Happy Nation HIV Testing Day! (1 in 4 youth become homeless after coming
out…)
I remember the first time I got tested. I was in college at UAB and my friend ran
into me on campus and was like, ‘Hey, come with me to get tested?!’ I was like, wtf I haven’t studied for
anything and I don’t think we have a test today?! After walking a while and then going to a few
different desks and down some stairs and basically to the basement of this
building we were there. I was asked a
lot of questions… you will be as well if you get tested. I answered all the questions and then was
given my results- which I just knew were going to be positive… and I was
negative. I was like, holla! This is the same day on facebook that after
sleeping with someone who was positive like the week before I noticed everyone
posting their negative status… I remembered my friend from the week before- how
shocked he was that I still wanted to have sex with him after he told me… it
was the most humbling experience really.
Like, I could feel his insecurity around his status and how like shocked
he was that I still wanted to have sex with him after he told me. He told I had no idea how many people said ‘ew
gross’ or turned him down after telling people (he was bi…) that he was
positive. It was heart breaking. The sex if you’re curious was mind blowing…
like mind blowing. He is one of the
kindest people I’ve to this day ever met.
He like most people was kicked out when he came out to his family… and
was making it on his own in the service industry. To those that this happens to- come to
LA. I don’t know what to do but I know
that I’m here and we have a City that’s literally GAY. West Hollywood is amazing and yes, there is
shade and sketchiness… but also, there are two brand new Gay and Lesbian
Centers… I don’t know where the shelters are for the gay youth…as I shouldn’t because
I’m not a youth I can’t tell you what I
went through and what I’m still going through
with my family… its not that they don’t want me around… its not that they don’t
want me to exist anymore… its like they don’t want me to even have existed…
like on Harry Potter when she performs the spell that takes away her parents memories…
wiping her from their memory, and photographs and probably text messages and friends
of theirs memories…. That’s what my parents want and I can’t give it to them… and
neither can you…I had all this happen to me starting at the age of twenty six. It sucks… and I realized that if my parents weren’t
at the heart of all my misery they would have come to my rescue. Let me tell you about this time at the ballpark
during city league when a boy was picking on me and took my hat… my mamma went
apeshit. Well, ive learned that can’t no
body pick on her son but her… and my dad of course. I just forget that… as a child, whether you’re
14 or 40 you have this childlike love for your family that they cant and could
do no harm to you… but that is so incorrect.
I can’t tell you how many children for a day old infant to a twenty
something year old I’ve taken care of who was up in that bed in the ICU at the
fault of their parents or caregivers. Just know I love you. I was so blind that I even allowed my family
to hurt my very best friend here in LA.
They still are causing havoc in his life even though… On this day many years I posted on facebook
that I was ‘negative’ but even if I was positive I would post it… because that’s
what I would do and I would wear it the same way I would a negative status…
well, 4 years ago on January 31, 2015 at 9pm in Hollywood I tested
positive. It hit me like a ton of bricks
that I was ready for until I wasn’t. I
had literally just seroconverted. By the
time I started meds a month or so later i was still like shocked… but that’s ok…
I thought I was ready for the onslaught… but I wasn’t… but that’s how it goes… I
was idealistic enough to think it was ok… I thought it was then ok to post on
facebook that I had tested positive… well,
its sadly not and wasn’t and still to this day people are shocked that I did so…
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