. I’ve looked into getting a
restraining orfer and kinda hinted at that through messages just in case some
of their friends or Oprah was nice enough to help them instead o fme or
whatever and…. Point is- I’m where I am for a reason not pertaining to them at
all though they jus tbe so worried and are making all this trouble that when I
call them out, like I did my mom when I was in jail for a month she said, ‘oh
no, why would you think that? Or I
didn’t even think about that.’ Funny
thing about people who don’t things through, huh? How were the narc counts at work today? Off?
Were you the one to save the day or go out of your way to ‘help?’ Funny thing about your way of helping,
eh? Point is the same person- said,
you’re homeless…. Implying that my calling them out about either coming to
check up on me/hitching a ride on a friends private aircraft, or whatever… see
how she took away my right to even be a person with that statement. Which is an actual thought process and how
some members of my family feel about me, sadly some even that accept my faggot
ass. Ugh, ……and at library 2- I skipped
around to finish some thoughts…. So I went to St. Anthony’s- love it. In SF it’s on Golden Gate at the 400 block….
You cant miss it. They have lunch 7 days
a week starting at 11:30. They have
non-propaganda like they do in SF that has a list of 0places that serve people
meals and also their menu in case you have dietary preferences or whatever…
that’s for the handsome and wealthy if you know what I mean…. But whatever….
Anyways- I was telling someone about City Team and literally the man behind me
just didn’t like me as a person. He was
like ‘Go!’ and I said, ‘Go where?’ I mean he had already stepped on my heals
once- and so the fact that the wanted me to do the same was just a clue at how
clueless this nigga, sand nigga, wet back, (that’s all I got- please if you
know more hate terms don’t share them with me…. I don’t want more then that in
my mind/thought process I’ll know it when I see or hear it… I mean I didn’t
learn Sand Nigga until the re-ent6ry enter in San Jose. The Sand nigga just took it from honestly I
think an employee of the re-entry centers son… you know school was still in at
the time and whatever…. Cause the lady of course didn’t apologize to the sand
nigga but she gave the ‘kid’ the mom look like you wouldn’t believe… the kind
of look that honestly may have gotten him an ambulance ride or a ticket to 6
feet under…. Who am I kidding…. The bay area is literally disgusting when it
comes to that… it’s a nightmare… a man literally chopped up his neighbor and
was dissolving his remains in acid or something in his back yard- this is an
actual court case…. Additionally St. Anthony’s has these awesome phone
chargers… they are lock boxes with the connector’s inside/adaptors or hookups
or whatever…. Like the smaller hotel version of lockboxes that make too much
sense for life. (going back to the bottom to finish… I’ve got 32 minutes)
Also- I want to see if on the .org they have salaries
posted…. Double or nothing she makes over $500,000 per year… are people worth
that yes, I love extravagance and when I have my condo in SF with a view of the
bay bridge with it on my right and a Bentley SUV I will not feel bad but will
load that shit up with northface Cat’s Meow’s and pass it out to anyone that
wants it… or whatever else I need to do or want to do… who knows… that may be
my heaven…. At this rate and the way things are I’ll still be trying to get
the…. There will not be a policy and procedure for banning people from the
library… It will be a thing we used to do- until we thought about people with
trauma, veteran status, malfunctioning hearing aids, and all this related to
access…. Compare hospital beds in Northern cali to Southern Cali…. LA has
access honey. Here, people die, children
are murdered, and no one’s cares and people and parents get away with it
because of access and no one in public schools and all this shit…. A library is
a life line… but to ban someone cause they loud to be able to ‘do whatever just
cause’ is a reason to say- why was that person loud…. Here the bathrooms were
closed because of a clog…. Well, I said you realize this may cause someone to
pee on a wall, have you announced it overhead?
No. OK perfect… I’m making you
aware that you only have one set of bathrooms on one floor which have been
closed for over one hour and you haven’t annou8ncedit in any way and yet you’re
being a total jerk to people who are making this an issue or giving you
attitude and I don’t think it’s right, and the attitude you’re giving me shows
that you literally could give a fuck about anyone or anything… and should be
fired. Ok, I didn’t say all that but
that’s what we both took away from the conversation in my mind.
To my people that try to do anything- think about the time
constraints I’m talking about. And just
the whatever…. Literally go to your local library or whatever and see what’s
available… literally try to write me email or something like what I’m doing,
whether you think I’m a problem, or my future mister, or my biggest fan, or
someone who wants to see my do intravenous drugs just so you can take my
regrown virginity… whatever…
I think that people are worth so much more then
‘compromising’ myself… but not really- remember Bre walking in on her son with
the other dude and her son was hot… but um imagine the ‘for your own good’ that
can come out of that when I tell you that PICU nurses at level 1 trauma centers
in areas of access can attest to people being set on fire (remember that kid
that made the news a few years ago or whatever? People being locked in closets,
cut off in their own communities, dad’s literally punching their sons in their
privates so hard they can’t have children as adults…) So no, I didn’t keep that person behind me
from a meal even though I felt so threatened I was nervous but at the same time
they have awesome security who literally thank goodness to their always on
system were so on top of it… I knew it, he knew it, and I’m sorry that I didn’t
formally address it from a taking up for faggot’s point of view- but remember…
people and blog before me…. My LLC I have formed on Legal Zoom, but not paid
for yet is ironically JFR Enterprises, LLC.
I didn’t watch the new star trek or whatever until like after that…. It
speaks to me and what I’m or have been doing… Just what they did in the movie-
they didn’t or weren’t supposed to intervene just explore or discover or
something…. I’ve done that and will continue to do so… but this library thing
I’m trying to do is probably worth a lot more….. so chronic users will look for
like $10 worth of drugs or something… same thing with one beer at a time… ok
fine I’ll take $1000 worth…. Drug
dealing and business and legit-ness and corruption and illegitimates… it’s all
out of the box thinking that is just too much for some to think about or
consider which is… why I’m glad ding bat Kelly Ripa got a raise cause when she
said Oprah says pounds after going out on her show in a dress she couldn’t
breathe in…. I mean hey, either she had a burrito, a salad and her husband
turned her out, or she had an appendix issue…. But damn bitch- can we tackle Oprah
says don’t spank your child first? Ok, billionaires, my $5million price tag
wasn’t enough… I get it… but to say I need $15 million would mean that you
would look for a return on your investment or something… I’m not sure… but if
that’s the case then yeah- I’m not a good investment. But, I’m holding out for that person that
cares for people, for justice, for equality, for what I’ve talked about
happening and
Here is more email chains…
Becky Moskowitz
<Becky.Moskowitz@lawfoundation.org>
11:32 AM (3 hours ago)
to me
Dear Mr. Ray,
I am sorry you are disappointed. To answer your question, the reason that I
contacted that branch is because the County’s library suspension policy says
that the branch that starts the suspension is supposed to keep a copy of the
suspension paperwork. Therefore, that
branch is the one we need to get it from.
I realize that you do not have a phone now and that
transportation may be an issue. That’s
why Ms. Dimas said that it would be ok for you to email her at
Aleta.Dimas@sjlibrary.org and ask her to email you a copy of your suspension
paperwork. Given that you have been
emailing me, I thought that this would be possible for you to do.
I believe that Ms. Dimas is wrong about me being able to
request the paperwork for you through a Public Records Act Request. I believe that your suspension from the library
is not a public record. If you want me
to get a copy of the suspension paperwork through the Public Records Act
process, it will likely take weeks or months to get a response. I also think that the response will be that
the County cannot give me the paperwork.
I know that you want to get this problem fixed as quickly as
possible. Therefore, the easiest and
fastest way for us to get your suspension paperwork is if you send an email to
Ms. Dimas with the following text:
To: Aleta.Dimas@sjlibrary.org
RE: Request for library suspension paperwork
Text: Dear Ms. Dimas,
I am writing to request that you please email me a copy of my
library suspension paperwork. Please
also email me copies of any paperwork related to having a hearing about my library
suspension, and when and under what conditions I can return to the library.
Thank you,
Joshua Ray, DOB: 9/13/1986
Please cut and paste the email that I drafted above and send
it to Ms. Dimas. Please forward her
response to me. If she does not respond,
please let me know and I will follow up with her.
Also, your intake with our office says that your only
“income” is food stamps. Is this
true? Have you applied for General
Assistance or other cash benefits such as Unemployment Insurance or Disability
benefits? Do you need more information
about how to apply for benefits?
Sincerely,
Becky Moskowitz | Senior Attorney
Health Legal Services | Mental Health Advocacy Project
becky.moskowitz@lawfoundation.org | p 408.280.2487 | f 408.350.1158
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
Advancing Justice in Silicon Valley
152 North Third Street, 3rd Floor
San Jose, California 95112
www.lawfoundation.org
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQMTJm5a57S_TzH7-Xku4C-x4eDCDJ9KfrPmYrZYpX3YR43y_eNB105Czefhttps://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ3yIlFXSlTqZWU3S43CNfJWtEcDPA8YpVg67wdEDdRMJwwQphxOGQl6LHY
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http://www.audubonaction.org/images/content/pagebuilder/YouTube-Button.png
Button Example
From: Joshua Ray [mailto:jray3401@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 10:07 AM
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQMTJm5a57S_TzH7-Xku4C-x4eDCDJ9KfrPmYrZYpX3YR43y_eNB105Czefhttps://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ3yIlFXSlTqZWU3S43CNfJWtEcDPA8YpVg67wdEDdRMJwwQphxOGQl6LHYhttps://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTp1yT_5UVBHycb75IzbCzjF7a36USh7a9Vwvy-6bgoHUcOZEk5F67XoEJihttp://www.audubonaction.org/images/content/pagebuilder/YouTube-Button.pngButton
Example
cid:3CB05B46-1017-4C1F-9933-0CE3DD3A88EC@hsd1.ca.comcast.net.
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Example
Joshua Ray <jray3401@gmail.com>
2:38 PM (0 minutes ago)
to Becky
Some people in some places have literally
never left their city, county, or block- either because of comfort, means, or
etc... So I'm being an asshole and not meaning to... but I am
appreciative. It's just that this is
such a huge national issue....
So I did it- I still haven’t heard from Karla with the DA’s office
and the Victims relief fund or whatever…
Like- why does internet explorer keep asking me to bring up a
monopoly between them and chrome…. It auto asks if I want to upgrade and no the
fuck I don’t want to because I can’t… but what is your problem? J
Library 3 session 3 going on 4….
going to dinner at city team.... then... I was warned today by three pigs who completely disrespected my right to exist and also didn't give me anything to identify them.... but I was warned after they told me I didn't exist and they might take me downtown to finger print me...
I wish they would have offered to fuck me first... but yeah- I kinda need a shower.. :0 but yes they were hot...
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Oh, word up to not
having that crazy cut/copy/paste guard thing on the computers here in SF.
Makes my life so much easier- and further makes me question a city/college
library in one and also that university… I mean, blackboard or whatever
software does the plagiarism check… I don’t get it unless it has something to
do with coding and then I say, ‘Bitch, we are in a recession or depression, or
something that the light rail Milpitas and then to Mountain View to the great
mail/main… Literally, shit has looked that way since I was in San Jose 18
months ago…. These buildings in SF I don’t know about…. I know I really want a
home and home office on one of the highest floors facing the bay bridge with it
being on your right as I look out the windows cause I will probably not leave
for a while….I mean I just had to spend the night in San Jose after leaving an
appointment caseu I was scared of a person coming out of nowhere with a golf
club. Considering the police and sheriffs haven’t gotten a statement from
me, I was in the hospital for four days, there is a report number with it…. Yet
this person has been confrontation with me o9n a vta bus, then was in SF on the
streets with me, then at city team across the dinner table from me makes me so
angry that even the DA’s office has contacted me about victims relief….. that’s
great but that happens when I can settle this…. Literally, I didn’t have my
glasses yet at the time of the attack…. But what if I killed someone she cares
about? Self-defense, etc…. it’s all secondary to me to the bullshit that
is everything I’m talking. I can’t stand it- I have a high regard for
human life, like the man that I think died outside of the SF library 34 days
ago…. I was lounging, had been there for like 6 minutes literally when 2
security guards went to him first, bu ti think I was their target if you know
what I mean…. But, they had to call EMS ad he was not responsive…. Like it may
have changed once they got there with ammonia- a psych ward thing to see if a
patient is really coding or not before you literally alert the whole hospital
that a human life is in need of saving…. Anyways, he died I think. Cause
2 days later when I was lounging, flat with one of my bags/baggage behind my
head, 2 guards came by, didn’t reprimand me, but asked/wanted to make sure I
was ok…. I was like, omg he died didn’t he… they acted like I didn’t know or
they didn’t know (please keep playing dumb to further undermine yourself, your
authority, and…to me it’s not hipaa…. It further strengthens my closed system
belief and keeping people out of the loop but sharing within your loop on a not
need to know basis… thank goodness I’ve got The Chainsmokers and Ultra in my
ears…. I answered emails, sent a few, looked for messages from my family-
nothing though they don’t want to read anout themselves here…. But what am I to
do… what happens or happened, what was actually, what people know, what people
think they know and how that pertains to present day is a thing to discuss when
they are causing harm… or being butt hurt…. (anything but hurt, it somehow is
about worrying also- I just be so worried….. well continue with that while I’m
out here trying to ‘be the old me’ in a world you don’t know when the new is
the old and yet your own confusion is the reason for all this worry and
nonsense that literally is like the hole the City of San Jose and Santa Clara
County has dug for its people….) They want to know details, yet
when things change they think I’m making bad decisions- um….I need a
restraining order apparently. Tell me you weren’t walking around San Jose
at times when I had asked for help replacing my glasses, yet you didn’t and the
same weekend my glasses broke were one of the first times you were here…..
Speechless… Cause it went on for months…. And months…. I don’t hae my debit
card/didn’t in October- you know this then had identity theft and a -$3000 balance
and no photo ID…. Etc. So tell me what I do and don’t know and how it
took me getting attacked, after everything else to get you to order me some
glasses from Zenni that you may have been able to pick up the phone and say
‘Oh, they broke and there is a warranty’ so can I get them for free- they
probably picked up the tab for shipping…. Too bad I let you order them for me
when I was in hospital a year ago the first time instead of you sending me the
money on paypal- and my using my paypal card….. People this is a must for
college or traveling…. It’s not sketchy when someone you care about is in need
and you can send money online with a credit card, debit card, or go to a store
and buy a card ot load cash onto it…. The person (if not banned from from library)
can log on and create a pin to get cash back, etc. The only thing
is that you need to have the card and account already set up for the above to
literally happen in 30 minutes. Not the glasses part, the
money/cash part. Also, like you see with that example- another reason why
your family can do way more harm and still think they are the victums- indian
givers, lack or power, control, and a need to have a problem child, a fat kid,
or a success symobol, and now or soon to be a brand…. But guess what, I will
still pick him first every time all the time. Billion dollar prenup or
not or whatever….. his family may need that…. It can be there in writing with
the clause at the bottom saying that I wont want it if that happens and the
energy of that…. Is something I can live with when you think about his family
protecting themselves from their new in-laws…. Jesus. But, I’ll give it
to my kids… or something…. I can make my own way in life and starting over wll
never happen again for me…. It’s not really happening now- but moving forward
as one will be the next and final long ass chapter that may literally be 60
years’ worth of the happiest time I know… the years part is the maybe part….
Ugh- I went to lunch
at St. Anthony’s-one of the staff/volunteers replied after I thanked her- No,
thank you for coming for if you didn’t then who would? How fabulous.
Truly.
Thankfully at a
different library related to the time limits, etc… and being frustrated for not
being diligent and saving my work, etc….. Hey, private attorneys, tech, etc and
privacy- eh, its prized either way….. if I worked within the limits or was used
to the I probably wouldn’t be here.
Seriously, I get it but just like Judge Mable said outside the library
when I was informed about some of their policy and procedure for suspending and
banning poieple from the library…. The next day was when the man was taken the
hospital I’m still thinking about…. Anyway, thanks to the next episode…..
After being attacked and
them taking my stuff, again wether it was the same people or not the first time
in LA- literally it’s intentional and not nice.
It’s just something your family would do…. A long slow lock you in the
closet, I can’t stand the sight of you, bruises, being chased around the house
by an angry parent or caregiver, (mom I’m hungry) the reply I got…. Hi hungry,
I’m linda…. Or a role your own at dinner time when your brother has already
eaten with his dad and well my mom loves to just smoke and snack so…. Being mean
or whatever that is has a secondary energy that is something only true evil can
bring….kinda like a rape…. Its not about the sex…. My sexual assault in
riverside was kinda like that- though initallu I was interested…. I was sassy and
then not attracked after an insult and then they were like, oh no this person
who doesn’t look like his pic’s isn’t going to say no to me/us…. Yeah, how’d
that turn out for you? I mean for me it
totally sucks and is something that even when I am in a safe and secure home/space
that I own in the sky in SF with the bay bridge on the right side…. The point
is now at every turn I fear a person coming at me with a golf club or gun and me
dying or someone innocent being hurt instead and me not being able to vote for
Kim Kardashian West, tackle the library issue, tackle the corrupt .org’s, re-do
the nonprofit realm of…. No- stop it.,…. Or at least in Santa Clara County….
Its bah-scusting and in away reminds me
of what a family will do sometimes…. Oh, here’s a nonprofit legal advocacy
group that is literally comprised of ivy league degrees that pay above fair
market value in the bay…. Hunni bye…. And guess who foots the bill? Ryan white…. And then they don’t do anything and
its been weeks and nothing…. Like this is me being a responsible consumer….. as in…. its the same bullshit or run around a
family/mine has done to me…. Just in the same city…
So I was attacked and
then got my glasses after being with out them for months… my family was walking
around the same city to check up on me and two close calls and then…. Opps my
glasses are broken and are just a consequence of circumstance when you sleep
outside and have the secondary energy of knowing something is up or whatever…. And
having to deal with that, and try to get your shit together, and try to still just
be human….
So baby pull me closer
in the backseat of your rover… so you’re pissed you’re an undercover, I outed
you, and you’ve been…. Shut up fool.
Hey, it’s a possibility though.
Not the chainsmokers, the .orgs I can’t stand… Hey, my mister- thanks
for the night light last night. I’m back
in the city and have my normal one back.
I love you. Mutually. (that’s an ellen thing.) anyone see her on a cover this month and then
the hottie on golf digest?
Hey, I have a computer
in LA.. just cant get to it- I bough tit myself, just literally don’t have the
desire to do anything but blog about my family and their bullshit and then
their willingness to literally be complete assholes… Hey, can you please help
me get back to LA. (They literally told the sherriff’s, I have family that works
for the sherriff and it’s a huge issue as to- need to know, etc. when someone
says ‘no.’ to the help question. No No
No… so you know what happened, you even did things that were supposed to ‘help’
me but were behind the scenes or are just bitter about the things you couldn’t control
which would be about the same if you could put a number value on such…so my
after helping me, handle what I need to by me spending a week in jail, for starters,
now going through all the inbetween…. Knowing all of it as either totally or just
by what I’m telling you or the sequence of events… for you to still say
no. Damn, hi hungry. Ugh.
literally fucking hackers....
it's scary to think you fake billionaires don't pay taxes, give money to fake entities that don't do tort law, etc.... yet, hmmm who is gonna hurt the most in the future- you're right, not you... it's the person on the street. It's a human life that's not your problem. that's what I can't fucking stand... I get helping people in the ways that are whatever- but in my world all this nonprofit/I'm sure there is a limit for how much can be written off as in the Bill and Melinda Gate's Foundation.... they already get a married people right/write off and they have kids, so college reimbursed, and a nonprofit to cover taxes combined with business' to write other expenses off like company cars, lunches, dinners, etc. Meanwhile, those tax dollars could be someone's EBT/food stamp dollars, etc. I get it- I have no idea what I'm talking about....but one of your non-profits has really done nothing for me... in a way of I need a phone/iphone/ipad.... its a my shit kinda deal- of it's none of your business other then your nonprofit says, 'oh we don't provide that because of the free phone program.' Ok, well thanks... but those people are telling me.... oh wait... sister and parent companies can be so much more friendly then actually humans and human family members.
I do love you. Stop acting like it's something it's not. Just like when I have my prison in the sky, home, office, space, etc- literally because of the two attacks and everything else... it will be home regardless. You think I am going to let some of my family members come over? Nope. Not happening- it's like Mariah and her episode of cribs.... they may see it from a magazine but that energy is not coming into my/his/our home after all the ways they have lied and literally they might put some kind of dust piece drone nonsense just because that's what they've done in the past.... no no no. So I'm saying that 'step' family members, one of my fav former co-workers and still friend who says and believes 'liars go to hell' would literally be welcomed no matter what.... see I dunno. I hope that if the choice is made to come to my home when my actual blood relative and your husband, my mom, etc. cafeteria here and my way.... then it's one that is consistent... cause for the afterforward, aforementioned period he's in charge and yes, I will always pic him... this would be such a real argument for me in away if he gives you the benefit of the doubt and encourages my whatever.... I dunno.... it's odd to be in a situation and circumstance where for the last ten months/time in san jose... literally, I am so thankful I've been to SF before... today I saw the fog roll in over city hall... I mean- thank God I remember sitting in the wharf watching it thinking it was so beautiful and creepy and hell it may not have even been the wharf.... my point is that everything else and the craziness is to much for it not to be deliberate. For example- my needing eye glasses but my family not helping me- they were $40.... oh but wait- I got Christmas money, didn't order glasses, didn't go to la like I was supposed to bc I didn't have a phone and didn't feel safe and also had like 10 warrants and was like- hold up lemme be smart.... ugh. My own family literally judging me, making me feel bad, attacking my character, telling me that I'm making bad decisions, while trying to actually figure me out? No. It's like I think google, et al. is in on it, or it's like beyond that or something....So when I send a friend on facebook- how do I know it's actually them replying and not a person.... like how do I validate that.... I'm talking more about me and my situation then I should- but SCCVMC has an office at Sobrato, they have no reason to not be everything I say and think they are as it pertains to Good Samaritan Hospital being the designated Ebola unit for SCC when all that shit was going on and not Valley or regional? HUH? I don't get it... I also don't get the heparin vs lovenox while I was in the hospital- better for homeless? better for dollas? Better for safety? Bloodblots? More specifically better for patients post pneumo- thorax? I don't know- odds are pubmed may know.... however- my feelings are after that and before that it's all a mess. I don't think it is this bad everywhere else- if it is at least if someone who is randomly reading this as a non-participant and reader will feel some resonation. (is that a word?)
I still haven't worked on my business plan- but damn everybody takes public transit these days- I love it.... but I have to blog about things first- I know it saved my life for some reason or anther bc some people don't believe in the power of 1. I do. Some people are locked in Jail cells and forced to attend programs where they watch videos that tell them they can't change things with their one grievance or complaint or issue.... well- here I am. I told them and now I'm telling the world... I was not permitted to attend the enneagram course or whatever else that if my family had their say in it- that might be considered which craft.... hey, Pell City Alabama and Springville are a long way from where I am now... but yet- with connections and conflicts of interest I can't prove and your all knowing cool kid attitude and.... well, you hit me with all this hate and actually caused physical harm, mental harm, and when I heard you hitting my niece I told you to stop it. I said- with chills on my neck- stop it. I would talk to you know who first and see if that's something she's doing or not.... I foresaw what I would have done had that been my child and not had the.... I might have walked out with my child and you to never see them again, I may have broken your jaw, shit... I tried- you argued.... who right or wrong.... it doesn't matter in a sense of.... I'm so far up the list of that was like months ago....
Ugh- I can't stand it... here come some email updates.... I'm turning 31 on the 13th. Fuck. That's ok- I'm blogging instead of actually handling shit- like the business plan, etc. I'll do that- truly.... but I think my blog is kinda my business plan. Like, I've never not been honest, or accountable or reachable... ya know. I'll figure it out- but fir I have to put this info out there so that it's there for someone else if they need it or feel alone, ya know. now some knd of shit is limiting the blogger document so that I can't backspace and then add more tech.... it like replaces it... I fucking hate it. I want a loan.... or whatever.... like literally, anything will be great.... but like $5million to make this happen in 5 years is maybe not doable... but at the same time.... anything and everything is everything. But, I will not be renting an office space or space... I will be purchasing. Cars, I'll lease. It's up to him by then I hope... but I'm still not someone without baggage that's literally repellent. Ugh- why do they have windows 10 behind the desk at the library yet I'm with windows 7 enterprise? Same thing/situation at little orchard....
literally fucking hackers....
it's scary to think you fake billionaires don't pay taxes, give money to fake entities that don't do tort law, etc.... yet, hmmm who is gonna hurt the most in the future- you're right, not you... it's the person on the street. It's a human life that's not your problem. that's what I can't fucking stand... I get helping people in the ways that are whatever- but in my world all this nonprofit/I'm sure there is a limit for how much can be written off as in the Bill and Melinda Gate's Foundation.... they already get a married people right/write off and they have kids, so college reimbursed, and a nonprofit to cover taxes combined with business' to write other expenses off like company cars, lunches, dinners, etc. Meanwhile, those tax dollars could be someone's EBT/food stamp dollars, etc. I get it- I have no idea what I'm talking about....but one of your non-profits has really done nothing for me... in a way of I need a phone/iphone/ipad.... its a my shit kinda deal- of it's none of your business other then your nonprofit says, 'oh we don't provide that because of the free phone program.' Ok, well thanks... but those people are telling me.... oh wait... sister and parent companies can be so much more friendly then actually humans and human family members.
I do love you. Stop acting like it's something it's not. Just like when I have my prison in the sky, home, office, space, etc- literally because of the two attacks and everything else... it will be home regardless. You think I am going to let some of my family members come over? Nope. Not happening- it's like Mariah and her episode of cribs.... they may see it from a magazine but that energy is not coming into my/his/our home after all the ways they have lied and literally they might put some kind of dust piece drone nonsense just because that's what they've done in the past.... no no no. So I'm saying that 'step' family members, one of my fav former co-workers and still friend who says and believes 'liars go to hell' would literally be welcomed no matter what.... see I dunno. I hope that if the choice is made to come to my home when my actual blood relative and your husband, my mom, etc. cafeteria here and my way.... then it's one that is consistent... cause for the afterforward, aforementioned period he's in charge and yes, I will always pic him... this would be such a real argument for me in away if he gives you the benefit of the doubt and encourages my whatever.... I dunno.... it's odd to be in a situation and circumstance where for the last ten months/time in san jose... literally, I am so thankful I've been to SF before... today I saw the fog roll in over city hall... I mean- thank God I remember sitting in the wharf watching it thinking it was so beautiful and creepy and hell it may not have even been the wharf.... my point is that everything else and the craziness is to much for it not to be deliberate. For example- my needing eye glasses but my family not helping me- they were $40.... oh but wait- I got Christmas money, didn't order glasses, didn't go to la like I was supposed to bc I didn't have a phone and didn't feel safe and also had like 10 warrants and was like- hold up lemme be smart.... ugh. My own family literally judging me, making me feel bad, attacking my character, telling me that I'm making bad decisions, while trying to actually figure me out? No. It's like I think google, et al. is in on it, or it's like beyond that or something....So when I send a friend on facebook- how do I know it's actually them replying and not a person.... like how do I validate that.... I'm talking more about me and my situation then I should- but SCCVMC has an office at Sobrato, they have no reason to not be everything I say and think they are as it pertains to Good Samaritan Hospital being the designated Ebola unit for SCC when all that shit was going on and not Valley or regional? HUH? I don't get it... I also don't get the heparin vs lovenox while I was in the hospital- better for homeless? better for dollas? Better for safety? Bloodblots? More specifically better for patients post pneumo- thorax? I don't know- odds are pubmed may know.... however- my feelings are after that and before that it's all a mess. I don't think it is this bad everywhere else- if it is at least if someone who is randomly reading this as a non-participant and reader will feel some resonation. (is that a word?)
I still haven't worked on my business plan- but damn everybody takes public transit these days- I love it.... but I have to blog about things first- I know it saved my life for some reason or anther bc some people don't believe in the power of 1. I do. Some people are locked in Jail cells and forced to attend programs where they watch videos that tell them they can't change things with their one grievance or complaint or issue.... well- here I am. I told them and now I'm telling the world... I was not permitted to attend the enneagram course or whatever else that if my family had their say in it- that might be considered which craft.... hey, Pell City Alabama and Springville are a long way from where I am now... but yet- with connections and conflicts of interest I can't prove and your all knowing cool kid attitude and.... well, you hit me with all this hate and actually caused physical harm, mental harm, and when I heard you hitting my niece I told you to stop it. I said- with chills on my neck- stop it. I would talk to you know who first and see if that's something she's doing or not.... I foresaw what I would have done had that been my child and not had the.... I might have walked out with my child and you to never see them again, I may have broken your jaw, shit... I tried- you argued.... who right or wrong.... it doesn't matter in a sense of.... I'm so far up the list of that was like months ago....
Ugh- I can't stand it... here come some email updates.... I'm turning 31 on the 13th. Fuck. That's ok- I'm blogging instead of actually handling shit- like the business plan, etc. I'll do that- truly.... but I think my blog is kinda my business plan. Like, I've never not been honest, or accountable or reachable... ya know. I'll figure it out- but fir I have to put this info out there so that it's there for someone else if they need it or feel alone, ya know. now some knd of shit is limiting the blogger document so that I can't backspace and then add more tech.... it like replaces it... I fucking hate it. I want a loan.... or whatever.... like literally, anything will be great.... but like $5million to make this happen in 5 years is maybe not doable... but at the same time.... anything and everything is everything. But, I will not be renting an office space or space... I will be purchasing. Cars, I'll lease. It's up to him by then I hope... but I'm still not someone without baggage that's literally repellent. Ugh- why do they have windows 10 behind the desk at the library yet I'm with windows 7 enterprise? Same thing/situation at little orchard....
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