Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Thug in a cocktail dress...



So it was a Holiday weekend right?
I was arrested on Wednesday afternoon, went to court on Thursday with some good looking guys who can attest to the fact that the asshats in the court were making fun of my ‘lazy eye.’  That just shows you what I’m dealing with here. 
Thank you to Cody Alan for coming out.  The courage to do so and now to continue after the onslaught you may or may not have foreseen is admirable.  Ellen, on yes- another episode of Masterclass….
Thank you to that person who made me watch that first epsidoe… I made fun of it- but now it’s one of my favorites…

She came out, as planned, with Oprah as her therapist, and then was fired for it. 
Anyways- my case got something where they got to keep me to the next day…. Of which I sat in a holding cell for 5 hours, with two other guys
You can always tell some of them- the first day when I got back from court this dude kept asking- did you get drugs? Did you get drugs?  Do you do drugs?  So naturally, I used the C word in our conversation one too many times… not the one that I used for that nasty female impersonator at the King Library….
But the COP word.  I hate it.  They do to, real officers that is- I know this because I have real Officers in my life that I know and love.  For the drug dealers in my life- some are one in the same so don’t trip! J
It’s very derogatory- so if you didn’t know you’re welcome because use it and it’s like a slap in the face.
But newsflash, if youre pretending to be in inmate or prisoner, and get your feathers ruffled when I use the COP word inadvertablty becaseu lets face it I type and talk ninty to nothing when im not singing in my head oin addition to typing.  
They point Is I was like OMG- STOP…. I CAN TELL YOU’RE IA! IA- internal affairs.
As a priosoner or inmate- in addition to worrying about what life will be like in the real worlsd tou also have to worry about hwat life is going on in there…w hich somet9ime means having someon shove drugs up your ass hilke to smuggle into the jail…. Yes, it’s a reqal thing
So then, he further outs himself by leaving…. And im left sitting there with every oine staring… I mean- it’s acurse sometimes… beijng me or knwouoing me in fact a cuirse.. it sucks.

On another note- it got me and the dudes pb & J’s yes, they left us in the holding cell for like 6 hourws and weren’t going to feed us.  I sadi I wouldn’t tell- I lied.  But, thank you.  Either way change would come.  This Deputy- possibhly a CO borught me and the two others the best sandwiches we had ever had.  Nonetheless, by not going to court that day, Friday, mena tthat wwe had to stay in jail all weekend.   Monday was a holiday and then I went to Court on Tuesday- where I didn’t even see the Judge I was told I would see which is why I had to come back on Friday..
Waste of resources much??
Sadly, no meth was shoved up my anywhere, and neither was anything else… but I did talk to someone who completely changed my world as far as math goes… Liquid money is, credit is, and an imaginary number I found out  is negative -1/  So why the fuck not just say -1….  I asked, one genius to another….the whole world collapsed!  This is because the one D I ever have been proud to earn or have ever received as a grade in my academic career came because I didn’t get it…. Fucktard- it’s for when you need credit! Duh, so 0 times negative 1 (-1) is what….. -1.…. BAM it keeps going! 
So if you’re in this complex huge mess of a math equation- picture professor Klump’s board with the chalk and then think of the dismay the ensures if after all that unlike pie it reaches an end- thankfully back in the days of Pluto and da Vinci and those other (did I refer to myself as a genius- lemmie retract that! Especially since I just misspelled genious )
Ah a retraction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a correction! That’s what a newspaper posts! That has to do with a blog in my head that I shall post eventually or it may have already been done so…. Anyways…
Seriously, I think after that I asked if he was circumcised or not…. If you know me you know why I asked… had I made this discovery in high school I would have asked my teacher the same question!  We decided to keep it platonic related to- the way things are and my smart ass did not need one more reason for a deputy or CO to beat me up… apparently in jail they call a dude giving another dude head ‘hugs.’  (yes, I like all guys, but uc-undercover or uncut or uncircumcised get extra points in the world that is Josh Ray.)
OK- I’ve posted like three blogs today.  I have a great one about the future of fighting fires, but I’m tired and just ate two chimichangas from 7-11… that I heated up and covered in salsa, cheese, chili and jalapenos.  They were steak and black bean.  Then ate some type of brownie, and drowned myself in diet coke.  I’m going to read a book called 4 3 2 1 if I can find it because I heard it was fabulous. 
Imagine- a week in jail.  What’s that worth to some of you?  I don’t but what if I had a dog.  I wasn’t allowed to make a single phone call, was never mirandized, was lied to, made fun of in court by the DA and his thugs, and….
They don’t tell you what time it is if you ask… and sometimes they lie to you.  They totally can fuck with you in whatever way they want.  Including beat you up on your Dad’s order’s because he’s a judge and you embarrassed him! 

Let my friend not be ok.... and you'll be answering to me 'Your Honor'

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