So I went to the library in San Jose for the last time, it is literally a life line for me. I mean I already walk around looking crazy like what the hell am I literally supposed to do? I was looking for directions on how to get to Stanford since I was having breathing issues and coughing up nastiness! This lady literally asked me to move so she could grab a bench that was under the desk that holds the keyboard- what did she do? Unplugged my computer and told me I was banned. What would have happened if that had escalated? Like who was she or is she? People here can now go to hell. Like they are beyond their own worst enemies! RUDE!
Kim Kardashian West for President!
Just got out of Stanford-
So at the 8/7/17 1651 it's like I tried to call mom last night from sf- but she doesn't ansewer they house phone. So I went and tried her cell, doesn't work, and then now again asking her again and she says ok call that one. I'm just like- I don't get it, I don't, but oh wait after joshie go see and do we can see what happens.
-------The great thing about saving drafts but I don't know the date I started the above for when the Lady actually unplugged my computer....So it's added to today as is the below.
I already have a blog started that has some exact dates that I’m adding this as a word document to—we will see. I’m not divulging my location for fear of literally just- I made it all the was through getting attacked and living at that shelter only to be hit again. I can’t take it. I’ve always been one of those- use your words not your fists. It happens when those closest to you literally can’t stand the sight of you. They tell you that. They get physical for that reason. (I watched Ms. Tina Turner at the VH1 Divas Live and then while trying to get directions to get back to that shelter- it’s not odd when you think that I have been going and doing literally nothing. I haven’t had a bus pass of money to get on the bus. Or get anywhere but where I do and don’t have access to now. It’s beyond that- I have emails asking where I am, why not at all these appointments- same day as the watching the video, looking for directions- and a person whom I thought was grabbing a stool whom I moved my person for literally unplugged my computer and just looked at me waiting for me to what? Cry? Leave? Get mad? That’s in these people backyard- of where are you, etc., of here is your confidential info but careful don’t lose it… opps did you lose it again. Are you sure you don’t want to go to JSI? OMG what are we going to do with you. You have to have your EBT card reprinted again- ugh you’ve got to keep up with your stuff. OMG you went to jail for 30 days for jay walking? Yeah, and the judge wouldn’t refer me to a THU. I started with the parenthesis with I watched Celine sing Alone- another favorite. I made it all the way through that to just watching clips here and there of my favorites-) Rob Lowe tells his children as I watched on the View on youtube- He tells them find the light you look best in. It’s funny I think they think that him being a dad that they describe on the show means camera light or lighting… you can see it. They may know or not know- but I’ve had what he’s talking about. Some people have you at hello. Literally, the eye contact speaks before you can or even have to. That can be whomever I guess. For me- It remains with one person. Literally, its that light I look best in, the trust, the I have your back, the respect. I know I will have it with that person when finally we are face to face again. It can be so much more or less in jus thought. I peaced after that- trying to figure out what to do- trying to make it happen, trying to get my shit together. I literally was terrified of just facing the unknown and getting away from San Jose. Well the details are crazy and mine and his. He gets everything. No matter what- for ever and always. Just as a friend- just as a friend… I’m writing this having been told you need to get a friend, she actually said what about a friend? I said I don’t have a friend, how dare you tell me to get one, I know I don’t have anyone but me… this is why the struggle is so real. Things go better. But going back to the light, the eye contact, the friend, my friend, et al. It was like so easy to do- I keep thinking he was serious or I’m not serious. My issue is that I have a lot to do. I have to handle this San Jose library issue from a federal level from San Francisco. Literally, that’s what Becky from the Mental Health Advocacy Group said. I’m like, so it’s still a joke in my mind of not reality. What’s it going to take to have Joshie go see and do and fail and then if, and then,…. I literally have been doing this in San Jose already and then before without him. So when it is he and I face to face again it may literally be in heaven and me thinking about our eyes meeting and Rob Lowe Taking about his kids being his light and hoping they find that in their lives is so what it’s all about. In San Jose I’ve heard people talk about literally getting someone else before they get you. Oh no, they were asking for it- he didn’t lock his bike up, he left that phone in his locked car but in plain sight. I had to bust that window and get it- but damn I can’t figure out why I’m in jail. It’s happened to me as my life trying to go through all these free phones- yeah right. I hope I’m not big enough that I put that together for them for whatever- but I have to tell my story with these so that he knows I’m still trying. I have no doubt what he is going through is exponentially worse because if we are what I’m saying we are then he doesn’t have the admiration I have for him. I pray he does. I know in my heart he is why things are so difficult right now because when you think about the movie cabin fever, chemo therapy, Charon and her Ozzy, and literally our American Love Story’s. I watched her on the Talk speaking to him going to rehab for sex addiction. But I dunno- I’m not calling BS but I remember on their reality show them not being able to have sex and just never putting two and two together. It’s just what is all of this worth if it’s not an authentic life. Stop cutting babies, cause yes- baby boys still die after circumcision in hospitals. Make parents be at the bedside for that- regardless. No way will that continue. Seriously- I’ve never seen one but I know taking care of the after math. Fast and the Furious 7 is me and him. You can see it in their eyes. Literally at the end of the music video it says ‘For Paul.’ What if one of us gets cancer and we just live- or what if either way we are just friends after this or can even be that. My life is very gray. Not, dull. But a very very vibrant. Dull gray is black and white mixed to make gray… which no no. Totally different. I went to SF with the courage from his light as in his eyes and him. I went slept on the sidewalk, found my way through the muni, the library, it only having one set of bathrooms! AH! But I’m ok with that, trying to go to a shelter, it existing but me being redirected, eating with my EBT at Subway, feeling so comfortable, now back in Santa Clara county cause I’m scared of the cold that is the actual weather there. I’m regrouping and heading back south or north for good. The struggle is real- and is only for the one who has earned the right to it period. Esp now. Me, mine, my everything is for one person. My family literally hate that- are scared of it and have done all they can to just make it even more difficult. Like, want me to call them but then totally change my whole perspective of myself. That is no more. I’m excited. Random updates have to happen, No more questioning where my loyalties lie or don’t lay or whatever. I am messaging a family member now saying- honestly I may never get to see you face to face again because I have so much to handle here and I’m not just picking up my life here and these battles and leaving to be a captive again. Not happening. Once life happens for me again it'll be an ending like life in the notebook.
Kim Kardashian West for President!
Just got out of Stanford-
So at the 8/7/17 1651 it's like I tried to call mom last night from sf- but she doesn't ansewer they house phone. So I went and tried her cell, doesn't work, and then now again asking her again and she says ok call that one. I'm just like- I don't get it, I don't, but oh wait after joshie go see and do we can see what happens.
-------The great thing about saving drafts but I don't know the date I started the above for when the Lady actually unplugged my computer....So it's added to today as is the below.
I already have a blog started that has some exact dates that I’m adding this as a word document to—we will see. I’m not divulging my location for fear of literally just- I made it all the was through getting attacked and living at that shelter only to be hit again. I can’t take it. I’ve always been one of those- use your words not your fists. It happens when those closest to you literally can’t stand the sight of you. They tell you that. They get physical for that reason. (I watched Ms. Tina Turner at the VH1 Divas Live and then while trying to get directions to get back to that shelter- it’s not odd when you think that I have been going and doing literally nothing. I haven’t had a bus pass of money to get on the bus. Or get anywhere but where I do and don’t have access to now. It’s beyond that- I have emails asking where I am, why not at all these appointments- same day as the watching the video, looking for directions- and a person whom I thought was grabbing a stool whom I moved my person for literally unplugged my computer and just looked at me waiting for me to what? Cry? Leave? Get mad? That’s in these people backyard- of where are you, etc., of here is your confidential info but careful don’t lose it… opps did you lose it again. Are you sure you don’t want to go to JSI? OMG what are we going to do with you. You have to have your EBT card reprinted again- ugh you’ve got to keep up with your stuff. OMG you went to jail for 30 days for jay walking? Yeah, and the judge wouldn’t refer me to a THU. I started with the parenthesis with I watched Celine sing Alone- another favorite. I made it all the way through that to just watching clips here and there of my favorites-) Rob Lowe tells his children as I watched on the View on youtube- He tells them find the light you look best in. It’s funny I think they think that him being a dad that they describe on the show means camera light or lighting… you can see it. They may know or not know- but I’ve had what he’s talking about. Some people have you at hello. Literally, the eye contact speaks before you can or even have to. That can be whomever I guess. For me- It remains with one person. Literally, its that light I look best in, the trust, the I have your back, the respect. I know I will have it with that person when finally we are face to face again. It can be so much more or less in jus thought. I peaced after that- trying to figure out what to do- trying to make it happen, trying to get my shit together. I literally was terrified of just facing the unknown and getting away from San Jose. Well the details are crazy and mine and his. He gets everything. No matter what- for ever and always. Just as a friend- just as a friend… I’m writing this having been told you need to get a friend, she actually said what about a friend? I said I don’t have a friend, how dare you tell me to get one, I know I don’t have anyone but me… this is why the struggle is so real. Things go better. But going back to the light, the eye contact, the friend, my friend, et al. It was like so easy to do- I keep thinking he was serious or I’m not serious. My issue is that I have a lot to do. I have to handle this San Jose library issue from a federal level from San Francisco. Literally, that’s what Becky from the Mental Health Advocacy Group said. I’m like, so it’s still a joke in my mind of not reality. What’s it going to take to have Joshie go see and do and fail and then if, and then,…. I literally have been doing this in San Jose already and then before without him. So when it is he and I face to face again it may literally be in heaven and me thinking about our eyes meeting and Rob Lowe Taking about his kids being his light and hoping they find that in their lives is so what it’s all about. In San Jose I’ve heard people talk about literally getting someone else before they get you. Oh no, they were asking for it- he didn’t lock his bike up, he left that phone in his locked car but in plain sight. I had to bust that window and get it- but damn I can’t figure out why I’m in jail. It’s happened to me as my life trying to go through all these free phones- yeah right. I hope I’m not big enough that I put that together for them for whatever- but I have to tell my story with these so that he knows I’m still trying. I have no doubt what he is going through is exponentially worse because if we are what I’m saying we are then he doesn’t have the admiration I have for him. I pray he does. I know in my heart he is why things are so difficult right now because when you think about the movie cabin fever, chemo therapy, Charon and her Ozzy, and literally our American Love Story’s. I watched her on the Talk speaking to him going to rehab for sex addiction. But I dunno- I’m not calling BS but I remember on their reality show them not being able to have sex and just never putting two and two together. It’s just what is all of this worth if it’s not an authentic life. Stop cutting babies, cause yes- baby boys still die after circumcision in hospitals. Make parents be at the bedside for that- regardless. No way will that continue. Seriously- I’ve never seen one but I know taking care of the after math. Fast and the Furious 7 is me and him. You can see it in their eyes. Literally at the end of the music video it says ‘For Paul.’ What if one of us gets cancer and we just live- or what if either way we are just friends after this or can even be that. My life is very gray. Not, dull. But a very very vibrant. Dull gray is black and white mixed to make gray… which no no. Totally different. I went to SF with the courage from his light as in his eyes and him. I went slept on the sidewalk, found my way through the muni, the library, it only having one set of bathrooms! AH! But I’m ok with that, trying to go to a shelter, it existing but me being redirected, eating with my EBT at Subway, feeling so comfortable, now back in Santa Clara county cause I’m scared of the cold that is the actual weather there. I’m regrouping and heading back south or north for good. The struggle is real- and is only for the one who has earned the right to it period. Esp now. Me, mine, my everything is for one person. My family literally hate that- are scared of it and have done all they can to just make it even more difficult. Like, want me to call them but then totally change my whole perspective of myself. That is no more. I’m excited. Random updates have to happen, No more questioning where my loyalties lie or don’t lay or whatever. I am messaging a family member now saying- honestly I may never get to see you face to face again because I have so much to handle here and I’m not just picking up my life here and these battles and leaving to be a captive again. Not happening. Once life happens for me again it'll be an ending like life in the notebook.
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