Sunday, February 5, 2017

I promise not to write a chapter titled 'I pray for dick sometimes.'



Started: 2/2….I love blogging- it’s therapeutic to have all your shit out there ya know.  I mean some things I expand upon in my head, but I don’t think that even if it was going to be private that I would write it.  

I might be mistaken, but I think everyone is that way.  If I told it all there would be no surprises…. Or id has to go even further and I don’t even have the energy for that right now.

Friday was so productive!  I went to a community center and got some information as well as a ton of groceries/food items- and I’m not talking things comprised 90% of sodium…. Apples, and bananas, and soup, and nut free granola bars, etc.  And a ton of those expensive hygiene items- deo, razors, shaving gel… I was thrilled! I went to the DMV and got a thing I needed for UBER.  I even made progress with the fam- granted due to their tricks last time I didn’t go to see if it was true or not.  Instead I decided to hump it all the way back to my normal stomping ground- about four miles away….mind you I had probably already walked more than my usual that day.  The only reason I bring that up is because I fucking got mugged…. AGAIN!

I think it’s becoming a sport- this dude came in the bathroom, kicked me in the head, yelled at me like it’s my fault that he ain’t got shit…. ‘I aint got shit!’ and out he went with mine.  That just shows you how stupid people can be- I think he had heard me mention that I hadn’t paid for them as they were from a nonprofit as I passed around some of my goods to those who may not actually be able to make it to this place themselves.  This asshole could have at least asked me where I got it all so that he could go himself… his lazy ass will probably just wait until I stroll by again with all my loot and be a bastard again.  I just sat there baffled- I honestly hadn’t even gone through it all to see everything.  Oh not to mention he got my ID! AH!

Yes, he got my California ID, meaning that I am photo ID-les for weeks.  For some reason here when they print your tempery paper copy to suffice until the hard one comes in the mail- it doesn’t have your picture on it.  So in addition to that asshole ruining that, he got both paper and hard ID, and now I can’t go to see if my family actually came through or not because I don’t have a photo ID.  I mean… things that make me cuss….

I can’t even go to any shelters because- THEY REQUIRE A PICTURE ID! FUCK!

This has been the best learning experience of my life…. The looks on these DMV queens faces when they saw me the next morning after I camped out overnight- I went at like 1630 Monday afternoon to see what they could do right? They said I had to bring some form from some office miles away in order to get anything…. Stupidly I left and sat outside and almost cried.  Until I was like, do they think I’m stupid?  Too bad it was after 1700 when the gusto came to me to storm the gate…. So my happy ass made a little bed on the bench outside.  A sweet person even covered me up with the Snuggles-iest smelling blanket that knocked the chill off and almost had me sweating by morning.  Thank you, to that awesome person. 

Resumed: 2/5! Super Bowl?! Holla! 

I’m making it a point to be positive on this American Holiday- I don’t know who is performing but I sure wish it was Iggy or Lady Gaga.  Hang on- I’ve got to Google that and a few things Amy Schumer told me I should also….AHHHHHHHH! How the fuck did I know it was my home girl?! 

YAY! I can’t effing wait! Also- go PAT’s! 

I sat next to the most amazing pats fan one night in LA.  I had just moved and my very first friend recommended a sushi restaurant that is still a hot spot… It’s at the Target Shopping Center in Weho.  Literally, the best sushi and for $20 you leave so stuffed it should be illegal.  Insert Tom Brady joke here… and then a chicken of the sea joke here… then, if only Nick L was about to add his 2 cents to the equation… 


Anyways, it’s a challenge for me to sit at the bar at a sushi restaurant.  Not at other places, just the fish ones.  I don’t know why- maybe it’s the fact that I get soy sauce ALL OVER THE PLACE! In addition to requiring more than any one person should per piece.  It’s obscene.  It was like that in college when midnight sushi was the highlight of my life, to now almost 13 years later.  This was a crowded night and naturally the only seat available was the one at the bar- she had my coveted corner seat, but since she had an open book I thought I might not have to exhaust myself with pleasantries.  WRONG! But, it was honestly a great dinner! I consumed way too many Kirin Lights, and then of course drove home- thank God I got a DUI not soon after this night.  Yes, I said it! 

We started talking about football and how she was a Pat’s fan.  I had to eventually ask what the unabbreviated name was… she was like oh duh? Then we agreed they were one of my favs as well.  Can I insert here that also- the Bieb’s would have been a fabulous choice as well! But, I feel like there is a money issue there.  He would be the only entertainer in the world that actually refused to spend money instead of earning it- an admirable thing in my opinion. 
I wish I knew more about when to start and stop paragraphs.  

Wayve yo hands side to side, I know you care- 7/11 will be one of the songs I have heart surgery to when its time!  But the CRNA (whom I already have picked out, A.W.) will yell for it to be changed because I will either need double the dose of Nipride or go into SVT.  Or because she’s so stellar will handle it like the champ she is because her dariar likes to bounce to it also!  HA! 

Back to sushi flaka! Yes, we even talked about our mutual respect for each other’s energy that night- beautiful inside and out.  I mean, me being me, and her being her- when I was being escorted to my seat we both made eye contact.  She first had a sour look (like I was her date, severely tardy for the party), then I smiled like she was my best friend (I never meet a stranger, and at this moment we both saw right through each other and then there was only fabulosicty and the urge to devour as much raw fish as possible instead of each other.)  The amazing thing about when I meet someone that I have a connection with is that- actually… socially I’m always a hot mess… I’m a bipolar talkatoo.  We would chat it up, then take a break.  Then, chat it up… then break.  

So, I have a great story from last night.  I mean- holy moly.  But I can’t do it justice right now! I’m hungry and instead of opening a can of soup right here like I want to… actually, never mind…. Totally opening some soup.  Creamy Chicken and Dumplings! Yes, I miss Local Color all the time! The Campbell’s version doesn’t compare- though it’s still fabulous!
Yes, I’m currently sitting in the crowded library eating soup from a can- earlier it was some Tonight dough by jimmy Fallon and Ben and Jerry’s.  I mean hey, this is my version of working from home! Or working in general.  

Aw shit! I know a lot of fabulous CRNA’s now. Just insert yourselves in that spot if you feel the shoe fits.  Cheers if you lol’d.  And come at me bro if you thought it might be too small…! ‘It was like parking a dolley truck in a compact car spot! You’re a trooper btw!’ 

And now- I still don’t have time! Damn it! I will work on it and post it tomorrow! It is great…. And makes me respect the universe much more then I have lately.  

On that note- One of the most influential Chief Justices of our nation said that first you must read the law…. Speaking to the tricky art of interpretation.  It makes sense- first you must read it! Black and white word for word- but what if you can’t read?

i GIVE ZERO FUCKS- cheers to rockin' side to side! (Everytime... he does it everytime! he redeems himself then I'll be if he doesn't go back down again!)
:) 
Loves! 
And yes, I pray for each of you daily... and sometimes dick.
 
     

No comments:

Post a Comment