Monday, October 16, 2017

I'm not joking...

Like, when I say that I feel like I've been kidnapped I'm not lying.  yes, I do in fact realize that i am not a child.  But, still.  It's not hard to put the connections together- the bay area is in fact a serious nightmare for this country.  I lived in an apartment complex in walnut creek, through cross country trav corps that is indeed referred to as 'Rape alley.'  They had of course not informed of this.  I had no trouble my whole life until san jose and i cant understand why they cant see why me having been here for a year and getting nowhere but in more trouble makes it factual that they are the problem and not me. I literally with i could charge them officially somehow but i had to hitchhike up to fremont just now to use the library and am no close to anything then i was.  No one is going to want me in their lives after this and it isnt making me anything but sad and scared.  terrified that they have a law firm called 'Habbas' and im not unsure if that is a joke to let me know that im in a reality show hell and should call bullshit.  or that i dont have a phone to call and yet hardly any of the pay phones work and then what if i leave and they have my friend locked In a basement somewhere?  I don't want him to come and rescue me, not that he even knows I'm going through this, cause i dont want him to try to find me only to get caught up in this mess if hes not already.     

The law foundation of silicone valley has dropped me as a client.  they have offered zero help or even tried to make an effort in providing any kind of support.

Andrea at the re-entry center and santa clara county valley medical center homeless healthcare program has been unavailable to provide me with assistance for getting a new bus pass- i think i have mentioned that a lot of times that is my only safe place or refuge when i need to just sit and chill.  Don't worry- they let me know on the bus/the drivers do indeed let me know that I'm not welcome- and often ask which stop im getting off at or have even taken longer routes as to disrupt my reality of where I need to get off or time frame for where i should be when i should be given the usual speed and traffic.  It's literally a nightmare.  I tried to go back by little orchard and the bus didn't even go around by where it is- it just made a circle of sorts and then the driver was like 'last stop.' 

my mom and dad are worthless.  like- literally they would be the ones to laugh at my situation.  I realize im 31, but hey they might need me one day so why is it so hard for them to be there for me now?

I have one acquaintance, aaron braun- in san jose.  who somehow followed me to fremont today- though if he is the one holding hostage or something its a nightmare.  like- what is the deal with san jose.  Its terrible.  I'm hoping for the best. 

I'm having to steal food and sleep on the streets- still.  i mean literally no progress- thanks Judge Monohan for referring me to housing like you were supposed to- only that you didnt. 

how is this america?

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